The Tryouts
by avatarjk137
Summary: To qualify people for Brawl, Master Hand has decided to have the new candidates duel current Smashers to determine the worthy candidates! Actiony, with a side of humor! Rated T for language, intensely violent fight scenes, and humorous gruesome death.
1. Chapter 1

**avatar: Hi! This is my newest fic, The Tryouts. It's all about new Smashers having to fight current Smashers to get into Brawl. This fic will contain several fight scenes - indeed, that's the bread and butter of this fic - and will probably continue irregularly until we know the full character line-up for Brawl (and maybe a bit after that). Also, look forward to seeing the regular Smashers do things you've never seen them do before (at least not in Smash Bros.)! Disclaimer by Pichu!**

**Pichu: avatarjk137 does not own any of the videogame characters in here. He only owns the contents of this story... hey! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO TO ME HERE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, AVATAR!**

**avatar: jeez, Pichu, enough sailor talk. It's your fault, anyway.**

**Chapter 1**

**Entrance Exams**

Mario and Luigi stood sweating. Each faced the other, their clothes burnt and torn from the battle. Link, who had already been defeated, watched from the announcer's room on Big Blue. Mario and Luigi each had only one life left, and the Falcon Flyer was their current position. Dr. Mario stood by Link, waiting to give medical attention if anybody got hurt.

Luigi was the first to snap. "Ha!" He began shooting his green fireballs. Mario ran, jumped, air-dodged, and rolled through the flaming barrage, and used his Super Jump Punch to launch Luigi into the air, spraying coins across the arena. Luigi landed on the number 28 car before Mario, and ran forward with a flurry of blind punches. Mario landed and put up his shield, blocking each blow. "GOT-A YOU, BROTHER!" Luigi cried, his voice exultant with his impending victory over Mario. He loved it when he beat Mario, which wasn't as often as he lost. He hit Mario with his Fire Jump Punch, the full power engaging due to their close quarters. Mario was launched airborne, hit the top of the Falcon Flyer, and dropped back down. Luigi was ready with his Luigi Cyclone, but Mario engaged the Mario Tornado at the same time, and both attacks canceled out.

Luigi tried a hard left hook, but Mario was already behind him. With his famous speed, the red-clad plumber grabbed Luigi's leg and began to spin him around… and around… and around. "Sorry, Luigi, but not-a today!" Eventually, centrifugal force took over, and Luigi was sent flying, screaming like a girl. He hit the road, rolling and skidding to a stop. He got up, clutching his head… and screamed as the number 9 connected with his face.

"The winner is… MARIO!" Luigi and Mario, along with Link, materialized in the Smash Fortress, a beautiful castle that for some odd reason hurtled through a void at breakneck speeds. At any rate, it was a good place for the Smashers to live between tournaments. The third tournament was drawing near, and everybody was on edge. The exhibition matches they often held to stay fresh (or to settle disagreements) were only enough to be a temporary distraction.

"**All Smashers, report to the conference room, I repeat, ALL Smashers must report to the conference room,**" a voice boomed. Everybody recognized the strong voice as that of the Master Hand, and if he was calling, it might be what they were all anticipating. Everybody in the gateway room for Big Blue nodded and filed out, toward the conference room.

"**I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here,**" Master Hand said. In front of him stood all 26 Smashers (counting Nana). "**Would anybody care to take a guess?**"

"I'm guessing the next Smash tournament is finally near its starting time," Roy ventured. He was watching flames dance up and down his sword as he spoke, and unless you heard him speaking, you'd think he had shut out the outside world. Roy was a notorious pyromaniac among the house, which the villains loved to use to their advantage. "You wanted to tell us we had one week to prepare or something." The flames leaped around and off the blade and encircled him in a way he had precisely calculated to make him look cool. "Am I right, Hand?"

Master Hand's creepy laughter rebounded off the halls. "**Actually, Roy, you are only half-right. The new SMASH! Tournament is approaching. However, I wanted to tell you all… about the new arrivals. I am accepting possible new Smashers for the impending tournament. Before we are through, new Smashers will have been picked to train with you for the several months still remaining before the tournament. Come, the first batch has arrived.**" He teleported them all outside, to the castle's courtyard, a beautiful garden with the most bizarre skyline one could hope for in a castle, due to constant dimensional shifting. A multicolored bridge had extended from nowhere to the front gate. Rapidly ascending the bridge was a round yellow figure on a motorcycle, which promptly crashed into the front gate, shattering it. The figure came into a rolling stop in front of the Smasher gathering.

"Nooo…" Mario muttered in mild disbelief.

"Yessss…." Wario replied, leering. He then began to laugh maniacally. Ganondorf and Bowser soon joined in. Then Master Hand and Mewtwo joined in, creating a cacophony of evil laughter.

"**SILENCE!**" Master Hand suddenly screamed, and he got his request. Two more figures were approaching from the sky. First Pit lightly touched down. He was greeted with a bit of polite applause, and derisive laughter from Falco, Ganondorf, Bowser, Captain Falcon, and Donkey Kong. Meta Knight came crashing down a second later, and although he was less than one-fourth Pit's height, he commanded a bit more respect. Kirby's eyes took on a determined expression that looked a bit out of place. "**As you can see, Wario, Pit, and Meta Knight have already cleared themselves with me and earned the right to participate in the next tournament, as has one other. He is already among you.**" After a full minute of searching, they found a cardboard box that hadn't been there before. From under the box… came Solid Snake.

"You can't be serious, Master Hand!" Marth exclaimed. "Letting a non-Nintendo Realm COMMONER into the tournament?!"

"**For special cases, swordsman, I have opened my doors, so it would be wise to drop your elitist attitude IMMEDIATELY. Snake _will_ participate. That reminds me… There will be more. Our Mansion will be out of rooms, and we can't have that, so some contestants… will have to go. Crazyyyy Haaannd…**"

"**BWAHWAHHAYHAHAHAYAYAHWHWHAA!**" Everybody froze at the disjointed, maniacal laughter of Crazy Hand. Crazy Hand rose from the ground directly in front of them, his index and middle finger extended. He suddenly rocketed forward, and at the speed he moved, only a few Smashers, such as Captain Falcon and Fox, could dodge. Dr. Mario wasn't one of those Smashers. As Crazy Hand reached Dr. Mario, he snipped his fingers shut around the Dr.'s waist, slicing him cleanly in half. He changed hand position and direction, flipping backward. His thumb and forefinger closed around Pichu's head, and squeezed, with pleasing (to him) results. Before anybody could blink, Crazy Hand sank back beneath the ground.

"I-is he gone?" Fox asked, his blaster probing the ground randomly with it's laser sight.

In response, Crazy Hand burst from the ground beneath them, sending several Smashers airborne as his maniacal laughter returned. He grabbed Roy in midair, shattering his armor, and squeezed the air from his lungs so that he could not cry out. Crazy Hand disappeared back below again, then returned, his hand empty of Roy. He zoomed toward Falco and Young Link, who were hugging each other for comfort, but stopped an inch from their faces. "**Dr. Mario, Pichu, and Roy have been ELIMINATED from this competition. Falco, Young Link, you are on notice: unless you come up with more techniques to separate yourself from Fox and Link, respectively, you will meet a similar fate. Are we clear?**" It was Master Hand's voice that spoke. A set of light-based strings were extended from his fingers, holding Crazy Hand at bay… barely.

"Crystal, SIR!" Falco yelped. Young Link nodded in agreement.

"Say," Zelda said, "without Dr. Mario, who will tend to our wounds?"

"**You'll figure it out,**" Master Hand assured them cruelly. Crazy Hand faded from view, his insane laughter echoing in their heads. The mutilated bodies of Dr. Mario and Pichu also faded. "**Mario, you can wear the Doctor uniform as an alternate costume for the next tournament, once the Wireframes clean off the bloodstains.**

"**That reminds me… there are more new contestants than the four you saw. That's why I called you all here. These people are untested, and I don't really _feel _like testing them, so you guys will have to. They will each fight one of you in a duel. The duels will be against Smashers of similar nature, so hero Vs. hero, sidekick Vs. sidekick, villain Vs. villain, so on and so forth. They will be fighting at full strength, and I need you guys to as well for proper judging. That means the new techniques you are all hiding for the next tournament – and I know you all have some – will be used as if they were part of your normal repertoire. Do I make myself clear?**"

"Who-a are these guys?" Mario asked boldly. Of the Smashers, he was one of the few who would talk back to Master Hand.

"**I'll let you find out then, but you already know some of them. Most are from Nintendo realms, but I have made a couple of special exceptions besides Snake. I bid you all adieu.**"

**End of Chapter**

**Next Chapter is our first real battle! I won't tell you who the new fighter is, but I'll give you an obvious hint: he's Viewtiful, baby!**


	2. Chapter 2

**avatar: Hello! Thanks for reading past the shorter first chapter, to my first real action chapter! I really think this one is a promising start! Here's Game And Watch with the disclaimer!**

**Mr. Game-And-Watch: (Beep)**

**avatar: that's right! You heard him!**

**Chapter 2**

**Viewtiful Joe Vs. Samus**

"**All Smashers report to the Pokemon Stadium Teleport Gate**." As the various heroes and villains complied with Master Hand's request, nervous looks adorned their faces. The teleport happened, and they all found themselves in the arena. Across the platform stood (floated) Master Hand, as well as Meta Knight, Pit, Wario, and Snake. "**Let's get right down to it, shall we? Introducing the first new potential Smasher…**" In a rush of cherry blossoms, a red-clad figure appeared. He had a helmet with a 'V' on it, white gloves and boots, and a pink cape. "**Viewtiful Joe!**"

Joe posed in front of them. "KENSHIN-A-GO-GO, BABY! Yo Smashers! I'm totally stoked to see if I have what it takes to join you guys! Say, who else here likes superhero movies?" Kirby, Luigi, Peach, Falco, Captain Falcon, and Bowser raised their hands. "Cool!"

But everybody else was staring at Bowser. "What? Can't a villain like superhero flicks?"

"**As per my rules,**" Master Hand continued, "**A corresponding Smasher must fight Joe. I need a strong, merciless hero… a tough one… one who wears a helmet and inspires fear in their enemies…**" Captain Falcon was now jumping up and down, his hand waving in the air, shouting, "OOH! OOH! ME! MEMEME!" "**Shut up, Falcon! I was talking about Samus!"**

The red-armored heroine nodded silently and stepped onto one of the floating starting platforms for the stadium, opposite Joe. "Hey? Dude? You gonna trash-talk me or what?" Joe asked. "Insults? Threats? Predictions? Pick-up lines? Dude?"

"Uhh, Samus is a girl," Fox said to Joe. "And she doesn't talk mid-fight. It's a hunter-prey thing."

"Oh. Ohh… kinky."

"**Indeed. Kinky. Ready? FIGHT!**"

Samus wasted no time in raising her arm cannon and launching a missile at Joe. Joe responded by ducking under the missile. Samus fired two more, and Joe again dodged at the last second. Samus fired a Super Missile, and Joe tried to dodge it, but it detonated as it passed him by. "OW!" He rolled to the ground. Still without moving from her spot, Samus began rapidly firing Charge Beam shots. Joe rolled away from a few, but got pelted by another in the face. "Ahh!" He Ukemi'd, avoiding damage, but Samus simply kept shooting at him.

"This chick's vicious… SLOW!" Time slowed down, and Joe began to easily kick the power beam spheres back at Samus. Samus was stunned as a blast hit each of her shoulder pads, her gut, one leg, dropping her to her knee, and finally one struck her helmet, knocking her back off the platform. She rolled to her feet and switched to her Ice Beam. Although she was curious about his time-manipulation powers, she didn't bother to use her Scan Visor; it never worked on Smashers. She fired a few shots of ice, and Joe dodged them all. "Sorry babe, I'm too Viewtiful for you!" Suddenly, a blast caught his foot, freezing his left leg to the ground. "Aw, CRAP!" Samus fired another barrage of missiles. As Joe stared at the missiles rushing at him, he got an idea. "MACH SPEED!" Time sped up and he rapidly punched the missiles as they got to him, destroying them. His body suddenly became immolated in flame, and the ice instantly melted off.

"Now you're in trouble!" Joe rushed her. "Mach speed level 3!" Joe began moving so quickly it was as if six of him were punching and kicking her at once. Samus went flying back and crashed to the ground. "Had enough, missile girl? I thought you were one of the toughest in your galaxy or something." Samus got up, and switched to her Plasma beam. "You can still fight? I'd better get serious!"

He posed, and a faceplate snapped shut from his helmet. A female voice cried out, "Just Go For It!"

"Who was-a that voice?" Luigi asked.

"**It was Crazy Hand. Now be quiet and watch.**"

Samus fired several shots from her Plasma beam. Even though he dodged, he could feel the extreme heat thru his uniform. Samus rushed him as she shot, and tried to smash him with her large shoulder pads. "Slow!" Joe dodged, and activated his Viewtiful Forever pose as she passed by, knocking her away. He then jumped into the air, and shot downward toward Samus. "Red-Hot Kick!" Samus tucked into her Morph Ball and rolled away, leaving two bombs in her wake. "Uh-oh!" The explosion knocked Joe backwards into the air. Samus came out of her Morph Ball, quickly switched to her Wave beam, and pointed up as she activated the Wavebuster. As Joe reached the arc of his flight back through the air, an electrical beam snaked into his back and began to shock him continuously. "ARRGGHH! THIS… IS… MORE… PAINFUL… THAN… SYLVIA… AFTER… I… STAND… HER… UP… ONADATE!"

The Wavebuster stopped and Joe crashed to the ground, smoking. "What? You almost _killed _me. Why did you stop there?"

Samus inspected her arm cannon, then looked at Joe. "I'm out of missiles to fuel the weapon."

"Hey! You talked to me! You sound pretty hot… any chance I could see you without your helmet?"

"Maybe if you can beat me." She fired a regular charged Wave beam shot at Joe, which he dodged. As he was coming down, she blasted the ground he was about to land on with a charged Plasma shot, knocking him back into the air, and began to charge a Power beam blast to her maximum.

Joe landed with another Ukemi and ran toward her. "You asked for it! Mach speed!" He zipped toward her, and she put up her shield. His super-fast punches began to shrink the shield, and when his body ignited, the shield quickly began to cave in. Samus launched the Grapple beam, but Joe dodged and zipped in. "ZOOM IN!" Everybody's vision seemed to be forced toward Joe, and he seemed to inspire awe. Samus found herself almost completely unable to move, and her damaged shield faded. "Now… SLOW!"

As time slowed again, Joe seemed to grin under his faceplate. "Feel the power of Red Hot One Hundred!" He slammed a punch onto Samus's armor, then another, then another. Each punch caused Samus to double over in pain, and left spiderweb cracks in her armor. Finally, a punch sent her flying backward. Zoom In and Slow faded, and Joe ran forward. "I'm not done yet! Voomerang!" The 'V' crest on Joe's helmet shot toward Samus, and she took aim in midair. Her charged blast destroyed the Voomerang and kept going, but Joe's 'V' crest grew back on his head. Joe then jumped over the charged ball of energy, landing a few feet in front of Samus.

"Luckily," Samus said as she tapped her arm cannon, "I've picked up some more beams recently for my arsenal."

"You won't get the chance to use them!" Joe cried. "I'll finish you right here! RED-HOT KICK!" As he zoomed down, Samus went Morph Ball again and dodged away, leaving her bombs. Joe double-jumped out of the Red-Hot Kick, and flew toward Samus's new standing position. "Nice try, but I learn from my mistakes! Red-Hot Kick!" This time he was too close for Samus to roll away.

"Suit yourself." Samus performed a Screw Attack, countering Joe's Red-Hot Kick and sucking him in. As Samus ended the Screw Attack, Joe floated stunned in front of her. She pulled back her arm cannon and spiked him down to the ground, landing on one of the raised platforms. Suddenly, there was beeping, rumbling and flashing, and the raised platforms sank to the ground.

"What's going on?" Joe moaned as he got up, rubbing his sore chest.

"Arena change. Happens in Pokemon Stadium," Samus said. The rumbling stopped, followed by the flashing beeping, and Samus was now on the arm of a windmill, as fountains held platforms aloft. "Great. Water stage." She clicked her Arm Cannon, and looked up. Joe was double-jumping onto the windmill. "Eat Light beam." Samus blasted the multicolored beam at Joe, who dodged.

"Ahh! That's really bright!" Joe fell off the windmill, hanging onto his arm by one hand. In addition, the arm Joe was hanging on had ignited. "That burns… what's burning my hand? I can't see!" Joe dropped to the next arm of the windmill, which Samus also set ablaze with the Light beam. "Oh crap!" Joe hit the pier below the windmill and shook his head. He still saw spots. Samus charged her Light beam and fired, and the resulting scattershot Light blast lit a circle of flames on the wooden boardwalk around Joe. "She's vicious!" Joe ran through the flames at mach speed, extinguishing them, and jumped onto one of the water-suspended platforms.

Samus switched to her Ice beam and fired several shots at the water column under Joe's platform. The pillar of water hardened into ice, cracked, and broke. Joe's platform fell back, and Joe fell into the ankle-deep water. He got up. "Don't you let up?" Samus responded by switching to her Dark beam and firing. The dark, star-shaped energy smoked as it hit Joe's tights, and Joe struggled to pull it off. As Joe was distracted, Samus charged the Dark beam and fired. The resulting Entangler blast zoomed at Joe. "Not this time. SLOW!" Joe kicked the blast, sending it high over Samus. "Right where I wanted it!"

"What are you talking about? You completely missed me, you drooling… oh." Samus looked up, and saw the Entangler blast smash into the main tower of the windmill. All the windmill's arms were now completely aflame, and the Entangler blast smashed the wheel free. "Nice-" Before Samus could finish complementing Joe, the burning windmill wreckage crashed down on her, burying her.

"Yeah! I won! W00t!" Joe yelled. Suddenly, a familiar Morph Ball zoomed from the wreckage. "She's REALLY good!" Samus rolled between Joe's legs, laying a bomb. Joe jumped away, and Samus uncurled.

"I didn't want to have to use my best weapon on you…" Samus said, shaking her head. "But you've left me no choice." She clicked her cannon to Annihilator beam, and began to fire. The shots, which looked like a black sphere with a white comet tail, shot straight toward Joe.

"Hah! That won't work anymore! Slow!" Joe deflected all the blasts back at Samus, but they all slowed to a stop and accelerated back toward Joe. "That is a nice weapon," Joe muttered. Then he screamed as the shots bombarded him. "I can bomb people too, you know," Joe panted. He held up a fist. "COME ON SIX MACHINE!" The Six Machine, Joe's signature vehicle, flew toward the stadium in the form of a stealth bomber. A bomb launched from it, and the torpedo-like warhead zoomed straight toward Samus. Samus responded by silently launching a charged Annihilator shot straight up. The warhead began to wobble. "What gives?" Joe asked.

"The Annihilator beam has strong sonic properties," Samus explained. "It's destroying the homing capabilities of that bomb." The bomb crashed into what was left of the windmill, destroying it. Samus was still closer to the blast, and she was knocked forward onto her hands and knees. Joe took the opening with a sliding kick, knocking Samus back.

"**Nice work, you two,**" Master Hand said irritably. "**It'll take me a month to fix the Water Stage.**"

The stage transformed back to normal, and Samus aimed the Annihilator at Joe. "Ready to finish this?" She began charging a blast to full capacity. Joe took an odd hero pose and stood ready. _Whatever trick he has, _Samus thought,_ it won't stop a fully charged blast_. She fired the shot straight at Joe. "Eat DISRUPTOR!"

"Tag out!" Joe said hopping into the air. The rest of the world seemed to slow to a crawl, including the Disruptor blast. "You're in!"

"It's Silvia time!" A voice said. The Six Machine appeared, in the form of a large cannon with a seat. In said seat was Viewtiful Joe's female counterpart, Sexy Silvia. The cannon charged and fired… straight at Samus, obliterating the Disruptor blast on the way.

"SLOW!" Joe yelled, and the blast slowed down, growing in size as it did so.

"ZOOM IN!" Joe and Silvia yelled. The blast grew even more large and impressive, and Samus didn't move at all.

Finally, as the blast collided with Samus's Varia Suit, Silvia yelled, "REPLAY!" The giant shot connected once, twice, three times, and Samus flashed brightly. When the smoke cleared, Joe and Silvia's V-Power had been spent, and they reverted to average Joe and Silvia. Samus was rooted in place, and her suit was crackling with electricity and twitching. "She's not getting up from that," Silvia said. She and Joe high-fived. Suddenly, Samus's head fell off. Nothing was underneath, and the rest of the Varia suit fell apart to reveal… an empty suit. "I thought there was an angry hunter chick in there!" Joe said.

"And now I'm out here." They turned around to see Samus in her tight blue Zero Suit, her blond hair flowing. She shot Silvia with plasma pistol, and then flipped the pistol. It turned into a laser whip, and she swept it low, knocking Joe off his feet. As he fell, she leapt forward 15 feet and stomped Joe in the gut.

_She's really fast without that suit,_ Joe thought before passing out.

"I win," Samus said.

"**You bet you do,**" Master Hand said, "**But I'm grading the contestants on performance, not whether they won or lost. Joe might easily still become a Smasher. Now, retrieve the pieces of your suit so I can call in the next contestant.**"

**End of Chapter**

**Okay... Next chapter is Bowser versus... another established reptilian Nintendo villain!**

**By the way, I'm taking suggestions for challengers. Listing who you want them to fight is optional, since each Smasher will only fight once and I have plans for: Bowser, Link, Mewtwo, Luigi, Falco, and Young Link already. Other tips: a non-nintendo character will have to be pretty freaking popular, and don't suggest Final Fantasy characters. I already have one planned, so don't suggest freaking Cloud or Sephiroth. I'm not using them because I haven't played FF7, not out of hate for the Final Fantasy series, but because I don't have any Sony systems and don't plan to. Also, no Kingdom Hearts characters. Disney characters don't count as video game characters, sorry, and the rest are Final Fantasy characters.**


	3. Chapter 3

**avatar: Wow. People are loving this fic, and that makes me happy. For chapter 2, I have gotten the highest rate of reviews to hits for any of my fics ever. That makes me happy. This fandom is a great audience. Zombie Roy, do the disclaimer while I get all misty-eyed.**

**Zombie Roy: Avatarjk137 does not own the Super Smash Bros. franchise, or any game franchise mentioned here. He only owns the story, people. Does anybody have a staple gun so I can put Zombie Pichu's head back on?**

**avatar: I certainly don't. Now without further ado...**

**Chapter 3**

**Bowser Vs. Meta-Ridley**

"Way to go, Samus!" Captain Falcon yelled as Samus gathered up her Varia Suit parts and walked into the crowd. Years ago, Captain Falcon would've grabbed her ass. Years ago, Captain Falcon was hospitalized for months and needed a pancreas transplant. Years ago, Captain Falcon learned better, as did all the other Smashers.

"**Excellent. Well then,**" Master Hand said as he scooped up Joe and Silvia and dumped them where the other Smashers were standing, "**When they awaken, they can watch the rest of the fights. Our next contestant is a famous Space Pirate leader. Give it up for… Meta Ridley!**" A large, shining, metallic, draconic creature with a pteranadon-esque flew down from the sky and landed on one of the platforms. The creature let out a feral roar and flapped it's large, orange-membraned wings.

Samus turned angrily and began shouting at Master Hand. "You can't be serious! I had to have my fight with Joe-the-Joker here and you had Meta-FUCKING-RIDLEY waiting to test out? You know I want to kill Meta Ridley!"

"**Silence! I told you, each contestant must be fought by a similar Smasher! Besides, you're too worn out now. I need another reptilian, powerful, villainous mastermind to fight Ridley!**"

"I wouldn't exactly say he's a _Mastermind-_" Samus began with a snort.

"**SILENCE AGAIN! Do not talk back to ME, Samus! BOWSER shall be the one to fight Meta Ridley!**"

"Yeah, okay!" Bowser jumped onto Ridley's opposing platform. "I've been just ITCHIN' for a fight! Mario, watch! Watch the moves that will BRING YOU DOWN!"

"Yeah, Bowser. Sure-a. Whatever." Mario dismissively waved, causing Luigi and Yoshi to snicker.

"Grrr.."

"**Now! I will not outlaw anything, not even biting below the nonexistent belt! COMMENCE SMASHING!**" Master Hand blasted his finger like a starting pistol.

Bowser immediately inhaled deeply and launched a wave of fire breath at Meta Ridley, who replied in kind with plasma breath. The two fiery attacks collided, and Bowser was knocked back by the explosion. "Okay, so that's not your average fire breath attack. Well, I can do more than that!" Bowser jumped at Ridley's platform, claws outstretched. "EAT KOOPA KLAW!" Boswer slammed forward with his claws, and Ridley blocked with his own. Although Bowser's claws were slowly crushing Ridley's inward, Ridley refused to give ground. "Not bad…" Bowser admitted grudgingly.

Suddenly, Ridley roared, and his tail lashed out, smacking Bowser hard across the face and knocking him back. Ridley stretched his wings and took to the air. Bowser got up and breathed a fireball at Ridley, but the skinnier dragon easily dodged. Meta Ridley flew to the edge of the arena, than turned around. Missile launchers opened up on his shoulder blades, at the base of his wings. As Ridley strafed by Bowser, he blanketed the Koopa King in missiles. The smoke cleared to reveal Bowser coming out of his shell, which was burnt. "That was tough!" He saw Ridley coming around for another pass. "OH no you don't!" He breathed several fireballs at Ridley, but they were all nimbly dodged. "Agile little bastard…" Another round of missiles pounded the arena, and Bowser retreated into his shell again.

When the smoke cleared, he turned to see Ridley go for another pass. "LIGHT-FREAKING-BULB!" Bowser immediately initiated his idea. He reared up and breathed a massive cloud of fire into the sky, and Ridley ducked under. However, it began to rain fire around him. He dodged the fireballs, but a few blue fireballs homed in on him and hit him. He accidentally lost control and flew up into the main cloud of fire, roaring. "YEAH!" Bowser yelled. "Strike!" Ridley came careening down toward Bowser, his wing membrane burned off. Bowser pulled his head back, and slammed his horned skull into Ridley's in a massive headbutt. Bowser roared in triumph as Ridley rolled back, and struggled to his feet. "What? Still going?"

Ridley nodded, and then charged forward with a snarl. Bowser charged forward as well, but Ridley was faster, and Bowser found himself knocked back on his spiny shell. "Ow." He rolled back to his feet, only to have Ridley tail-whip him across the face, knocking a sharp tooth out. "BASTARD!" Bowser grabbed Ridley's tail and bit down on it. Ridley roared and breathed plasma in Bowser's face, knocking him back. "Feral little-" Bowser got up, and was whipped away again by Ridley's tail. "Grr!"

Ridley reared back and breathed plasma again, but this time Bowser was ready. "Whirling Fortress time!" Bowser tucked into his shell, began to spin at high speeds, and coasted through the plasma breath. Finally, he reached Ridley, his shell now red-hot, and sucked the cyborg dragon painfully in. Ridley was finally pulled loose, and crashed into the ground. "How you like me NOW?!" Bowser jumped into the air, and landed heavily on Ridley as he was getting up, crushing him back down. "OH yeah!" Bowser stood with one clawed foot on Ridley's chest and began to slash at his face, but was blasted away by another stream of plasma. Ridley got up, claw marks marring his silver-black paint job, and snarled.

"What? You think you can beat me, ptery?" Bowser laughed. Suddenly, the stage began to change to Earth. "Okay, bring it!" Ridley leapt forward, and Bowser grabbed him with his claws, bit him, and then slammed him against a stone wall that had formed behind him. Ridley peeled himself off the wall just in time to be slammed back into it by Bowser's vicious headbutt. Bowser then punched Ridley in the face a few times, and was about to headbutt him again, when another stream of plasma blasted him back.

---

"I'm impressed Bowser's doing so well," Samus said.

"I'm impressed _Ridley's _doing so well," Mewtwo argued. "Bowser's used to taking all kinds of punishment, and dishing it out just as well. Ridley, on the other hand, seems to be taking everything Bowser hands him with minimal damage… except for his wings back there."

"Meta Ridley must be made of something pretty hard," Fox agreed.

"This is GREAT!" Joe cried, having just woken up. "How much are the tickets to see these fights? Or the DVDs?"

"Joe…" Silvia whined. "You look like an idiot."

"**Well,"** Master Hand said thoughtfully, **"You can get tickets to the Smash Tournaments for $500 to $1,200 dollars, depending on the seats. OR you can buy each Tournament's highlight reel DVD a month after for $50. Of course, if you become Smashers, you can get it all for free. All you have to do is be in some of those fights."**

"I bet I did good enough to get in!" Joe cried victoriously, punching the air. Silvia rubbed her temples and groaned. Joe could be so childish…

---

Meta Ridley and Bowser leapt at each other, claws outstretched. The claws _clanged_ against each other, setting off sparks. The two turned to each other again, and Bowser charged at Ridley. Ridley crouched down, then charged forward himself, but this time Bowser was ready for Ridley's high-speed dash. "Oh no you don't!" Bowser veered to the left, and Ridley zoomed right past him. Bowser then jumped right, and crushed Ridley under his shoulder. "Eat that!" Ridley rolled loose, and slammed Bowser with his tail, then jumped onto Bowser's stomach and began trying to tear his throat out. Bowser slammed his skull into Ridley's, and pushed him off.

"You're going down!" Bowser raised his claw, and a dark flame encircled it. "I've been getting back in practice with my black magic skills!" Bowser reached down and grasped Ridley's right leg with his burning claw, and began to pull. Ridley breathed plasma in his face, but Bowser closed his eyes and held on. Finally, with the scream of metal tearing, Ridley's leg snapped off at the hip. Bowser laughed savagely and began to bludgeon Ridley over the head with his own leg.

---

"Only in a villain fight," Captain Falcon muttered, shaking his head. Jigglypuff covered her eyes.

---

"**Ridley,**" Master Hand called as Bowser continued to deliver savage leg-club beat-down, "**Would you like to surrender?**" Ridley shook his dented head. "**Suit yourself.**" Ridley wrapped his long tail around Bowser's feet and snapped them together, causing the huge turtle to fall down and drop Ridley's leg. As Bowser began to get up, Ridley pointed his remaining leg at Bowser's face and roared. The leg was launched from its socket, catching Bowser off-guard and knocking him across the stadium and into the large earth wall. Ridley rolled onto his belly and stretched his wings. The membrane between the wings grew back, and Ridley took to the air again.

"Crap!" Bowser said as he got up and rubbed his sore jaw, "he took to the sky again! He even left his legs behind!" Ridley turned and soared towards the arena, his missile launchers popping out again. "Why does this happen?" Bowser breathed a few fireballs, which Ridley easily dodged, and then dove under the wall for cover as Ridley blanketed the stage in missiles. "Ha! Missed!" Ridley craned his head under his chest, and fired plasma breath back at Bowser, catching him in the gut. "Crap." Bowser rolled to his feet as Ridley took a 180 and soared back toward the arena. "Eat double black magic bombs!" Bowser conjured a sphere of dark energy in each claw, and threw them forward. The two spheres formed a double helix, spiraling toward Ridley. Ridley blasted the spheres with plasma breath, and fired more missiles. The black magic bombs were neutralized, and Bowser ducked behind the rocks to avoid the missiles.

"Nyah!" Bowser stuck his tongue out at the passing Ridley, careful to stay mostly behind the rocks. "Your missiles can't destroy my cover!" Suddenly, the stage beeped and changed back to the bare, blank neutral stage. "Not cool." Ridley shot more plasma breath at Bowser, and he jumped out of the way just in time, leaving a scorch mark on the stage. "Looks like I'll have to unveil my ultimate new technique!" Bowser tucked into his shell and began to spin in place, first slowly, then faster and faster. Ridley turned, and concentrated a full round of missiles on Bowser, but due to Bowser's extreme rotation speed, the missiles were cut to ribbons just before touching his shell. Ridley reared back, charging a powerful blast of plasma in his mouth, then launched it forward. The blast smacked into Bowser's shell, and the resulting explosion launched the shell sky-high.

---

"Looks like the end for Bowser, that ultimate technique didn't work," Marth said.

"Hold up," Falco said, looking through binoculars. "That wasn't his ultimate technique. Look _closely _at his shell."

Zelda snatched the binoculars from Falco and looked _closely_. "Wait… that shell… it's empty!"

---

The shell stopped in midair. Suddenly, a chain extended from the center of what had been the belly of Bowser's shell, shooting straight towards Meta Ridley. Ridley easily dodged the chain, but the figure behind him caught it. Ridley turned with a growl, and slowed to a stop in the air, flapping in place.

Behind him, also flapping in place, was Bowser. Under his shell, he had been concealing a massive pair of bat-like wings. "Oh yeah!" Bowser said. "You wish you had abs like this!" He yanked on the chain, and the shell was pulled toward him, smashing Ridley on the back. "HERE'S my ultimate technique!" He caught the shell, and threw it straight up, where it began to spin. "Whirling MORNINGSTAR!" Bowser swung the chain, and the whirling shell dropped toward Meta Ridley. Although he tried to fly away, the force of the shell sucked him in, wrapping him around the shell and causing massive damage to his metal skin. Bowser swung the shell around a few times, then brought it spinning to the ground, crushing Ridley underneath the spikes and shattering the chain. Finally, Bowser dive-bombed onto the shell butt-first, driving the spikes deeper into Ridley and causing oil and blood to leak out all around the shell.

"**Good work, Bowser. I believe you actually _killed_ your opponent. That is quite an impressive ultimate technique.**"

"Well, it was him or me," Bowser said with a grin as he pulled his shell out of Ridley with a squelching noise and put it back on, hiding his wings again. "What do you think I had under there? An undershirt like all the other Koopas? Come on…"

Suddenly, a team of Elite Space Pirates teleported onto the stage. "Don't worry Master Hand, we can rebuild him by the start of the Brawl tournament. Stronger. Faster. Less… kill-able."

"**That's IF I let him in,**" Master Hand reprimanded. "**He did perform quite well, but it seems he underestimated Bowser a bit.**"

"Yessir."

---

Bowser leapt onto the audience platform. "You're next," he said, pointing to Mario, who scowled and nodded. Luigi nearly passed out.

"Good work," somebody said behind him. Bowser turned to see Wario offering his hand for a handshake, with Solid Snake, Meta Knight, and Pit behind him. Wario grinned and offered his hand even more toward Bowser. Bowser responded by snapping the joy buzzer off Wario's hand and flicking it into his nose, causing Wario to grab his nose in pain. "OW!"

"Idiot," Bowser laughed.

"How come we didn't notice you there before?" Donkey Kong said suspiciously to Wario and the other new Smashers.

"I'm just SO stealthy, even people associated with me sneak under people's radars," Snake announced in a dramatic really loud whisper.

**End of Chapter**

**Snake is just THAT stealthy.**

**Join us next chapter, when Link gets to fight a certain Blue Rogue. Anybody who's played the game will know exactly who I'm talking about.**


	4. Chapter 4

**avatarjk137: Welcome back! It's now past the initial three chapters, so anyone here is probably with me to the BITTER END! Mmm... bitter. Anyway, anybody who guessed Vyse of Skies of Arcadia and Skies of Arcadia: Legends is totally correct. And I'm using his ultimate non-secret title here. Now here's Meta Knight with the disclaimer.**

**Meta Knight: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros. or any other video game franchise. He only owns the contents of this story. Sorry, I won't be fighting in this fic, but if you want to see me in action, check out Game-Tycoon's work...**

**avatar: (Smacks across head) Stop advertising yourself! And stop advertising my worthy rivals!**

**Chapter 4**

**Link vs. Vyse**

"**Now, our next contestant,**" Master Hand began. "**He's an Air Pirate, but I think you'll find him quite different from the Space Pirate we just watched Bowser fight. Please welcome Vyse, King of Rogues!**" A sailing ship… flew over the Pokemon Stadium, and down from it dropped a young man. He wore a blue jacket, black pants, and leather boots. A small scar decorated his left cheek, and a clear glass eyepatch covered his right eye. His hair and eyes were both brown, and he wielded a pair of swords. The one in his right hand he handled like a normal cutlass, but the one in his left hand he wielded like a tonfa. "**So, Vyse, you know why you are here?**"

"Yeah," Vyse responded. "I'm here for a good challenging fight. It's been kinda dull for me ever since I took down this Ramirez guy."

"**Sounds promising. Now, Vyse is a swordsman, so let's get a swordsman up here. Link! You shall be Vyse's opponent.**" Link nodded, and with almost no noise, double-jumped onto the main platform, then onto the starting platform opposite Vyse. Like Samus, Link rarely talked, and now was no exception. He only drew his Master Sword and Hylian Shield, and got into position to fight Vyse. "**It appears both combatants are ready to start, so without further ado… BEGIN!**"

Wasting no time, Link switched to his bow and arrows and began shooting. Vyse dodged the first arrow, and the second, but the third grazed him. "OW! I can't just sit here and let him shoot at me…" Vyse got into a Counterstrike stance. "Bring it on!"

---

"What's that idiot doing?" Marth snorted. "He can't counterstrike a ranged attack. I've tried. And where did he learn to use a sword? Johnny Depp?"

"Shut up, Marth!" Peach hit him over the head with a frying pan. "I like Johnny Depp! He's a good actor!"

---

Link shot another arrow, and Vyse raised his swords up. The arrow clanged harmlessly off the blade, and Vyse whipped his sword forward. A wave of force came out of the blade and shot toward Link, who hurriedly whipped out his shield and blocked it.

---

"See?" Peach said with a smile. "I guess he just knows better counterattacks then you, Marth. Marth grumbled something about first Roy, now this.

"SHHH!" Zelda gestured to the stadium. "Link's going to do this new attack he showed me. Watch!"

---

Link whipped out his bow again. This time, his arrow ignited in the bow, and he launched the Fire Arrow on a very high trajectory. Vyse watched the arrow sail straight up. "Where's that headed?" He was so busy watching the Fire Arrow, he didn't notice Link shoot the Ice Arrow at his foot, pinning his leg to the ground in a block of ice. "Uh-oh." Vyse watched as the arrow completed its arc, and dropped back towards him, burning brightly now. Vyse glanced at Link's grin, and then carefully parried the Fire Arrow. "See? I could still… block… it." Vyse was stunned to see the Bomb Arrow fly towards his chest, knocking him clear of the platform, and shattering the ice brick. Link grinned again and put away the bow, but saw Vyse leap back to the platform.

"My turn for a ranged attack!" Vyse yelled. "Moons, give me strength… ELECTRES!" A beam of electricity coursed toward Link, and Link whipped out his Mirror Shield. The beam bounced off the beautiful mirrored surface of the shield, and Vyse jumped over his own reflected magic. "Okay then, try this! Moons, give me strength… CRYSTALUM!" A huge block of ice formed around Link, trapping him in place. "That was for the Ice Arrow!" As the ice around Link began to crumble, Vyse started to charge his mana again. "Alright, one more! Moons, give me strength… PYRULEN!" A massive firestorm conjured around Link, fire raining down around him. Link screamed in pain, then dropped to the Stadium's Main Platform, as did the flames. Actually, what was happening was the stage changing to the Fire Stage, but it looked like the Pyrulen spell was spreading. Link got up, and Vyse landed in front of him, both panting with strain.

"Alright," Vyse said, "enough magic, and enough tricks. Time for the real thing." Link nodded, returning to his Hylian shield and sword. Vyse dashed forward first, and their blades clashed together. Vyse then brought his other sword forward, and Link ducked under it. He then rammed his shield into Vyse's chest, causing him to stumble back. Link took his opening for a Skull Splitter; he flipped forward over Vyse's head, intending to connect his sword to Vyse's noggin. Vyse recovered quickly and saw the attack, however, and brought his sword up to block, causing sparks to rain around him. He then quickly turned and parried Link's subsequent attack from behind, and clashed swords with Link again. Link jumped to the side this time, and rolled again to that side, getting behind Vyse again. Vyse predicted Link's attack, and both jumped up in a spinning sword attack at the same time, sparks erupting from their blades on contact at several points during their upward spirals.

Vyse landed on the roof of a burning house, and Link landed on the thickest branch of a burning tree. Vyse pulled his sword back, and lashed it forward, causing another wave of force to erupt from the blade. Link drew a bomb, jumped over the attack, and threw the bomb. Vyse also jumped up and away from the bomb, and both met in midair, clashing blades again. The bomb caved in the roof of the house, and the force wave chopped the top off the tree. Both landed on the ground, then turned to each other again.

"HAA!" Link pulled something like a large spinning top out of his apparently magical pockets and laid it on the ground, then jumped on. It spun and hopped a little, but didn't really do anything.

"What's that supposed to _do?_" Vyse asked, pointing to the Spinner.

Link shrugged, and then he spoke for the first time that day. "I dunno. It almost never does _anything_. To be honest, I don't even know why I carry it around." He kicked it away.

"MY TURN! Haaaa…" Vyse's swords began to glow blue. He jumped at Link and began to slash repeatedly at him. Link was barely able to block with his shield. Vyse's fourth slash in the combo sent him leaping straight into the air. "CUTLASS FURY!" He came down with both swords, shattering Link's Hylian shield. Link gasped and jumped back as Vyse panted, trying to catch his breath.

---

"No frigging way," Ganondorf said. "Breaking Link's shield? I so have to remember that."

---

Link backflipped away, and Vyse watched with curiosity what he was going to do. Link threw his Gale Boomerang, and Vyse saw it conjure a tornado as it flew toward him on a curved path. "Yikes!" Vyse yelped. "Can't let that reach me!" He pulled back his sword and unleashed a force wave, knocking the Gale Boomerang to the ground. "HA!" As he turned back to Link, a Clawshot head dug into his chest. "Ow…" Vyse said uncomfortable. Link began to reel the Clawshot in, and Vyse dug in so he wouldn't be yanked to Link.

Link grinned as he flew toward Vyse instead. He drew his sword in his free hand, and screamed in triumph as he flew toward Vyse. _Come on, Vyse, think fast!_ "Pirates of old, DEFEND OUR CAUSE!" Vyse yelled nervously, as small pillars of light appeared around him. As the Master Sword was about to shear Vyse's head from his shoulders, a saber appeared to block it. The saber was wielded by a massive skeletal pirate captain. After blocking the sword, he proceeded to counter-slash Link, sending him back. Link rolled away, and the destroyed Fire stage changed back to neutral.

"**That's it,**" Master Hand muttered aloud, "**After this, Pokemon Stadium is closed for repairs.**"

Vyse was focusing as Link slowly got up. Link wiped some sweat off his face, pulled out his Mirror Shield to go with his Master Sword, and charged Vyse again. Vyse blocked Link's sword, then dodged his shield bash, but wasn't expecting Link to knee him in the gut. Vyse fell over on his back, and Link leapt into the air, preparing to plant his sword into Vyse's chest. Vyse rolled away, but Link quickly switched to his bow and planted a Fire Arrow into Vyse point-blank. Vyse yelled in pain and pulled the burning arrow out of his chest, only to dodge two more arrows. Link grinned, notched three arrows at once, and let fly. One of the arrows caught Vyse in the shoulder, and another in the ankle. Vyse struggled to his feet as Link drew his sword again and walked towards him.

"That's enough…" Vyse said.

"**You're surrendering?**"

"You misunderstood me. I only said, THAT'S ENOUGH! BLUE ROGUES… ATTACK!" Like magic, Link suddenly found himself surrounded by a crew of over two dozen pirates consisting of all types of people: snot-nosed children, midgets, younger women, older women, a Japanese princess-type woman, ex-military-type-men, a hobo, an explorer, a mercenary, an alchemist, an old sword-smith… and many more. Most of them began to beat up on Link in various indescribable ways, but some fed Vyse, healed Vyse, gave Vyse money, and so on. Suddenly, something exploded. When the smoke cleared, Vyse was grinning innocently, fully healed, and sitting on a treasure chest. Link was badly wounded, lying on the ground, burned and bleeding. "Do I win or something?"

"**Yes, I think you do…**"

"No… No he doesn't…" Link was slowly standing up, a fairy encircling him and healing all his wounds.

"He's using some kind of fairy!" Vyse yelled. "That's not fair… is it?"

"It's a little fairer than you siccing about THIRTY… FUCKING… PIRATES on me!"

Vyse sweatdropped. "Oh yeah."

"I'm going all out!" Link whipped himself into a spin attack. The Master Sword pulsed with power, and a massive horizontal wave of force lashed out in all directions, knocking Vyse backward off the treasure chest and knocking his swords onto one of the higher platforms. Link ran forward, jumped, landed on the treasure chest, prepared to jump again… but suddenly, the treasure chest exploded. Link landed hard on his back, and Vyse jumped and grabbed his swords.

"I should've warned you, that treasure chest contained some ammo for my ship."

Link yelled angrily and jumped forward. He whipped his sword forward horizontally, but Vyse ducked under the blade and sliced at Link, who jumped away. Link angrily threw down his sword and ran at Vyse screaming.

---

"Has Link lost his mind?" Meta Knight asked curiously.

"Yeah, I guess so…" Mario said.

---

Vyse prepared to chop Link up, but as he approached, Link's scream turned into a howl. Link suddenly shapeshifted into a wolf and jumped at Vyse. Vyse was so surprised he dropped his guard, and Link's claws raked across his arm. Link turned and jumped again, clawing Vyse as he passed. Link turned and tensed up, and a dome of energy appeared around Link, expanding to contain Vyse. In a flurry of fangs and claws, Vyse was torn up and flung through the air.

"No choice," Vyse said as he rolled to his feet on landing. "I have to end this NOW!" His swords began to glow again, and the stage transformed, apparently into the surface of the moon. "Behold…" Vyse raised his larger sword, and a massive ball of electricity formed on the blade. He slashed the sword, and the ball lightning slammed into Link's wolfen form, paralyzing it. Vyse then flew in a beeline toward Link. "PIRATE'S WRATH!" he screamed, slashing his blades in an X-shape. The attack left a wound reminiscent of a skull-and-crossbones on Link's chest, and they both landed back on Pokemon Stadium's solid ground, only Vyse standing. Link shapeshifted back to human, now unconscious.

"**I think I can say now that this match is over,**" Master Hand announced. "**The winner is Vyse!**" Massive cheers erupted from the Smashers. This was the first challenger to defeat his Smasher, and Link was never an easy fight. It wasn't like fighting one of the Ice Climbers without the other.

Vyse leapt over to the audience's platform. "That was the best fight I've had in months!" Vyse yelled happily.

Everybody shook his hand, even Marth. "You… you're alright," he said, avoiding eye contact.

Suddenly, everybody looked over Vyse's shoulder. Vyse turned around and saw Link, now conscious again, landing on the platform behind him. Link reached forward… and shook Vyse's hand. "Good game. I've got another good rival swordsman. And… I need a new shield." He walked over and began talking to Zelda about something meaningful.

**_He did well,_** Master Hand thought to himself as he restrained Crazy Hand for the seventh time that day. **_They all did well. I wonder if we'll see a contestant I DON'T want as a new Smasher._**

**End of Chapter**

**Well, I couldn't have the Smashers win every fight. Besides, Vyse seemed like he really could've won this one, in my opinion.**

**Next fight: Luigi fights another famous cap-wearing sidekick, and this one is furry!**

**After that in chapter 6, you get to vote! Would you like '1). Zelda fights another hot transforming blonde girl, but this one's a real beast!', or '2). Mewtwo fights an Earth Adept, a foe who is a psychic AND a swordsman!'? It all depends on you readers, so get to voting via review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**avatar: Okay everybody. Today we have a vicious, tooth-and-nail battle of sidekicks. This one was a bit harder to write, Luigi doesn't have a ton of tricks that flow into a nine-page fight scene as easily as Link, Vyse, or the others. Here's Wario with the disclaimer... and a large Whoopie Cushion.**

**Wario: (Nervously hiding the giant Whoopie Cushion behind his back) no idea what-a yer talking about. avatarjk137 doesn't own-a Super Smash-a Bros. or any other-a video games mentioned here.**

**Chapter 5**

**Luigi vs. Diddy Kong**

"**Your attention please,**" Master Hand called. Everybody turned to the giant gloved appendage to hear his next words. "**I feel a certain threshold of damage has been dealt to this arena that we must move to a new locale and close this one for repairs. Please exit thru the warp gate, and proceed to the Battlefield gate.**" The Smashers and new contestants filed out, quiet with anticipation. As Mario turned back one last time before taking the gate as the last one out, he noticed the Wireframes working on the damage. He did a double take when he noticed they were taking pieces off old Fighting Polygons and using them to reconstruct the stage.

---

"**Thank you. Now, without further ado, let me present. One of everybody's favorite sidekicks… Diddy Kong!**" Diddy backflipped down onto the top platform and began waving with both hands. He was a small, brown-furred monkey with a red cap and a red shirt.

"Hey everybody! I'm glad I was invited this time! Donkey, how are you doing?!"

"I'm great!" Donkey Kong replied. He grabbed a banana and threw it to Diddy, who screeched happily and caught it.

"**Well… yes… anyhow, Diddy's only proper opponent is our resident senior sidekick, Luigi!**" Luigi blushed briefly as the spotlight shone on him.

"Go on, Luigi!" Mario grabbed Luigi's leg, spun him around, and threw him to the middle of the central platform where he landed unsteadily on his feet.

"**I grow impatient… COMMENCE!**"

"Right!" Diddy immediately dropped through the floor, and came falling quickly towards Luigi, all four 'hands' extended and ready to grab. Luigi, however, quickly spun into a Luigi Cyclone, bashing Diddy away. Diddy flipped and landed on his feet, then began to build up steam by running in place. In response, Luigi crouched into position and built up energy. Luigi released his Green Missile attack at the same time Diddy initiated the Chimpy Charge, and they both knocked heads near the center of the arena. Both of them landed hard on their backs, clutching their skulls and moaning.

Luigi got up first and quickly began shooting off green fireballs. The flaming emerald orbs slowly glided across the arena toward the recovering Diddy, eerie in their immunity to gravity. Diddy got up and jumped over the fireballs, pulling out a pair of what appeared to be wooden pistols. He took aim and began to fire, and peanuts began to rapidly fly at Luigi, who fell over on his back while attempting to duck under them in a blatant Matrix ripoff.

---

"They're just peanuts," Wario muttered. "Why is Luigi dodging them?"

"You don't-a understand!" Mario yelled anxiously. "Luigi is-a LETHALLY ALLERGIC to peanuts!"

"Really?" Bowser asked curiously.

---

Luigi yelped as a peanut grazed his nose. The peanuts were actually only an allergy if he swallowed them, but they were traveling at over seventy miles per hour, so they stung like all hell if they hit him. He flipped back to his feet. "I like-a my peanuts ROASTED!" He shot out a green fireball, which disintegrated all the peanuts it hit on its course. Diddy jumped over the fireball, but Luigi had already jumped forward himself, and he took the opportunity to slam his fist into Diddy's face. Diddy moaned and rolled to a stop. Luigi ran toward him, his fists swinging wildly. Diddy struggled to his feet and ducked under Luigi, using his tail to pull Luigi's feet out from under him. Diddy then backflipped onto Luigi's back, landing shoulder-first, and began to slap at Luigi's face.

"Time to get-a this monkey off my back!" Luigi cried, grabbing Diddy's tail. He swung Diddy around in a circle several times before releasing him. Diddy was thrown across the platform before regaining control in midair. As soon as he did, however, Luigi's feet slammed into his face as Luigi drill-kicked Diddy into the floor. Luigi rolled back, and then swung his feet in a circle around him, slamming Diddy back into the air and out of the platform's airspace. Diddy groaned and opened his eyes only to see Luigi jump above him again, ready to slam him down into a bottomless pit of NO return.

---

"Luigi sure is vicious today," Donkey Kong said nervously. He was really hoping Diddy would get in.

"He's-a been hoping to fight today," Mario admitted. "He wants to-a take home that 'Most Improved' Award for-a the third time in a row this year!"

"Ah, that explains it," Mewtwo said, nodding in satisfaction. He loved to learn the reason why things happened.

---

Diddy scowled. He wasn't about to lose, not so quickly after all these other fights had been so epic. He had seen them all on a huge screen in some sort of waiting room. He would do Donkey proud. He would defeat Luigi. He would certainly deliver a fight worth watching.

Diddy's Jetbarrel appeared on his back, and began to fire up. His determined face angled down, and the Jetbarrel exploded with energy. Diddy's skull slammed into Luigi's gut, knocking him back onto one of the side platforms. Diddy zoomed across the main platform and grabbed his dropped Peanut Popguns. Meanwhile, Luigi flipped and landed on his feet, sliding as usual. _I really need shoes with more traction,_ he thought to himself. Diddy began circling him with the Jetbarrel, occasionally shooting him with peanuts. Luigi tried to shoot fireballs, but Diddy was moving far too quickly to hit. And even if Luigi shot the fireballs at where Diddy was going to be, Diddy simply flew out of the way.

"That's it!" Luigi yelled. He pulled a suitcase… out of his pocket. The suitcase landed on the ground and flipped open, exposing a vacuum. But not just any vacuum, a world-class Gadd Technology ghost-catching vacuum. Luigi strapped the Poltergust 3000 to his back, and took aim. He sucked in a bunch of peanuts being shot at him, and Diddy simply temporarily stopped shooting to reload. Luigi then shot a fireball up into the air, and then sucked it into the Poltergust. He then turned toward Diddy, flipped the Poltergust to 'Blow', and fired. Several flaming peanuts slammed into Diddy at high speed, knocking him to the ground.

"Lucky shot," Diddy groaned. He struggled to his feet, and saw Luigi run at him. He activated the Jetbarrel, zooming straight up, but Luigi was pulling him down with the vacuum. Due to Diddy's distance, the end result was him staying more or less in place suspended in midair, the suction and gravity pulling him down roughly equal to the thrust of the Jetbarrel pushing him up. Diddy tilted his head downward, thinking, then produced… an orange from under his cap. He dropped the orange, which was sucked into the vacuum. As the orange hit the 'mouth' of the vacuum, Diddy was able to escape. Then once the orange was inside the vacuum, it exploded, knocking Luigi away and damaging the Poltergust 3000. "How do you like my orange grenades?" Diddy taunted.

"A little pulpy," Luigi replied, his eyes rolling dangerously in his head. He shook his mind clear and shot some fireballs at Diddy. Diddy flipped over the flame and kicked Luigi in the head. Luigi's head snapped back painfully, but he grabbed Diddy by his leg and began to spin him around.

"No you don't!" Diddy panicked and activated his Jetbarrel, dragging both him and Luigi into the air. They began to careen dangerously around Battlefield's airspace, Diddy kicking Luigi's head with his free leg the whole time.

---

"This is pretty funny to watch," Captain Falcon stated from the sidelines.

"Pika pi," Pikachu agreed.

"Yeah, but then again- HEY!" Viewtiful Joe was interrupted by Luigi and Diddy Kong flying directly over their heads, nearly knocking Joe unconscious with Luigi's foot. "Watch where you're flying!"

"Pika pi chu chu kachu pikachu piKA!" Pikachu complained to Bowser.

"You little yellow rat, you know I don't speak Spanish," Bowser replied.

"KACHU!" Pikachu yelled in frustration.

"Jiggly!" Jigglypuff joined in.

"NO HABLO ESPANOL!"

---

Luigi gritted his teeth. He couldn't just keep getting dragged thru the air; he'd eventually lose his grip and fall off the stage. They were about to pass over the stage again, he should let go. But first… Luigi lit his hand full of green flame and slammed it into the Jetbarrel as he let go. He crashed to the top platform of Battlefield, but Diddy's Jetbarrel began to shake wildly, causing Diddy to dart around randomly like a mad butterfly. He zipped past Luigi, down to the bottom of the stage, and slammed into the energy-filled orb at the bottom of the main platform at maximum speed. He smashed right through the sphere and kept going, receiving electrical burns. Finally, Diddy detached himself from the Jetbarrel. He crashed down onto the arena, and the Jetbarrel continued into the air and exploded. The stage also began to shake and wobble dangerously.

---

"Now what?" Vyse asked.

"**Diddy accidentally destroyed the Master Orb of Battlefield,**" Master Hand explained. "**That orb is what keeps the stage stable in a space-time rift. Without it, the entire stage could soon fall into a black hole or be transported somewhere random in space-time. Or it could simply be ripped to shreds on a molecular level. I'm no scientist.**"

"WHAT?!" Mario and Donkey Kong cried at once. "My brother's on that-a platform!" Mario continued.

"**Yes, that is unfortunate.**"

"Stop-a the match! He could be killed!"

"**No. Sorry.**"

---

"Hy-YAH!" As Diddy got up, Luigi swept the monkey's feet out from under him, then slammed his skull into Diddy's chest, sending him into the air painfully.

"I won't lose today…" Diddy groaned as he was knocked back. He pulled out an Orange Grenade and chucked it at Luigi as he fell. Although Luigi dodged, Diddy stalled him successfully and was able to land on all fours. Luigi landed and ran forward again, but Diddy Kart Wheeled into him, knocking him back across the main platform. As Luigi landed, part of the stage exploded under him, knocking him onto a side platform and stunning him. Steam began to hiss from the stage in various places, and the shaking became more frequent.

_What's the point in fighting?_ Luigi asked himself. _I'll just lose again. I always lose. Luigi the Loser, that's what they should call me. No… No, I can't give up. I can win here! I have to! I have to get better than Mario someday!_ He got up, and slowly began to pull his glove back. As he did, it began to crackle with electricity, first a bit, then more intensely. "THUNDERHAND!" Luigi thrust his hand forward, and instead of green fire popping out, a bolt of bright lightning shot forth, slamming into Diddy.

Diddy rolled to his feet. "So you're ready to _rock?_ Fine then, so am I!" He pulled out an electric guitar and played a chord. A destructive wave of sound smashed into Luigi, knocking him to the edge of the stage. It also cracked the ground, widening the steam vents on the stage. Diddy dashed forward, racing around the steam vents, and bashed the recovering Luigi over the head with his guitar. Luigi was knocked off the arena, but held onto the edge with his hands. Diddy swung the guitar downward toward Luigi's fingers, but Luigi yanked himself up into the air and over Diddy and his attack. Luigi landed on the other side of Diddy, grabbed his tail, and began to spin him around, launching him back toward the other side of the stage. Luigi then shot a lighting bolt at the ground just under Diddy. The steam pent up inside the damaged stage exploded, knocking Diddy into the air and snapping the main platform violently in half.

---

"Why was the stage full of steam?" Peach asked innocently.

"**Because there was no room left in Poke Floats,**" Master Hand replied.

---

"AHH!" Diddy was hurled into the air like the cap on a bottle of Diet Coke filled with Mentos. As he was about to land on the top platform, something flaming and fast-moving smashed into his chest, knocking them both to a side platform instead. It was Luigi, whose Green Missile had misfired. Luigi and Diddy got up at the same time. "You crazy idiot!" Diddy screamed. "You almost killed us both with that lightning!" He tried to slam his guitar into the side of Luigi's head, but Luigi blocked the attack with his fist, knocking the guitar down off the platform.

The main platform had fallen away after snapping in half, leaving only the three small ones floating. Luigi's fists crackled with electricity again, and he punched Diddy in the face first with his right hand, then left, and finally, he brought his right upward, catching Diddy in the chin and sending them both into the air, and giving Diddy an extreme electric shock. "Thunder Jump Punch!" Luigi yelled, landing on the platform he had just jumped from. Diddy, however, went flying straight up screaming, beyond visibility.

"**I believe that makes Luigi the winner,**" Master Hand stated proudly. "**Good work, Luigi. You too, Did- eh, I'll tell him in a few hours when he lands. But we can't stay here for long, so we'll have the next match in the nearby Final Destination and hope he lands around there.**"

"I hope he's alright," Donkey Kong said worriedly as they all hurried to the Warp Gate.

"I don't," Bowser said in truthfully in a consoling tone, causing DK to give him a dirty look. "What? Honesty is the best policy, isn't it?"

**End of Chapter**

**The pent-up steam thing was a bad joke, I know. I had no better reason I could've come up with. On a side note, Bowser said in perfect Spanish that he doesn't speak Spanish. I personally think the Pokemon just talk that way to annoy people.**

**Next Chapter: Due to the ONE FREAKIN VOTE I got, Chapter 6 will be Mewtwo versus an Earth Adept. Thank you, ElementUchihaMaster. The other option will become Chapter 7, so sit tight.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Avatar: Hi there! Are you ready for my LONGEST FIGHT SCENE YET WRITTEN?! I know I am, 'cause I wrote it! This chapter weighed in at over 11 pages in Word pre-author's notes! Here's Pit with the disclaimer!**

**Pit: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros. or any other game franchise. He only owns the contents of this story. All of you who have played my game and/or haven't assumed I'm gay automatically, give yourselves a pat on the back! Go on, do it!**

**avatar: Indeed. At the end of the chapter, I have another poll to determine the order of certain fights. Hopefully I'll actually get votes this time.**

**Chapter 6**

**Mewtwo vs. Isaac**

"**As I said, it has come to my attention that this stage is definitely too destroyed to use as an arena again,**" Master Hand explained. He gestured to Battlefield, which was beginning to collapse into a black hole. "**Therefore, we shall be moving to Final Destination for our next match.**"

Peach raised her hand. "Question, mister Master Hand. Is the next match the final match?"

"**No.**"

"Will Final Destination be the final stage we're using?"

"**No.**"

"Then why are we going to Final Destination?"

"**I **_**like**_** Final Destination. So does Mewtwo, and he's fighting next.**"

"I am?" Mewtwo said.

"**Indeed.**" Suddenly Diddy Kong fell from the sky and crashed to the ground on DK. "**Ah, good, you're back. You're welcome to come with us and watch**." Diddy nodded, his eyes rotating dizzily. "**Everybody, to the Final Destination Gate!**"

---

"Where's my opponent?" Mewtwo asked impatiently. He was standing on one edge of Final Destination, and everybody else was watching from a distance except Master Hand, who was directly in front of him. _I really want to get this match over with,_ he thought.

"**You are ready, then? He's… right here!**" Master Hand lowered a red giant napkin from his hand, and when he pulled it up, somebody was underneath. Crickets chirped. "**Nobody appreciates my talent…**"

"Whatever," Mewtwo said, focusing on his opponent. He was a swordsman with spiky, strawberry-blonde hair, bluish light armor, a yellow split cape, a longsword in a leather sheath, and leather gloves, belt, and boots. He was wearing a pleasant smile that seemed a just a tad out of place at the beginning of a vicious, intense battle. "Why isn't Marth fighting this guy? They're both pretty-boy swordsmen."

"**Yes, but Isaac here is an Adept. This means that he has psychic powers that manifest elementally.**"

"Elementally? Then why didn't you have Ness fight him?" Mewtwo asked.

"**Because Ness is… I don't know, I just like you better.**"

"Fair enough.' Mewtwo got into a battle-ready stance, and Isaac did the same, drawing his blade. "You ready, fool?" Isaac nodded. _Great, another quiet one_.

"**Get to fighting!**" Master Hand yelled, backing off from the main platform. Mewtwo immediately began charging a Shadow Ball, and noticed Isaac making his move as well. Isaac took a deep breath, his eyes closed, seeming at one with his surroundings.

"Well, if you want to be at peace while I'm at war," Mewtwo said, "SO BE IT. Shadow Ball!" He released the fully charged dark orb, and it began to sail on its curved path toward Isaac.

Isaac opened his eyes and thrust out his free hand, which glowed golden-brown. "RAGNAROK!" he screamed clearly. The energy in his hand dissipated, and a huge sword made of the same energy appeared above Isaac, point-forward. It shot toward Mewtwo, but the Shadow Ball swung up into it, and the attacks canceled each other out in a colorful explosion. Mewtwo watched as the smoke cleared to see Isaac charging another attack with his brownish energy. "FLINT!" Isaac yelled. A small, cute creature appeared in front of Isaac, with a brown shell and solid blue eyes. Flint shot a blast of high-speed rock at Mewtwo.

"Detect," Mewtwo said calmly. As the rock was about to hit him, Mewtwo dodged right over it and landed on his feet. "SWORDS DANCE!" He spun in place, and as he did, six longswords appeared around him and spun. The swords were all pretty basic-looking, except they had Pokeball-shaped pommels.

---

"I didn't know Mewtwo could use Swords Dance," Bowser said.

"Mewtwo's always been jealous that the original Mew could use all Pokemon attacks," Ness explained. "He's been training for years to learn more and more of them. He's learned many of the most powerful attacks now, and powerful psychic that he is, when he uses Swords Dance, he creates actual swords out of thin air."

Bowser nodded, then looked at the popcorn tub in his claw and frowned. "I'm already out of popcorn? Oh man!" Then he looked at Ness and grinned. "Nessss… _you_ are looking _delicious _today."

Ness began to shift nervously. "Uh… thanks?"

---

"Are you ready, Earth Adept?" Mewtwo asked. Isaac nodded. "Good. Confusion!" The swords pointed forward and shot toward Isaac, who blocked the swords one after another with his own, knocking them up and away. Isaac then began to run toward Mewtwo, who used his telekinesis to grab two of the swords and pull them into his hands (paws?). He brought them forward and brought them in front of Isaac's sword. "Protect!" Now that he saw Isaac's sword up close, he noticed a red sun motif on it. "Not bad," Mewtwo acknowledged, pushing Isaac bad, "But not amazing. Slash!" He darted forward with a sword, but Isaac jumped back and avoided it. "Cut!" Mewtwo tried again, and this time, Isaac ducked under the blade, letting it cut off the tip of his hair, and stabbed forward. The blade clipped Mewtwo in the shoulder, and he groaned in pain. "Counter!" His blade lashed forward, slamming into Isaac's armor twice as hard as he had cut Mewtwo. It didn't break the armor, but it did knock him back.

Isaac got up. "NETTLE!" A wave of nettle plants popped up around Mewtwo, entangling him and stinging him. Mewtwo Teleported out of the plants' grip, appearing in front of Isaac. Suddenly, Isaac's blade began to vibrate and make noise.

"What?" Mewtwo asked rhetorically, staring at the blade. Suddenly, Isaac's blade let out a howl: MEGIDDO! Isaac leapt into the air and slashed downward, and a huge fireball dropped toward Mewtwo. "Oh, it's enchanted," Mewtwo said knowledgeably just before the fireball hit him, knocking him back. He floated to his feet. "You'll regret that!" He yelled, dashing forward with his poke-swords extended. "Faint Attack!" Mewtwo seemed to mirror himself, and the two Mewtwos slashed Isaac, knocking him back. Isaac got to his feet, a bit of blood seeping through the new cuts in his armor. He gestured, and the nettle plants shot toward Mewtwo again. "Come on… FLAMETHROWER!" Mewtwo burned all the plants away, and saw Isaac approaching from behind him.

"STEEL!" Isaac called. Immediately another creature, identical to the first one, appeared in front of Isaac. This one, however, jumped forward and kissed Mewtwo.

"What?" Mewtwo asked. "Why is… UGH!" Mewtwo fell to the ground, watching as his energy was sucked from his body and transferred first to the creature, then to Isaac. He saw the flow of blood from Isaac's armor stop immediately as the wound healed up. "Better than I thought," Mewtwo admitted as Steel disappeared. "But can you handle this? Psybeam!" A colorful beam shot from Mewtwo's forehead.

Isaac ducked under it. "Grand Gaia!" he replied, and the ground began to shake as waves of earth moved toward Mewtwo, knocking him into the air.

_It seems earth-based attacks and swordsmanship are all he can do,_ Mewtwo observed. _I wonder if I can use_… "Conversion!" Mewtwo's body shined for a moment. "Now I won't be heavily damaged by your attacks!" Mewtwo yelled. "And since I'm up here…" Mewtwo's body glowed red this time, getting brighter and brighter. "…Sky Attack!" Mewtwo dropped from the sky and dive-bombed Isaac blades-first. Isaac thrust his sword into the air to meet Mewtwo's. When Mewtwo hit Isaac, there was a small explosion.

"AGGHH!" Mewwtwo and Isaac were both thrown back, rolling to a stop on the ground, wounded. Mewtwo's swords were both broken, and Isaac's Sol Blade had been thrown to the edge of the arena. Mewtwo pulled himself up with his psychic powers. It hurt to think; even standing was a strain on his psyche. "Ugh… Recover!" A glowing light surrounded Mewtwo, and most of his wounds disappeared. He saw Isaac stumbling over to his sword. "Oh no you don't! THUNDERBOLT!" A blast of lightning erupted from Mewtwo's palm.

Isaac saw it coming. "Potent Cure!" Most of his own wounds were healed just before the bolt struck him, more than making up for the damage it dealt. Now in slightly better shape, he grabbed his sword.

"It doesn't matter," Mewtwo laughed. "Your Earth techniques can't harm me anymore, and I don't have to let you get close enough to use your sword."

"Psynergy…" Isaac said weakly.

"What?"

"My attacks," Isaac said, brightening up. "They're called Psynergy. And Earth may be my specialty, but I can call on the others! EPICENTER!" A huge column of flame appeared from underneath Mewtwo, launching him into the air. The flame took on a draconic appearance and coiled, turning to strike Mewtwo even higher into the air before dissipating. "DEATH LEAP!" Isaac leapt into the air, slashing Mewtwo as he passed him. Mewtwo coughed up blood, and rotated in midair to face Isaac, who was preparing another Psynergy. "PLUME EDGE!" A razor-sharp edge of water raced toward Mewtwo.

_I'll be damned if I let this kid beat me,_ Mewtwo thought. "Mirror Coat!" Mewtwo's body became metallic for a split-second just as the water blade hit him. Although he was still cut open and hurled painfully back to the stage, two Plume Edges appeared off of Mewtwo's reflective coat and shot back at Isaac.

"Uh-oh." The two blades hit Isaac simultaneously, hurling him backward from his midair position off of Final Destination. As he fell, he reached his hand forward. "Wild Growth!" Vines shot from his glove, latching onto the edge of the arena and pulling him up. They pulled him up with enough speed to hurl him up over the edge, and as he landed he yelled, "ECHO!" Another small Earth creature, one of the Venus Djinni, appeared in front of Isaac for a second before dashing forward, glowing like the energy that formed the Ragnarok sword. Mewtwo saw it coming and jumped away, but there was a second Djinn in the shadow of the first and it slammed into him.

He landed on his feet, already charging a Shadow Ball. "Echo… I get it… that's clever. Shadow Ball!" The black orb spun and weaved toward Isaac. He rolled away, but the Shadow Ball followed in its erratic course and slammed into him, fully ruining his armor. "Ow… Potent Cure!" More of him healed.

Mewtwo dashed forward. "Stop that…" He warned.

Isaac saw him approaching. "Perfect. BANE!" Yet another Venus Djinn appeared in front of him, and this one spit a gel in Mewtwo's face before disappearing. Mewtwo wiped his face.

"That was really unpleasant. Oh well. MEGA PUNCH!" He slammed Isaac in the gut with his fist. With no armor to protect Isaac's torso anymore, he felt the full force of the blow. Isaac got up and slashed at Mewtwo, but he disappeared. "Shadow Punch!" Mewtwo appeared behind Isaac and whacked him across the head. Isaac staggered forward. "Mega Kick!" Mewtwo kicked out with his large foot, and Isaac was launched forward. _He seems to get weaker every time he calls on one of those small Earth creatures_, Mewtwo noted with devilish interest. He held out his hand. "PSYCHIC!" The entire arena began to shake, and pieces of it started to float directly up, as did Isaac. Mewtwo lifted his hand, and a purple glow suffused it. He then brought the glowing hand down. Everything that was floating was slammed back into the ground, and a pulse of mental energy radiated outward from Mewtwo, knocking everything within reach backward. "Hah. Are you still around?" Mewtwo asked sadistically.

"You bet," Isaac laughed getting to his feet, now bleeding from his forehead, arms, and chest. "ODYSSEY!" Two swords like the one created by Ragnarok fell, one on each side of Mewtwo, pinning him in place with the power they gave off. Then a gargantuan energy sword formed above Isaac, the biggest yet. It fell forward, piercing Mewtwo and launching him back.

Mewtwo slid to a stop, and got up, clutching his head. "Ow. ICE BEAM!" A beam of pure cold radiated from his head toward Isaac.

"STONE SPIRE!" A huge stalagmite erupted up from the ground in front of Isaac, blocking the ice. More erupted, going in a straight line toward Mewtwo.

Mewtwo floated easily over them. "Razor Wind!" He gestured, and a cutting wind slashed at Isaac, knocking him back. "Give up yet?"

Isaac got up, looking nearly dead. "I still… have one last… trick," he panted. "Look up."

Mewtwo obliged. "What in the NINE HELLS IS THAT?"

---

"What are they looking at?" Bowser muttered nervously.

"Let's look up slowly and dramatically, and be surprised by it, whatever it is," Joe suggested. Everybody agreed, looking slowly and nervously to the sky, then letting out a gasp in unison. Pit even fainted.

---

Floating in the sky was what looked like a huge, armored angel. Its helm was horned. In one hand it held a gigantic, solid metal sword; the other hand was encased by a tremendous carved lion's head. "I summon JUDGEMENT!" Isaac called, disappearing in a flash. Judgement pointed its lion head straight down, and the fearsome jaws opened. A huge energy shot poured out of the jaws and fell toward the arena, making it brighter and brighter. The shot was centered on the main platform of Final Destination… specifically, on Mewtwo.

"Oh, shit," the self-proclaimed Ultimate Pokemon muttered. The energy blast hit, and radiated outward, generating ripples of energy miles wide. The bright energy knocked down all the Smashers watching, even burning Master Hand and Crazy Hand quite badly.

Isaac reappeared in the center of the now-smoking stage, grinning happily and quite alone. "Do I win or what?" he asked cheerfully.

Suddenly, Mewtwo appeared behind him, badly burned, and grabbed Isaac, pinning his arms to his side. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?!" Mewtwo yelled. "That attack was lethal force! If I hadn't known Endure, I would've died! Well, now it's my turn! Seismic Toss!" He hurled Isaac across the arena. "Recover!" Some of Mewtwo's burns healed, but he still looked pretty worn out. He held his hand up, and it glowed with a dark energy. "SPATIAL REND!" He made a slashing motion with his hand, and claw marks appeared on Isaac's chest. "ROAR OF TIME!" Isaac was blown back by a blast, but then he stopped in midair. Mewtwo eyed a broken Pokeball sword from before. "PSYCHO CUT!" He gestured to the blade, and it rose up, glowed with purple energy, and slashed Isaac. Mewtwo ran to Isaac extremely quickly. "EXTREMESPEED!" He slammed into Isaac, who finally started moving again, and jumped back to survey the damage.

Isaac stumbled to his feet. "Po…potent-"

"NOT THIS TIME, FOOL! GIGA IMPACT!" He slammed into Isaac, knocking him back. "HYDRO CANNON!" A huge blast of water appeared from nowhere and slammed down into Isaac, crushing him into the ground in a puddle of water. "Plant Frenzy!" Huge, thorny vines erupted from the puddle, pulling Roy into the air. "Sunny Day!" Bright sunlight shone onto the arena, drying out the vines. "Blast Burn!" Mewtwo breathed a huge fireball, baking Isaac and lighting the dry vines around him on fire.

---

"I've never seen Mewtwo like this," Peach gasped.

"Pika ka," Pikachu agreed.

"I have," Ganondorf said grimly, "Once. It was late; he was training against some of my Redead and Like Likes. You know how frustrating they are. Anyway, a Like Like ate him for the ninth time in a row, and he just _flipped out._ He killed every monster I sent, and I got badly burned in the crossfire. He nearly destroyed Hyrule Castle that night. Luckily, I know how to knock Mewtwo out in one hit. It was the only way to stop his berserker rage. He just lets go of himself entirely and lets his powers run rampant. It's really scary. I wish I could do it."

---

Isaac collapsed weakly to the ground. "Uncle… uncle…"

But Mewtwo paid him no heed. Now Mewtwo's eyes were glowing solid light blue. "Coup de grace… HYPER BEAM!" A pair of entwined beams radiated from Mewtwo, one from each hand.

"No… ugh… MAGIC SHELL!" Isaac stopped part of the beam's force, but not enough. It erupted through his hasty Psynergy and knocked him to the ground, now rendering him fully unconscious.

"I will have death tonight!" Mewtwo screamed, leaping into the air and rocketing toward Isaac.

"**That's enough, Mewtwo!**" Master Hand warned. "**You are the victor, so calm down. ENOUGH ALREADY!**"

"You heard him, Mewtwo!" Bowser yelled. He, Ganon, and DK jumped onstage, Bowser getting in front of Mewtwo, Ganon getting behind him, and DK picking up the unconscious Earth adept and leaping back to the spectator area. "That's enough!"

"If you will not allow me to continue," Mewtwo screamed, "I will DISPOSE OF YOU! Drain Punch!" He slammed his fist into Bowser's throat, and began siphoning energy from the surprised Koopa.

_No choice then_, Ganondorf thought, gritting his teeth. "Sorry, bud!" He grabbed the cord on the back of Mewtwo's head and yanked it as hard as he could, like a motorboat engine. The cyan glow in Mewtwo's eyes faded and he collapsed onto the stage, KO'd. "Works every time," Ganon said, lifting Mewtwo onto his shoulder as Bowser massaged his neck and moaned.

**End of Chapter**

**Damn, Mewtwo sure went berserk, didn't he? I blame that berserk gene from Gold, Silver and Crystal...**

**Next Chapter: Zelda fights another blond girl, and blah blah blah beast.**

**Chapters 8 and 9 will be in one order or another, depending on this poll: would you rather see Sonic the Hedgehog or a character from the Final Fantasy series first?**


	7. Chapter 7

**avatar: Okay, everybody. Just so we're clear who today's opponent is, Shina is from the Bloody Roar series of fighting games. The series has never been the best, but I'm a fan of the characters and the concept. I believe the more recent games are available for XBox and Gamecube, if you feel you want to take a look/rent a game.**

**Yoshi: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash - feed me - Bros. or any other game series within this - feed me - fic. He only owns - _feed me_ - the contents of this story. FRIGGIN FEED ME!**

**avatar: you just HAD dinner, Yoshi. Yours _and_ Mewtwo's.**

**Yoshi: I'm still hungryyyy...**

**Chapter 7**

**Zelda vs. Shina**

"**Alright,**" Master Hand continued, "**I'm tired of Final Destination. Yes, _already_. Our next match will be held at Hyrule Castle!**"

"Really?" Zelda asked. "Why?"

If Master Hand had a mouth, it would be grinning in a rather alarming way. "**You're one of the fighters.**"

"So… who am I facing?" Zelda asked. She stood at the huge, torn-up palace that was Hyrule Castle. "Is it another princess?"

"**No,**" Master Hand said with a chuckle. "**She may be another good-looking blond woman, but 'princess' is an absolutely horrible word to describe her. I now present… Shina 'Marvel' Gado!**" A woman landed across from Zelda. She had spiky, bleached-blond hair, and was dressed in a tight red shirt, dark blue jacket and pants, and black boots. Her face, aside from the hair, suggested a Japanese heritage.

"Just call me Shina," she said. "Pleased to beat you." Zelda huffed and got into a battle-ready position. "Oh, tough girl in the flowing royal robes. Alright, bring it on!" Shina cracked her knuckles and stomped into her own fighting posture.

"**Excellent. You two seem more than happy to battle your feelings out. Feel free to start… now.**"

"Haa!" Zelda started with a swipe at Shina's chest. Shina jumped back a bit, but electricity crackled from Zelda's hand beyond her normal reach, shocking Shina, who yelped. Zelda decided to press her advantage and kicked forward, but Shina dodged this one easily. She reared back with her fist, and energy from the ground seemed to flow into her. _Uh-oh_, Zelda thought, _I'd better dodge this_. She ducked down, and the punch flew right over her. Shina's fist connected with the stone wall, blowing a moderately large hole in it. _That's… not good. She must be a really intense martial artist._ Zelda's mind raced nervously as she jumped back, but Shina quickly caught up with her.

"Ha-ha-HYAA!" Lifting one foot, Shina kicked Zelda twice in her side, and quickly swung the leg up and around. She then used her leg to slam Zelda into the ground face-down. As Zelda recovered from the shock of the blow, Shina stomped on Zelda's back, causing the princess to cry out in pain. Zelda rolled back to her feet, and thrust her palm forward, creating a fiery explosion of mana. Shina was blown back, but flipped and landed on her feet. Zelda kicked forward again, but this time Shina was ready. Her body crackled with green lightning and she held her hands to her gut. When Zelda's foot reached her, Shina grabbed Zelda's leg and kicked her in the shin, knocking her to the ground. Still holding Zelda's leg, Shina sat on Zelda's back and performed a very painful leg-breaker move of the sort faked in professional wrestling. Zelda cried out in pain.

---

"I think I like this girl," Samus laughed.

"I KNOW I like this-a fight," Wario said. Several other male Smashers nodded.

"What I don't get," Captain Falcon stated, "Is the weird energy thing she's doing. I know martial arts, and most martial artists don't crackle with green electricity before an especially strong attack."

"Well that's easy," a voice said behind them. Everybody turned, shocked, to see three guys. The first man was brown-haired, had an X-shaped scar on his face, and wore a white T-shirt, black shorts, black sneakers, and fingerless gloves. The second, who had spoken, also had somewhat shorter brown hair, and wore a black button-down shirt and black pants. He was also noticably on the small side. The third man had long silver hair, white pants, and a long red coat that was fastened to his pants at the thighs. "Shina's not _just _a martial artist."

"Who're you?" Captain Falcon demanded.

"I'm Bakuryu," the short man in black continued. "This is Yugo," he gestured to his friend with the scar, "and Xion." He pointed to the silver-haired one. "We're all Zoanthropes, like Shina."

"Zoanthropes?" Vyse asked. "What are those, and why're you here?"

"Since you apparently aren't familiar with our realm," Xion began, "Master Hand brought us to explain Zoanthropes to you guys. You see, Zoanthropes are like a different race of humans… a _better_ race."

Ganon laughed inwardly. Unlike Shina and the other two guys, this Xion guy didn't reek of heroism. He smelled more of the fine brand of villainy that Ganon could respect. "Watch who you're talking to, pal," Ganon said with a grin. "Wouldn't want to sound racist."

"No, he wouldn't," Bakuryu said with a nervous smile, passing Xion a 'shut-it' glare. "Anyway, Zoanthropes are a little different than most people. For starters, we're naturally drawn to martial arts. It's our forte. Secondly, our more experienced fighters can manipulate ambient energy, like you've seen Shina do. Most importantly, though, Zoanthropes can all shapeshift."

Zelda rolled to her feet. Shina wasted no time at taking a swing at her, but Zelda was prepared. "Farore's Wind!" As a green wind surrounded Zelda, it blew Shina backwards. When Shina regained her footing, Zelda was gone. She turned to see Zelda thirty feet behind her, just as her body began to shine. Zelda sparkled and spun in place, and when the light faded, the pink-robed elflike princess had been replaced with a red-eyed ninja dressed in dark blue and white bandages. "Now you'll go down," Sheik spoke coolly.

"We'll see about that," Shina said as she sprinted toward Sheik. "I see you can shapeshift too." Although Sheik was a bit nervous that Shina said she could shapeshift, she didn't show it. Instead, she released a large volley of _senbon_ needles toward the blond girl. Shina dodged most of them, and simply ignored those that did go into her body. She yelled and tackled Sheik. Sheik rolled and got to her feet. Where had Shina gone? The sound of crackling electricity caused her to turn, just in time to see the familiar green lightning on Shina. Shina yelled wordlessly again and raised her foot, delivering five kicks to Sheik's body in the space of a second and knocking her to the ground. Shina pulled the needles from her body and tossed them away. "Nice try, but I've faced ninjas before. I know how they tick. CYBER-ninjas, now those are tough." Shina leapt over Sheik's rising form and then lashed out with her feet. She caught Sheik's neck between her ankles and spun her body, throwing Sheik back to the ground in a Frankensteiner.

"You can't defeat me," Sheik said as she got up. Shina threw another punch, but Sheik ducked down and spun in a hand-stand, propeller-kicking Shina back. Sheik then followed up with a pair of front kicks, then grabbed Shina. Sheik tossed Shina upward, slid gracefully under her, and planted both of her bandage-wrapped feet in Shina's gut, knocking her farther straight up. Sheik then grabbed over a dozen needles, and threw them all straight up after Shina.

"Enough!" Shina curled into a ball as the needles darted toward her. Then, with a feral roar, she released a wave of force from her body, repelling all the needles. The force changed her, too; gold fur with black spots spread across her body. Her hands and feet swelled and grew claws. Her hair disappeared, and her ears rounded and perked up to the top of her head. A tail emerged from the seat of her pants. Finally, her face extended into a short muzzle. All this took place in the space of a second; where there had been a blond girl, there was now a large, anthropomorphic leopard dropping toward Shina, and a very angry-looking one at that. She was still wearing her clothes, although they were a bit shredded and her shoes were gone.

"Uh-oh." Sheik jumped out of the way as Shina gouged her claws into the ground where a ninja/princess had just been. Shina instantly recovered and lunged forward, grabbing Sheik by the throat with her jaws. She then shook Sheik around like a ragdoll and slammed her to the ground before letting go. Sheik coughed a bit, then rolled out of the way from Shina's clawed foot. Sheik jumped to her feet and lashed out with her chain, striking Shina several times and knocking her back. Shina growled and ran through a hole in the wall. "I'm getting the unpleasant feeling I'm being stalked," Sheik muttered, pressing her back to a wall and grabbing a double handful of needles.

---

"What's the deal?" Captain Falcon complained. "Why did Beauty and the Beast run off?"

"She's trying to get the element of surprise," Snake remarked. "An _important_ tactic."

"Correct!" Bakuryu approved. "15 points for you!"

---

"ROOAAARR!" A catlike figure dropped from the next level of the castle in front of Sheik. She threw her needles, but the figure was gone. "C'mon, where are you…" Sheik produced more needles, keeping her back pressed to the wall and trying to control her heartrate. This didn't work very well, as a clawed fist burst from the wall right next to her head. The fist pulled right, hitting Sheik. Sheik then jumped away from the wall just before Shina's shoulder shattered it. Sheik threw more needles, but Shina ran forward on all fours, going under them, and came up with a vicious uppercut. As Sheik was thrown into the air, Shina jumped up and drop-kicked her back, knocking her into another wall of the castle and smashing it.

"I'm not going to lose!" Sheik got up, and saw Shina charging her again. This time, she threw a smoke bomb to the ground, knocking Shina back and stunning her. When the smoke cleared, Sheik was gone. Shina sniffed the air, and turned around just as Sheik punched her hard in the face from behind. Sheik pulled out her chain and swung it, wrapping it around Shina's arm. Sheik then swung Shina in a circle, cracking her on a few stone walls, and threw her down to the next level of the dungeon. "Sayonara!" Sheik threw a _kunai_ knife down to Shina. As Shina got up, she noticed a flickering piece of paper on the kunai's rear loop. The note was marked with the Japanese symbol for 'explode'. Shina's ears lowered in shock as the knife exploded, knocking her back.

Shina growled as she got to her feet, and Sheik landed silently behind her. However, Shina could still smell her opponent. She turned and slashed at Sheik, who blocked with another kunai. Shina then balled her other claw into a fist and slammed it into Sheik's gut, knocking her back. Shina then stepped back into a guarding crouch, and a blue barrier formed around her. Sheik drove her kunai into the barrier, and everything around them flashed with indigo light.

---

"This is the best part," Xion said with a smirk. "The girl's fallen into Shina's Mad Trap. This is a Beast Drive, one of our last-resort attacks. Watch carefully."

Suddenly Mewtwo regained consciousness. "Ohh… my head…" He suddenly keeled over and vomited. "That Bane attack… the asshole poisoned me too! Natural Cure!" Mewtwo flashed and was better. "Where is he?"

"He's comatose, Mewtwo," Ness said, rolling his eyes. "You've beaten him enough."

"Whatever…"

---

Shina blocked the kunai with her hand, knocking it away. She then grabbed Sheik's throat in her jaws again and began viciously slamming her to the ground. Finally, she let go of Sheik's throat and began tearing into the ninja's chest with her claws. The indigo light faded, and Shina's form became human again, her clothes repairing themselves in the process. "Have you had enough?" Shina asked.

Sheik got up, now bleeding profusely from her chest and a bit from her neck. _I knew I should've kept a fairy in a bottle._ "No. I am not going to lose to _the likes of you!_" Sheik then threw another wave of senbon needles. Although Shina attempted to dodge, several buried themselves in her arms and legs. Sheik sparkled and changed back to Zelda. "Time to finish you! Din's Fire!" Zelda waved, and a fireball flew from her arm toward Shina. Shina slid under the fireball, but it exploded behind her, causing her to stumble forward. Zelda was right there to kick Shina in the face with her high heel-clad foot, knocking her onto her back. Shina rolled back and stood with her back to a wall, and Zelda charged forward, her hands sparking with magical energy.

"AGGHHH!" Shina was slammed by the energy back into the wall, cracking it. She dodged the next blow, and gave Zelda a one-two punch in the face. She followed up with another triple-kick to the chest, and finished with a foot sweep, knocking Zelda off her feet. Shina then jumped backward, wall-kicking off the cracked wall forward toward Zelda. Zelda rolled forward, dodging Shina's double-fisted hammer-blow slamming into the ground. Shina turned and crackled with green energy, pulling her leg up. Zelda knew what was coming and jumped upward as Shina delivered multiple rapid kicks to the wall, shattering the lower part. Zelda planned to come down with a magically charged downward kick, but Shina was ready. She jumped into the air, grabbed Zelda's neck between her ankles, and Frankensteiner'd her again, this time into the already damaged wall, which enitirely collapsed under the stress. Both girls were buried under the pile of rubble.

---

"Wow," Bowser laughed, "we've really been tearing these places apart today."

"Yeah," Xion said. "Shina's absolutely destroying this girl."

"Hey!" Link said to Xion. "Zelda's doing fine! She doesn't need somebody criticizing her, especially not some prejudiced, emo, wannabe villain!"

"Prejudiced…" Yugo grinned, finding this hilarious.

"Emo?" Bakuryu asked blankly.

"WANNABE?!" Xion yelled. "I'll show you, punk!" Xion flashed and transformed. Where he had once been, there was now a silvery, metallic demon. Blades grew from his back, wrists, and ankles, he had long, thin antennae, and his eyes glowed yellow. He grabbed Link's shirt in his clawed hand. "Don't EVER call me an emo wannabe!"

"Got it…" Link yelped.

"Maybe I should've mentioned what Xion transforms into…" Bakuryu said with a nervous smile.

---

Shina's hand burst from the rubble. Badly bleeding, she pulled herself up. She noticed Zelda struggling to her feet about twenty feet away, and charged her with a yell. Zelda looked up, and began to spin. "NAYRU'S LOVE!" She spun rapidly, encased in a blue diamond of energy. The energy knocked Shina back, and threw several pieces of rubble into her. "Farore's Wind!" Zelda teleported behind Shina, and reared back with a double-handed blast of magic in her hands. Shina turned around and blocked with her forearms, but the magical blast still hurled her back into and thru the next wall back, about sixty feet and to the edge of the stage.

"Dammit," Shina said as she got to her feet with a large burn on her chest, "That anime forearm block thing never helps much."

"DIN'S FIRE!" Shina looked up, and saw another fireball hurtling toward her. She dove out of the way, swearing. "Din's Fire! Din's Fire! Din's Fire!" More fireballs came, destroying more castle architecture. One detonated close to Shina and nearly knocked her over the edge.

"Too close," she muttered, pulling herself back up. She saw more fireballs coming at her. "Only one way to win this. YAAAAUUUGHHHRRR!" She transformed into a leopard again, but this time was different. Her entire body was shimmering and crackling with electricity (a normal, blue-white type, not the green type), and everything around her seemed distorted. The fireballs roaring toward Shina slowed down before stopping completely in the air. Shina roared and began running and jumping thru the now-stationary fireballs.

"What? No!" Zelda transformed back into Sheik and threw more needles, but these too froze in midair soon after they left her hand. "W-what's going on here?!"

---

"Now what?" Ganon asked.

"The Hyper-Beast form," Yugo answered, speaking for the first time. "Shina must be desperate, because it's painful to initiate and self-destructive to hold that form. However, one of its effects is that time stops around her for anything less than a sentient creature. Those throwing weapons will be useless."

---

"Rowr!" Shina leapt and kicked Sheik back, and slashed her again as she was falling. Sheik rolled to her feet, grabbed her last needle, and shoved it into Shina's foot. Shina roared and pulled it out, tossing it away where it floated. She then slashed at Sheik, but the veteran Smasher had drawn a pair of kunai to block with. She slashed Shina right back, further wounding her burned chest. Shina responded by glowing with green lightning and kicking Sheik repeatedly in her own chest wounds, her toe claws adding extra damage. Sheik fell back and drove her kunai into Shina's advancing form. Shina roared and uppercut Sheik, knocking her off a ledge. Sheik threw her chain, and it wrapped around Shina's leg, pulling her down. Now Shina was hanging from the ledge by her claws, and Sheik was dangling below from the chain. "Rrrr…" Shina scissored her legs, slicing the chain. Sheik began to fall, but then disappeared in a puff of smoke. As Shina crawled back to the platform, Sheik appeared in front of her. The ninja lashed out with a kick, but Shina weaved her head out of the way and bit down on Sheik's calf, swinging her around and throwing her back. Shina began to approach Sheik, but stopped and clutched her chest in pain, the form's consequences beginning to catch up with her.

"Ugh… had enough?" Sheik got slowly and dizzily to her feet. Out of kunai… out of senbon… her chain broken… her Zelda form's mana nearly depleted… what else could she do?

Shina began to walk forward again and spoke, her voice a feral growl in this form. **"I think I've got enough stamina for **_**one**_** more attack… CROSS BLADE ZAPPER!" **As the world around them glowed blue-purple again, she slashed upward into Sheik's chest once, twice, three times, the last knocking Shina upward. She then leapt into the air, threw Shina to the ground, and made a double-handed outward slashing motion, creating a rippling wave of force.

_Now's my only chance…_ Sheik thought as she changed back to Zelda. "NAYRU'S LOVE!" She spun on the ground as the wave of energy struck her. The attack should've left huge claw marks gouged in a massive 'X' around Zelda and sliced her open, but thanks to the successful counterattack, it was repelled back into the air, where it struck Shina.

"AAAHHH!" Shina reverted back to human form and was hurled up and back, landing a good distance away. Her clothes were torn up, as was her skin, she was bleeding profusely, her arm appeared to have broken during the fall, and she was unconscious.

"**Zelda wins the match!**" Master Hand proclaimed.

"Well, alright then," said Bakuryu, a bit put out.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU LOST!" Xion roared, in his human form again.

"That was a pretty fun fight," Bakuryu continued. Yugo nodded. "I guess we'll be going. See you again, someday!" Master Hand turned and zapped them, and they were gone.

Zelda grabbed Shina and used Farore's Wind to teleport them both to the audience platform, using the last of her energy. "Can we get some band-aids or something here?"

**End of Chapter**

**And now, the winner of the poll: Sonic The Hedgehog! You'll see him fighting in Chapter 8! And Ganondorf will be pitted against a Final Fantasy character in Chapter 9. Thanks for all those who voted this time.**


	8. Chapter 8

**avatarjk137: Heyo. Sorry I'm a bit late, it slipped my mind. According to my ACT scores (Woo! 97th percentile nationwide!) I'm a very smart person, so naturally my memory sucks. Anyway, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Sonic fights a Smasher! But not Mario, I'll leave that to the Olympics.**

**Samus: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros., or any other video game franchise mentioned. He owns this story, though; take it without asking and I will show you the meaning of _TRUE PAIN_.**

**avatar: thank you Samus, for scaring people shitless. Viva la FBI!**

**Chapter 8**

**Falco Lombardi vs. Sonic the Hedgehog**

"**Alright, everybody,**" Master Hand had announced once Zelda and Shina had been properly bandaged, and Shina had woken up and introduced herself all around. "**Our next match will take place in Green Greens!**"

"But we're already in Green Greens," Bowser protested. "Wait… we were just in Hyrule Castle! How'd we get to Green Greens?!"

"**I snapped my fingers,**" Master Hand explained. "**Now, our next opponent is somebody you are ALL familiar with.**" He snapped his fingers again, and a bridge of energy extended from the level off into the distance. A blue blur raced down the bridge, and slid easily to a stop in the center of the stage. "**Sonic… the Hedgehog.**" Sonic was, naturally, a blue anthropomorphic animal that bore only the slightest resemblance to an actual hedgehog, with white gloves and red running shoes.

"Hi there, guys! I'm Sonic the-" A soda can bounced off his head.

"Shut up, whore!" Ganon yelled. "We already know who the hell you are! Get lost, you aren't welcome 'round here!"

"**Quiet, Ganon! He's here by invite! Now, we need a hero to match with Sonic. A famous Nintendo hero…**"

"It's a-me, Mario!" Mario jumped toward Sonic, but Master Hand pounded him back to the viewing platform.

"**Not you! A talking furry animal Nintendo hero!**"

Fox stood up. "Me?"

"**Better idea! A **_**blue **_**talking animal Nintendo hero!**"

"You mean me?" Falco ventured.

"**YES! You need to prove your worth to stay, remember?**"

"Alright." Falco jumped to the platform across from Sonic. "Hey, shouldn't you dissipate that bridge Sonic came over on?"

"**I should, but I won't, because, as a giant, sentient, omnipotent glove, I do whatever the **_**hell**_** I want. BEGIN!**"

Sonic grinned and looked at Falco. "You know, there's a waiting room for all the other Smasher nominees. We've been watching the earlier fights, and I've noticed they all build to a point before ending. Now that makes for a good fight to watch, but I'm all about speed. So I'm going to end this very, very quickly." He brought out a bunch of colorful gems from behind his back, seven in all. "That's why I brought the Seven Chaos Emeralds. To end this right away! Now… huh?" He turned to the bridge, where another blur was approaching. A black and red one.

Shadow the Hedgehog slid to a stop in front of Sonic, showering him with sparks. "Hey."

"Uh… Shadow… what are you doing here?"

"I need to borrow these really quick. I'll be back in a bit." Shadow grabbed the Emeralds from Sonic.

"Hey, wait, I need those!" But Sonic was too late.

"CHAOS CONTROL!" Shadow disappeared in a red flash. Sonic looked around hopefully, but the other hedgehog was gone. He looked at Falco, who grinned.

"End this right away, huh?" Falco asked with a sneer. He drew a plasma pistol. "I'll show you RIGHT AWAY!" He began shooting at Sonic.

"Woah!" Sonic jumped back, dodging a few shots, but one hit him in the chest, knocking him off the platform. He rolled to his feet and jumped into the air. "Homing attack!" He curled into a ball and launched toward Falco, but Falco jumped into the air. Sonic bounced up after him.

"You want fast?" Falco asked with a sneer. "Try my feet in your face!" He spun in the air, kicking Sonic four times in the face and knocking him away. Both landed on their feet, and Falco drew a blaster from a holster on his waist. He got down into an aiming stance with one hand behind his back, and began shooting at Sonic. Sonic began to rapidly run in circles around Falco, dodging every blast. After a minute or so of this, Sonic grew tired of this and skidded to a stop. He curled into a ball and aimed at Falco as he began to spin. "GOT YOU NOW!" Falco shot at the spinning ball, but the air currents around Sonic's spinning form deflected the beams. "Arrghh…" Falco revealed his other hand, which was holding another plasma pistol, with a full charge of energy in the next shot. "Take this!" Sonic and Falco yelled in unison. Sonic rushed toward Falco as Falco fired the maximum charge shot at Sonic. Both were knocked back by the force of the blast; Falco nearly fell off the stage, and Sonic wound up with his head stuck in Wispy Woods' eye.

"Hey! Who turned out the sun?!" Sonic popped his head loose and looked at the angry face of the tree he was clinging to. "This'll scar me for life." He jumped loose and turned to see Falco pulling himself up.

"Grrrreeeeaaaat," Falco muttered, "I busted a pistol." He looked up and noticed Sonic charging at him. "EEP! Falco Phantasm!" He turned into a blue illusion and flashed by Sonic. Both skidded to a stop, and fell to the ground, clutching their sides. "Damn," Falco muttered, "First I bust a pistol, then I bust a rib."

"What about you?" Sonic angrily showed Falco his glove, which was now bloody. "Do you _sharpen _your feathers or something?" He dashed toward Falco and began punching and kicking him rapidly. Multiple squishing and cracking noises came from Falco's body as Sonic continued his relentless assault.

"REFLECTOR!" Falco blasted Sonic back. He then pulled a Homing Launcher out from behind his back. "Let's see if you can outrun THIS!" He fired a homing missile, which spiraled toward Sonic at a high speed.

"Uh… no sweat!" Sonic ran from the missile, but soon found himself going in circles around the level. "Okay, sweat!" He jumped into the air and homing attacked the homing missile, causing it to spiral toward Falco instead. Falco turned his Reflector back on, and the missile was knocked back toward Sonic. "What is this, a pinball game?!" Sonic jumped and landed on the missile, and 'surfed' it back toward Falco. Falco grinned and shot the missile with his blaster, but Sonic jumped off the missile and homing attacked again. This time, he hit Falco in the face with his Homing attack, knocking him back. "Finally! Score!"

---

"Dang," Ganon muttered. "Sonic's fast."

"I haven't been this entertained by a pair of brightly-colored talking animals since I was eight years old," Shina said cheerfully.

"Wow…" Ness muttered. "How fast is Sonic, anyway?"

"Normally," Mr. Game and Watch dictated, "Sonic can travel at Mach 1 if he builds up speed. However, he has a number of special techniques he can use, like the light dash, to go even faster. His speed makes him _truly _a force to be reckoned with." Everybody stared at Game and Watch. "Uh… that is to say… BEEP!"

---

"OWW!" Falco was knocked back into Wispy Woods, causing apples to fall. He grabbed the apples and began throwing them at Sonic. Sonic easily dodged the apples, even catching two.

He took a big bite out of one. "Mmm… delicious," he said thickly through the food. He dropped the apple and threw the other at Falco like a baseball. Falco turned on his Reflector and bounced it back, and since Sonic had charged forward after throwing the apple, it caught him in the chin. Falco jumped forward and slammed his heel into Sonic's jaw. He then backflipped, kicking Sonic into the air.

_Damn, _Falco thought with a wince, _He did mess up my ribs. Oh well!_ He had grabbed a gadget on his wrist and pressed the charger as he winced. He jumped into the air and released it. "Falco Flare!" He spun into the air, slamming Sonic away as he hit him. Falco kept moving forward, and drill-kicked Sonic, driving him into the ground. He then landed and turned to Sonic, but the blue hedgehog was pulling something out from behind his back. "What the-?"

"You like these?" Sonic showed off the dozen or so large, golden Rings he was holding. "Take 'em!" He threw the Rings at Falco, but he ducked under some of them and Reflected the others back.

"You have a bad thowing arm and a bad memory, you know that?" Falco taunted. "Those Rings will go right back and… and…" The Rings had settled into a straight line in front and behind of him. He realized to late that he was right in Sonic's path. It was a trap.

"LIGHT DASH!" Sonic flashed golden and zipped forward, grabbed all the rings and smashed into Falco at over five times his usual, already fast speed. Falco was plowed into the ground, literally under a few inches of dirt. He clawed his way out, spitting up dirt and a worm. "That was great!" Sonic was doubled over, laughing like a hyena. "I actually buried you underground with speed! That is PRICELESS! Did anybody get a photo of that?"

"Shut your ugly-ASS TRAP!" Falco threw a grenade to either side of Sonic, and pulled out his blaster. Sonic zipped forward, grabbing the blaster before Falco could fire, and running back to his original position.

"Nice blaster," Sonic laughed, looking at it. "Bye bye!" He threw it over the edge. "Now what, hotshot?"

"Now this! Falco Phantasm!" Falco dashed forward with his illusory attack.

Sonic was just barely able to jump over it. Sonic turned in midair to where Falco had stopped. "Homing attack!" But Falco turned around and grabbed Sonic right out of the homing attack, holding him by his neck. He threw Sonic to the ground, plowing him into the dirt, and turned on the Reflector, blasting the hedgehog back.

---

"What just happened?" Vyse asked. "How did Falco just grab Sonic mid-attack like that?"

"That's a Smasher trick," Samus said. "If you make it in – and beating Link, I expect you will – we'll teach it to you."

---

Sonic skidded to a stop, and flipped to his feet just in time to see Falco holding a larger firearm. "What's that thing?" Sonic asked nervously as Falco pointed it.

"Gatling Laser," Falco muttered. "Here! I'll show you how it works!" He began firing a rapid stream of energy spheres. Sonic began dodging the blasts, encircling Falco. Suddenly, he exploded into the air after touching the spot where he had ground Falco into the dirt. "Oh, did I forget to tell you?" Falco taunted. "I left a motion sensor bomb underground over there." He blasted Sonic rapidly while he was in midair. Falco then dashed forward toward Sonic, but his opponent dashed forward the minute his legs made contact with the ground. Sonic rolled under Falco, then curled into a ball and dashed forward as Falco turned, slamming into his chest. Sonic was rewarded with Falco being knocked backward into a large stack of blocks, with a bomb block inside. The explosion knocked Falco high into the air.

"Yes!" Sonic watched as Falco fell to the ground with a satisfying _THUMP._ "Maybe I won't need the Emeralds after all. It's not like I'm fighting Mario or anything." Suddenly, Falco rolled to his feet and threw a grenade. Sonic ducked under the grenade, but Falco then whipped out his Gatling Laser and fired a few rounds. Sonic jumped over them, but a bullet hit the grenade, creating another explosion. Sonic was hurled forward into Falco's waiting arm. Falco grabbed Sonic again and punched him hard in the face. He reared back for another punch, but Sonic beat him to it, driving his fists into Falco's beak a few times. Falco stumbled back, and Sonic grabbed his leg and pulled him in the other direction. He kicked Falco, knocking him into the pit of the level between the main and side platforms. "Yeah!"

Falco's head cleared as he began to fall. _I won't lose. Master Hand might kill me! I've GOT to win this!_ He pressed a blinking red button on his watch.

Meanwhile, Sonic was on the main platform, celebrating. "Oh yeah! I beat a Smasher! I'm the hedgehog! Woo!" Suddenly, he felt a rush of wind behind him. He turned around. Falco was grinning at Sonic from inside the cockpit of his customized Arwing, the Sky Claw. "Oh… never mind then…"

"Enjoy hell!" Falco yelled as eight sets of crosshairs locked onto Sonic. He released the trigger, and eight green spheres of energy lashed out of the fighter, arching toward Sonic. Sonic zipped behind another pile of blocks, and was blown back by an explosion. He grabbed the edge of the stage with one hand, nearly falling off.

"Wow. This guy's a much better shot than Eggman," Sonic muttered as he hung in place. Suddenly, the Sky Claw flew over to where he was hanging and began shooting. Sonic hauled himself up to the ledge and ran from the shots, as laser fire followed him and left dark scars in the grassy meadow.

"CHAOS CONTROL!" Shadow reappeared right in front of Sonic in a fiery wave. "Thanks," he muttered, handing the Emeralds to a dumbstruck Sonic. "What? Surprised I returned them like I said I would?"

"No," Sonic said, quickly recovering, "surprised that the word 'thanks' is in your vocabulary!" Shadow simply sneered and dashed off. Sonic sighed and let the Chaos Emeralds float around him. There was a flash, and the Emeralds were gone. Sonic was golden-colored, and emitting a yellow aura. He turned to Falco. "Ready for a real fight?!"

"You bet!" Falco had achieved multilock again, and he fired. More blasts flew at Super Sonic, but he swatted them all back with one arm. Falco dodged them and began firing a twin set of lasers. "Come on, radioactive man!" Sonic dodged the lasers and shot toward the Claw. Falco recalled Peppy's words of wisdom: _"Do a BARREL ROLL!"_ And he did just that. The wing slammed into Sonic, dazing him, but he quickly shook it off and chased the fighter ship. Falco did a loop-de-loop, getting behind Sonic and shooting at him, but Sonic deflected all the shots, stopped in place, and shot back toward Falco. He slammed into the modified Arwing, breaking off a wing, and kicked it downward.

"Damn," Falco swore, "The Claw's going down!" He pressed a button on the control panel that read 'BOMB' and jumped out the top. As he jumped upward, he slammed a button on his Falco Flare device that was marked, 'OVERCHARGE', in crimson letters. Simultaneously, a bomb flew up from the Sky Claw, detonating above Super Sonic, and blasting him downward with sheer concussive force. Sonic caught himself in midair just above Falco.

"Whatever you're trying," Sonic yelled arrogantly, "it won't work!"

"Worth a shot," Falco said. The Falco Flare device cracked down the center, and Falco erupted into a Falco Flare, spinning up to Sonic. He grabbed Sonic as he passed by, and the Falco Flare just kept going. He shoved a grenade into Sonic's mouth, and kicked him downward, creating a large explosion. "Okay, you can turn off now." But the Falco Flare device shattered, and its flaming aura began to engulf Falco. "This is a bad turn of events!" Falco yelped as flames singed his feathers and jacket, three hundred feet above Wispy Woods.

Suddenly a golden blur ascended from the explosion toward Falco. "YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT!" Sonic was a bit singed, especially around his face, but otherwise fine. He slammed into Falco's spine, knocking him forward, and began to zip around Falco's burning form in midair, slamming into it rapidly.

Falco gritted his beak as impact after impact slammed into his pain-wracked body. He had to stop this. He finally got his numb fingers to move to the right device as Sonic pulled his fist back for another hit as he passed by. "ugh…REFLECTOR!" The reflection field pushed the out-of-control Falco Flare outward, and it collided with Super Sonic's golden aura, creating an explosion.

---

"What's going on up there?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Something shiny," Wario said with a grin.

"I think Sonic's blast field is reacting oddly with the Falco Flare and the Reflector," Fox mumbled.

"I'd have to agree," Game and Watch nodded.

"So you've been hiding your ability to talk all this time?" Ganon sneered, leaning in toward Game and Watch's face.

"Maybe," Game and Watch mumbled nervously.

---

"What the… CRAP!" Sonic noticed that his Super Sonic form had dissipated, and began to fall. "What happened?" Suddenly, a burning hand reached out from the smoke cloud left around them and grabbed Sonic by the hand. "Hey, thanks… buddy… uhh…" Falco's feathers had shifted from their usual color scheme of blue to a glowing gold, with a mask of red feathers around his eyes and a red stripe in the middle of his tail. The Super Sonic aura now surrounded him, but it was distinctly more fiery. His eyes were completely blank, and he was burning hot to the touch. "Are you okay?" Sonic asked finally.

Falco seemed to notice Sonic for the first time, and he smiled cruelly. "PHOENIX FLARE!" An orb of spinning fire surrounded him, toasting Sonic on contact. Sonic struggled to stay conscious as the flames stopped. Falco laughed maniacally and tossed Sonic straight up. He then pulled his right hand back into a fist, rearing back in midair for a punch. The flaming golden aura gathered around his fist, growing in brightness as Sonic reached the top of his arc. Finally, as Sonic began to fall, the flames around Falco's fist turned blue. "FLARE HAYMAKER!!" Falco slammed his fist downward into Sonic's chest, creating a fiery blast that sent Sonic shooting down like a meteorite onto the Green Greens main platform. Sonic hit the ground, bounced once, and rolled to the roots of Wispy Woods. He coughed weakly; his body was still burning with blue fire, and he was burnt all over.

"**I now declare the winner of this battle to be FALCO LOMBARDI!**" Master Hand enthusiastically announced. "**He has exceeded my expectations, and I will NOT be sending Crazy Hand to kill him in his sleep tonight!**"

"That's pleasant," Falco snapped as he floated gently to the ground. As soon as he touched down, the aura disappeared and the Emeralds rained down in a circle around Sonic. He turned to Fox. "I FINALLY DID IT! I FLEW WITHOUT MY SHIP!"

"YEAH! YOU DID!" Fox yelled back. "That's fantastic, Falco!"

"Yeah," Falco agreed as he jumped over to where Fox was, carrying Sonic's unconscious body, "and you know what else?" He took a deep breath. "You owe me TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, FOX!"

"Oh… right…" Fox muttered. Years ago, he had bet Falco that Falco wouldn't fly without a ship before he retired as a fighter pilot. How could he remember a bet from that far back?

"**Well, we can't use Green Greens for a while,**" Master Hand observed. "**Next, let's go to Big Blue. I love that place, it is so choice.**"

**End of Chapter**

**Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be Black Mage vs. some Smasher.**

**Time for another poll! Who do you want to see fighting first? The lovely femme fatale Ivy Valentine of the Soul Calibur series, or the... little thing that is Bowser Jr.?**


	9. Chapter 9

**avatar: Yay! Chapter 9 is up! I really enjoyed this fight, and I hope you all do as well.**

**White Mage: avatarjk137 does not own Super-**

**avatar: Whoa whoa whoa! What're you doing here?**

**White Mage: I always follow this guy around, reviving any innocent people he winds up killing so we still look like heroes. I also do disclaimers for free, so like I was saying: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros. or any other video game franchise. He only owns this story.**

**avatar: Hey, you're a healer. Can you cure cancer?**

**White Mage: No way. If I do that before I become a White Wizard, I'll get sued by the medical board.**

**Chapter 9**

**Ganondorf vs. Black Mage**

"Alright," Fox said. They had arrived at Big Blue and were standing in the audience VIP box of the arena. "What's next?"

"**Ganondorf shall come down to the Falcon Flyer with me.**" Before anybody could say anything, Master Hand had teleported himself and Ganon down to the aircraft. A race had just started, and the ship was floating right above as usual. "**Now, Ganondorf, meet your opponent. I now present… BLACK MAGE!**" A black energy ball erupted from nowhere in front of them. It disappeared to reveal a figure perhaps Mario's height. He wore a pointy, bent straw hat which shadowed his face, a worn blue robe, and leather gloves and pointy-toed boots. He carried a wooden staff with a large gem at the end. The shadows over his face prevented any of his features from appearing, save two eyes that glowed solid yellow.

"Hey there!" Black Mage said. Ganondorf winced: just the tone of Black Mage's voice had told him this guy would be hard to deal with. It told him Black Mage was the witty, sarcastic type, the type who could fight with words or force, but never stopped fighting with words. "Nice new look, Ganny. I'll go tell the others tonight that dreadlocks are the _hot _new look for evil masterminds. But seriously, you look good. You got fat for a little while, now you're ripped again. Good for you!" Ganon gritted his teeth. He would paint the stage with this guy.

"**Thank you, Black Mage, for getting Ganondorf good and angry. It'll ensure a good match. READYSETGO!**" Master Hand conjured and waved a flag.

"WIZARD'S FOOT!" Ganondorf kicked forward, his foot glowing with a dark aura. Black Mage brought his staff forward in both hands and guarded, but the force of the blow still knocked him off the front of the Falcon Flyer, and he landed on the number 30 racer. Ganondorf produced a pair of sabers, and jumped down after Black Mage.

"Asshole hit me with his evil athlete's foot…" Mage pointed his staff up, and it crackled with lightning. "THUNDER!" Ganondorf simply let the bolt strike his sabers, causing them to crackle with electricity. Although the shock carried thru to him, he focused the pain into anger toward Black Mage.

"DIE!" Ganon landed at Black Mage's feet, and slashed at him. Mage rolled to his feet, and Ganon only slashed into the vehicle (beheading the driver). Mage kept rolling across the ground as Ganon kept slashing. Suddenly Mage laughed and jumped backward to the split 26 car, and the one Ganondorf was on began to fall apart. Ganondorf jumped to the other half of the 26 racer, and slashed horizontally in a scissor motion.

Black Mage jumped over it again, and pointed his staff down. "FIRE!" A small fireball slammed into Ganon, lighting his hair on fire. As Ganon yelled angrily and patted his head, Black Mage landed and pointed his staff forward. "Lemme help you with that, sport. Blizzard!" A chilling blast created ice crystals across Ganon's face, angering him more. "Catch ya later! Water!" He sprayed the metal rod linking the Siamese twin car with a blast of water. "Blizzard!" The water hardened into ice, snapping the racer in half. Black Mage jumped up and caught a metal piece hanging down from the Falcon Flyer in his free hand, and Ganon's half of the car spun out and crashed. Ganondorf began to skid along the road, dropping a saber. He roared in anger and grabbed the tailfin of a car passing by, hauling himself up to the car. "You still there?" Black Mage asked mockingly, raising his staff. "THUNDARA!" A stronger lightning bolt arced toward Ganondorf.

"You're already underestimating me." Ganon swatted the bolt, reflecting it. It pierced Black Mage's hat, leaving a burning circular hole.

"MY FAVORITE HAT!" Black Mage shouted. "You'll pay! WATERA!" A large sphere of water materialized in front of Black Mage and shot towards Ganondorf, splashing him. Ganon kept jumping from car to car, ignoring the dampness and nearing Mage. "BLIZZARA!" Black Mage shot a blast of cold and ice, but Ganondorf dodged and jumped right up to Mage.

"Now I've got you! Dark Dive!" Ganondorf sheathed his sword and grabbed Black Mage in a crushing bear hug. As he did, bolts of electricity coursed thru Mage's body, amplified by Ganondorf's wetness. Finally, they were blasted apart by the voltage. Black Mage was pressed up against to the underbelly of the flyer, while Ganon recovered in midair. "GERUDO DRAGON!" A dark energy enveloped Ganon's fist and dragged him forward. When he reached Black Mage, he slammed him upward, driving him up through the Falcon Flyer to the top.

Black Mage struggled to his feet. "Ow… Ganny's sure smashing a lot of stuff to get to me…"

Ganondorf hopped up from the messy hole he had made, his still-wet dreadlocks flapping in the wind. "Ready to die?" He grabbed the saber from his back, and it shapeshifted into a greatsword.

"Ready to cliché?" Replied Black Mage mockingly. "FIRA!" A large fireball burst from his staff. Ganon easily dodged, but as he did, Mage pressed his glove to the steel surface of the Falcon Flyer. "THUNDARA!" A shockwave passed from his hand, electrifying Ganondorf. "Blizzara!" Black Mage held out his staff again, but this time it was another burst of ice and cold. Ganondorf was frozen into a statue. "Nice…" Mage looked at the villain-sicle, and twirled his staff. "BOOST!" His body took on a red glow, and he pulled back on his staff for a strong slam, and swung forward.

Ganondorf's eyes opened inside the ice, causing Mage to hesitate. Ganon burst out and grabbed the jeweled end of the staff. "Better, but still not strong enough." He squeezed down on the diamond and it exploded, knocking Black Mage away and incinerating his staff. He held his greatsword in the air, causing it to glow with black light, and carved a deep gash into the Falcon Flyer's armor. "Now stop holding back! I know you can do more than this!"

"You… you broke my staff…" Black Mage got up. "I'm gonna STAB YOU!" He gestured, and a dagger appeared from each sleeve of his robe. "DIE!" He threw one of the daggers, and it landed cleanly in the left knee joint of Ganondorf's leg armor, causing him to yell and drop to his knees. "FIRAGA!" A huge blast of fire erupted from Mage's hand, roasting Ganon and blackening his skin. "BOOST!" Mage charged forward with his other dagger extended and glowing, and slashed Ganondorf across his burnt face, gouging his eyes. "HEEHEEHEE! STABBY RIP STAB STAB!" He pulled back and drove the dagger deep into Ganon's forehead. "It wasn't my favorite staff anyway," Black Mage laughed as Ganon's lifeless form keeled over.

---

"What?!" Bowser yelped. "There's no way that mouthy twerp has that much power!"

"Is it over already?!" Link asked angrily. He was furious that this person had so easily slain the foe that Link had never permanently been able to rid himself of.

"Wait," Mewtwo said calmly. "I'm sure Ganondorf isn't this weak. Watch carefully for any sign of trickery."

---

Black Mage suddenly turned at the sound of something crackling with energy. The gash Ganon had scored in the Falcon Flyer was glowing violet, and sinking deeper. It was starting to spread wider, too… Suddenly the Falcon Flyer shook violently and split in half. "WHOA!" Black Mage jumped safely to a car and watched as the two pieces of the Falcon Flyer crashed into the track, destroying much of it (and killing some racers). "Delay effect explosive magic in the sword… powerful stuff…" Mage mumbled. "Didn't save him, though."

"**YOU MISSED.**" Black Mage was suddenly grabbed by a huge meaty hand behind him. He turned his head as best he could. It was Ganon, alright, but not the same: his face had become feral and boarlike, and he had doubled in width. His armor had also cracked due to his widening body. Ganon tossed Black Mage into the air, and batted him away with the flat of his greatsword, laughing maniacally. Black Mage managed to grab onto a racer and climb onto that, but the second he did, Ganon casually flicked his sword, splitting the racer in half.

---

"Looks like we didn't have to keep our eyes peeled after all," Isaac said grimly.

"In his Dark Beast form, Ganon loses things like subtlety and culture," Mewtwo laughed. "We're lucky he never lets it loose during mealtime."

"Yeah," Mario agreed. "Wario will-a be bad enough."

"OI!" Wario yelled.

---

"Crazy mother!" Black Mage jumped onto a floating platform suspended by rockets. "THUNDAGA!" A series of powerful lightning bolts struck Ganon in the chest, stunning him. "This is my favorite rod," he said. A staff made of solid platinum, with a red diamond tip, appeared in his hand in a flash. "Now… GRAVITY!" A dark field materialized around Ganon, but he just steeled his stance and laughed again. "You think you can stand the heavy G's, eh Miss Piggy? Fine! DEMI!" The gravity field grew stronger. Ganon simply strengthened his stance even more, but a screeching sound made him look down. The strong gravity field was pressing the F-Zero car into the ground, overriding its G-diffuser system.

"**UH-OH.**" The car exploded, sending Ganon rolling along the bare track. Ganon rolled along, being bashed by a few racers, before he drove his sword into the ground. He groaned and pushed it in farther, and the sword slid under him as it pulled him back, tension building inside it. "**DETONATE!**" The sword exploded in a purple flash, and Ganon hurtled back up to Dark Mage, landing on a racer right next to the floating platform. "**SUFFER.**" A dark beam erupted from Ganon's eyes, but Black Mage reflected it with his staff. When it struck Ganondorf, he returned to his default form.

"HA! I powered you down, wimp! WATERGA!" Black Mage conjured a huge sphere of water and hurled it at Ganondorf.

"Actually, you've concentrated my full power into my normal, less… ugly form. I should thank you." Ganondorf flicked his finger at the huge wet globe, and it popped like a bubble, spattering the entire stage with a light rain. "Now, to business." Ganon teleported right in front of Black Mage and pinned him to the ground with one foot. "I'm _eager_ to see what's under your hat…  
he pulled the hat off Black Mage and gasped.

---

Luigi keeled forward and vomited. He had never seen anything so horrible in his life. Everybody else managed to hold their lunches, although there were some close calls, and Pit, Marth, and Nana had to excuse themselves to the restrooms. "That is disturbing…" Samus muttered.

"NASTY!" Joe yelled.

"Where can I get a tattoo like that?" Wario asked.

"I'm going to have nightmares forever and a day," Sonic muttered.

"I hope this guy makes it in," Bowser laughed, "annoying or not!"

---

"GIVE ME THAT BACK!" Black Mage yanked the hat from Ganondorf's grip and replaced it on his head. "That's PRIVATE! BIO!" He blasted Ganondorf point-blank with a green, acidic goo. "Don't. Touch. The HAT. Capiche?"

"Whatever," Ganondorf said. "Nasty stuff you hit me with, but you should know poisons don't affect me. I'm not weak like Mewtwo was." He reared back. "WARLOCK PUNCH!" Black Mage jumped backward, but the black magic gathered around Ganondorf's fist doubled the reach of the punch and slammed Black Mage backward into the flying black sphere used to hold an announcer. "Now, feel my true power!" Ganondorf jumped toward Black Mage.

"Ow…" Black Mage was badly beaten and bruised. "Drain!" A lance of green energy extended from Mage's staff into Ganondorf's chest, causing Ganon to yell in pain and healing Black Mage's wounds. "BLIZZAGA!" A whirlwind of sheer cold exploded from Black Mage's staff, catching Ganondorf and hurling him into a nearby racer, which managed to not explode. "I'm tired of fighting you, Ganny! I'll finish this now!"

"Just try!" Ganondorf created a large sphere of dark energy in front of him, and punched it, causing it to split into a dozen smaller orbs. These orbs all flew forward, converging on Mage's location.

"Aww, Ganny thinks he can still beat me. WARP!" Mage warped in front of Ganondorf and swept his feet forward, knocking Ganondorf onto his hands and knees. Mage drove the jeweled end of his staff into Ganon's face, and was rewarded with a satisfying _crack_ and the sight of Ganon's nose going crooked and beginning to ooze blood. "Not quite stabbing, but it'll do."

Ganon wiped the blood from his face and stared at it. "I… I'm bleeding? You broke my noze?" He asked, his deep voice distorted by his nasal passages flooding with blood. He suddenly began to laugh. "AHAHAHA! My nozhe… HAHAHA… you… you broke… HAHA… broke id… BWAHAHAHAAA!!"

"Most of the people I've gotten to bleed like this don't start to crack up like this…" Black Mage said nervously. "If you wouldn't mind reacting in a sane manner, it would really reassure me here, so..." Ganondorf cut him off by grabbing his hooked nose and snapping it loudly back into its original location, stopping the blood flow (although his face remained dripping with his own blood). "JEEZ LAWEEZ!" Black Mage jumped. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"It hurt anyway," Ganondorf replied, getting up. "And now I can really go down on you like a hurricane on New Orleans!" He let a spark of black magic crackle in his right hand, and it soon solidified into a new sword. It was a very evil-looking hooked broadsword, with a black blade and a skull pommel. The blade continued to crackle with darkness even after it solidified. "DIE!" Ganon swung his sword horizontally, and Black Mage ducked easily under the high swipe. Ganon had predicted this, however, and swung one foot out, knocking Mage's pointy boots out from under him. Before Black Mage even touched the ground, Ganon had struck out with his other leg and slammed Black Mage backwards forcefully. He then leapt after Black Mage, bringing his sword up over his head.

"No… I'm not going to die… DEATH!" Black Mage waved in midair and a black skull-shaped blast of energy shot from his hand. Ganon simply swatted it aside with his free hand. An all-purpose kill spell like that wouldn't work on something as strongly suffused with black magic as Ganondorf (who had begun to refer to himself as the Villain of Time). Ganon lashed downward with his sword, but Black Mage blocked it with his staff. Ganondorf let his momentum pull him right over Mage, and charged dark magic into his foot before lashing down with it, spiking Mage downward into a car and landing nimbly on the one behind it. Mage rolled to his feet. "FLARE!" A huge explosion happened right underneath Ganondorf's racer, flipping both him and the racer into the air.

Ganon slammed to the ground and rolled to a stop on his back. He groaned, "Ughh… lucky shot…" and opened one eye. The other quickly snapped open. The airborne racer was nosediving straight toward him. "CRAP!" He jumped to his feet, bringing his sword upward as he did so. The sword cleaved cleanly through the racer, and Ganon jumped onto the next racer he saw. As it caught up to Black Mage, Ganon realized there were only three racers left on the track. He grinned. "Time to try out that new trick…" As the cars Black Mage and Ganondorf rode pulled up next to each other, Ganon wiped the blood from his face onto his blade, causing the crackling to intensify. He jumped off of his car and held his sword in the air. "DIN'S… FUNERAL!"

---

"Din's WHAT NOW?!" Zelda, Link, and Young Link yelped in unison.

---

A jet black sphere of flame enveloped Ganondorf in midair. Black Mage could only watch as the sphere spun faster and faster, growing in intensity as Ganondorf floated above and to the side of him. Finally, the flames exploded outward, knocking Black Mage off the F-Zero racers and flipping said racers. They crashed to the ground, burning with the black flames. Black Mage had to stop, drop, and roll to put the flames on himself out. As he stood up, Ganondorf floated to the ground, light as a feather. "Ready to surrender, little man?"

"Ready to… suck my balls?! BLIZZAJA!" A huge whirl of large, sharp blocks of ice exploded from Mage's staff, rushing toward Ganondorf. He slashed at them with his sword, destroying many of them, but more passed him by, shredding his armor.

Ganon looked at all his bleeding wounds as though they were on somebody else's body. "You call that a cold spell?" He asked, inspecting one wound that was particularly deep. "I can show you a real cold spell."

"No thanks, Suzie Psycho!" Black Mage held up his staff, and a thundercloud spiraled into being right above Ganon. "THUNDAJA!" The cloud let loose a dozen thunderbolts simultaneously, and they all slammed into Ganondorf, creating a flash so bright that even Master Hand tried to block his eyes until he realized he'd never had any. When the light faded, Ganondorf was gone. "Did I get him?" Black Mage asked, then slapped his hand to his face. "I just jinxed myself, and now he's right behind me."

"True," Ganon agreed. "FARORE'S WAKE!" As Black Mage turned to face him, Ganon raised his sword again. A huge blast of ice and wind echoed from the sword. The ice slashed away at Mage's hat and robes, and the wind flung him down the track about seventy feet, where he slid to a stop near a ledge in the track. As Mage got up with the aid of his staff, he realized that the ledge was actually from when Ganondorf had mangled the track earlier by destroying the Falcon Flyer. A forty foot gap had been carved into the track, with the edges sinking downward toward the blue ocean miles below. "THIS IS IT!" Ganondorf called from where Black Mage had stood a moment ago. He ran toward Black Mage, his sword crackling.

"No… NO!" Black Mage raised his staff in both shaking hands. "FLARE!" Ganon rolled to the side, dodging a huge blast of flame that appeared where he had been. "FLARE!" Ganondorf dodged again, and kept coming, now building up momentum. "BREAK!" A brownish blast of energy crashed into Ganon, but he shrugged it off… like Death and Bio, the petrification spell simply wouldn't take hold of him. "QUAKE!" A huge shockwave rolled toward Ganon, but he simply jumped over and continued to charge Black Mage. "Haaa…. FIRAGAFIRAGAFIRAGAFIRAGA!" He released a stream of huge fireballs, and Ganon was unable to dodge them all. One slammed into him, but Ganon simply forced his way thru it, even as it scorched his damaged body. "He's nuts…" Black Mage muttered. "He's nuts and I'm almost out of mana…" Ganon was right on top of him. "FIRAJA!" Black Mage blasted Ganon point-blank, but didn't aim for his face. The white-hot fireball successfully blasted Ganon's sword from his hand, and the dark, magically charged blade disintegrated as soon as it left its creator. "I did it!" Black Mage said.

"Nice try," Ganon agreed. "But…" He brought up his fist and slammed Black Mage into the jaw, launching him straight up. "Your body is still weak."

"OWWWW!" Black Mage launched into the atmosphere, leaving a star-like gleam.

"**Very well. I now declare Ganondorf to be the-**" Master Hand began, but he was cut off.

"DON'T COUNT ME OUT JUST YET, FREAK!" Black Mage was riding down from the sky by standing on a meteor, his staff held high. "METEOR!" A flaming aura encircled the heavenly stone and his body as both reached terminal velocity.

Ganon looked straight into the oncoming celestial object. "I thought you'd try this," he muttered. "NAYRU'S LAMENT!" A sparkling blue aura encircled him, reducing his body to a black silhouette. He reached out his armored hand, and let the meteor crash into him. As the meteor touched the aura, it was ground to dust. Ganondorf's extended hand caught Black Mage, and he held him up as a ring of black ash settled around him. The aura grew brighter, seeming to draw strength from Black Mage. "Nayru's Lament is an interesting temporary invulnerability spell I developed recently," Ganon explained calmly. "Instead of feeding off my mana – which is exhausted by now, unlike yours, good for you – it feeds off my opponent's. If I cannot touch my foe while I use this spell, it will kill me for fuel. If I can, it sucks all the magic out of your body, leaving you temporarily paralyzed and barely conscious. Any more and you'd be dead, and after the spell dissipates, I need only press my thumb a bit to suffocate you slowly."

The spell's glow faded. "I guess I die then, eh?" Black Mage panted.

"Not at all." Ganon dropped Black Mage. "I like you. Welcome to the club. Maybe you could be my apprentice or something."

_Great,_ Black Mage thought to himself as he passed out. _He likes me. And he's totally off his rocker._

"**Black Mage is unconscious! Ganondorf is now REALLY the winner!**" Master Hand announced.

Ganondorf grabbed Black Mage and teleported to the announcer's box. "Ganon, don't those wounds… you know, hurt?" Bowser said, pointing to the many deep cuts across Ganon's body, and the messy repair job on his nose.

"Ew… he's tracking blood on the rug," Peach muttered.

"They did at first," Ganondorf replied with a grin, "But now I've gone more or less numb."

"You okay?" Mewtwo asked as he gently took Black Mage from Ganon.

"Oh, lord no. I'll pass out any minute," Ganon replied pleasantly.

"How often does he act this way?" Joe asked Captain Falcon.

"During and after every battle that pushes him to the limit. It's kind of funny. He'll be back to his mean-spirited self in an hour or two, but he might need to sleep it off a bit."

**End of Chapter**

**Thanks to the record voting turnout, Ivy Valentine has been determined to be our next fighter! Woo! I may be taking a break after the next two, but I'm not done yet.**


	10. Chapter 10

**avatar: This one was pretty challenging to write. Becuase these two... they're only human. I can only let them get blasted by so many superpowerful attacks without killing them. I hope all you Ivy fans out there like it.**

**Roy: avatarjk137 does not own any of the videogame franchises contained within. He only owns the contents of this story. Avatarjk137 would now like to issue a public apology:**

**avatar: what're you still doing alive? Oh, yeah, apology time. I'd like to apologize for not having Black Mage use Ultima (how'd I forget that one?) or Hadoken (only since publishing the chapter have I begun to read 8-bit Theatre, which rocks by the way). Maybe if he'd used them, he'd have won. After all, we know Ganon can't stand up to the power of love... or courage... or whatever Link and Zelda's triforce pieces represent.**

**Chapter 10**

**Marth vs. Ivy**

"**Attention Smashers and potential Smashers,**" Master Hand announced once they were back in the lobby. "**Our next match will be held in a new location…**" He reached out and pulled a curtain off a wall, revealing several new gates. "**Please proceed to the Lost Woods gate!**" There was general cheering at the inclusion of new stages, especially from Link and Young Link, who already knew the area… probably.

After they were all inside, they took a look around. The whole area was trees. Trees, trees, trees. There were several thick branches and vines, however; it looked like a canopy battle forty feet up was entirely possible. The vines tangled themselves from branch to branch, forming sloped platforms, flat platforms, springy platforms that sank underfoot… all kinds of platforms. A thick mist filled the forest, which combined with distant Wolfos howls to make the whole place very eerie.

"**Today's challenger is none other than the beautiful and deadly Isabella Valentine, better known as Ivy!**" Master Hand pointed, and a woman strode from the mist. Despite being moderately young, she had short, snow-white hair. She wore a skimpy, purple leather outfit that wasn't much more than lingerie, but she also wore stiletto heels and a golden gauntlet that covered her entire left arm, including the shoulder. In her other arm, she carried a plain-looking long sword.

The Smashers knew that sword wasn't as plain as it looked. They were expecting somebody from the Soul Calibur realm to show up since Master Hand announced that non-Nintendo characters would be there. They had spent an hour considering which one it would be. "Ivy?" Link asked. "Who's fighting Ivy?"

"**Marth is,**" Master Hand replied calmly.

"Um, alright." Marth walked up to Ivy and took a fighting stance.

"I can tell by your stance that you're a noble," Ivy sneered, a strong British accent present. "I was raised by a noble. Then I found out the Valentines adopted me and my real dad was a crazed ghost pirate, so that sort of ruined it for me."

"Okayyyy…" Marth said. He couldn't let himself be distracted. He had heard that Ivy was a ruthless fighter.

"**Begin!**" Master Hand yelled.

Marth immediately darted toward Ivy, slashing at her with his blade. Ivy parried every strike with her sword or her gauntlet. She brought her sword forward, and Marth dodged. Ivy grinned as she drove the point of her heel into Marth's shin; he had fallen for her trap. "Ughh!" Marth stumbled backward, but managed to keep his balance. She slashed forward with her sword, and Marth parried and quickly countered. Ivy wasn't fast enough to entirely dodge, and Marth's sword slashed a shallow cut on her exposed right shoulder. She growled and slashed at Marth again. This time, when he blocked her blade with his own, her sword snaked out. A central wire in the blade stretched out and wrapped around his blade, her sword splitting into segments and evenly spacing along the wire. She yanked and her sword, now a whip with blades, pulled his from his hands, burying it in a tree branch forty feet up behind Ivy. "That's… unfortunate," Marth muttered.

---

"Wow," Bowser laughed. "Marth's really out of practice."

"Why's that?" Vyse asked.

"Poor guy," Peach said, shaking his head. "He fought Dr. Mario six weeks ago and broke his sword arm. Since he had been fighting Dr. Mario and had called him some mean names, Doc refused to treat the arm and I had to do the best I could with normal medicine. He's only been swordfighting again for two days."

"He doesn't have a chance," Samus sighed. "I've watched Ivy work. She even scares me sometimes."

---

"Your skills aren't all they're cracked up to be," Ivy grinned. She swung her sword, and this time all the segments flew straight off the wire, glowing. As Marth glanced at the flying bits of sword, she spun Marth around and grabbed him from behind. "SUMMON SUFFERING!" As she held the struggling swordsman in place, the pieces of metal did a 180 and shot towards Marth. Each one slashed its way across his chest, carving a deep gouge in his armor and drawing blood. After drawing blood, each segment neatly fitted itself back onto her blade. Ivy let go and Marth fell to the ground, moaning and clutching his bleeding chest. "You're _pathetic_."

"Ow…" Marth rolled away as Ivy tried to drive her stiletto heel into his spine and rolled to his feet. _I've got to get to my sword…_ He charged Ivy, surprising her. He jumped, and using his Smasher training, was easily able to clear her head. He then double-jumped, planting his feet on the bark of a tree. _Now I've just got to wall-jump between these trees up to my sword, and I can bring the fury down on… her?_ Suddenly, he felt the blades of the whip wrap around his waist, cutting shallow wounds in him and squeezing the breath from him.

"IVY LICK!" Ivy yanked her whip handle and pulled Marth back to the ground, where he landed hard at her feet. The segments of the blade solidified back into a sword, and she brought it up, pointing downward as if she was going to skewer Marth's already wounded torso.

Marth rolled away, but she plunged her blade into the ground anyway, and the last few segments came up right next to Marth as he got up. "Eep!" Marth dodged around the blade and began running. Ivy plunged her blade into the ground again, and Marth jumped instinctively. The tip of the sword still caught his ear, drawing more blood from that.

Marth hid behind a tree. _Alright. I have to climb to my blade more cautiously or she'll do that pull-down thing again. Right. Do that and I'm home free. _He checked around the tree nervously. Ivy was spinning in a crouch, the whip circling around her. It had begun to catch on fire. _That can't be good._

"Be… STILL!" Ivy jumped up, and her whip swung in a wide horizontal arc, slicing right thru several trees, including the one Marth was hiding behind. If he hadn't ducked, the blades might have beheaded him. The tree he had been hiding behind fell away to the side with a crash, but he remained crouching behind the stump. "I know where you are," Ivy said, coiling the whip around her. "GO THERE!" The whip lashed out, the tip sparking, and slammed into the spot where Marth was sitting like a bolt of lighting, blasting him forward with force.

"Ugh…" Marth struggled to his feet. Not even a direct hit, but it still hurt like hell. _I'll have to fight with what I've got._ He grabbed a tree branch with a pointy end and jumped toward Ivy. "I'll destroy you!" He cried out.

"I doubt it," Ivy laughed. She sidestepped and grabbed Marth by the cape. She spun on her toes using his momentum and flung him into a nearby tree that was covered in vines, and sent her lash after him.

"AHH!" Marth dropped from the tree and the lash struck the vines, severing many of them. As the vines dropped around Marth, he looked around. _THERE!_ _Another pointy stick!_ He grabbed the stick and ran toward Ivy. _This'll be easy, she's just crouching there… where's her whip?_ He looked down, and noticed what he thought was another vine he was running along was bladed… and glowing. "Oh, shi-YAHH!" Ivy pulled the whip up, launching Marth spinning into the air. Marth dropped his stick and wildly flailed around, finally managing to grab hold of a vine hanging from a branch. "Can't you go the honorable route and let me retrieve my sword?" He asked hopefully.

"Can't _you_ go the honorable route and SHUT UP AND DIE?! EXTEND!" Ivy shot her sword back up toward Marth. He screamed and swung back and forth, dodging the Ivy Licks to the best of his abilities, causing more vines to fall. "SILENCE!" Ivy thrusted the bladed whip forward again, and it caught a strap of Marth's damaged armor, knocking the left shoulderpad off. Marth finally climbed up to a bridge of vines between two thick branches, finding he could easily stand. He sighed in relief and walked toward his sword, but yelped and jumped as the tip of Ivy's sword popped up directly behind his heel, slicing his cape in half. The sword's tip embedded itself in a slightly higher tree branch, and Marth ran toward his sword as Ivy pulled herself up. "You won't suffer… much," Ivy offered as Marth ran to the branch at the far side and jumped from it.

---

"Impressive," Mewtwo said.

"It's not impressive that Ivy's beating the shit out of Marth," Zelda said. "He's unarmed and only knows sword techniques and a few throws!"

"No," Mewtwo corrected. "It's impressive that Marth hasn't slowed down from all the pain and blood loss yet. And Roy was killed yesterday, that's got to be screwing up his mental state."

---

"YES! GOT IT!" Marth grabbed onto his sword, and was immediately rewarded with the painful sensation of Ivy's whip catching his ankle and pulling him back down to her. He landed at her feet again, and she brought up her heel with a smirk. "NOT TODAY, WHORE!" He blocked her stiletto with the blade of his sword, and rolled to his feet.

"WHORE!?" Ivy brought up her heel and wrapped her sword around it, causing them to immolate with flames. "HEEL EXPLOSION!" She slammed her heel forward, reaching deceptively far. Marth jumped back and away, but the vines and branches were lit on fire, and began to burn through.

"Uh-oh…" The bridge collapsed, sending both Marth and Ivy into a freefall. "YAAAAH!" Marth got below Ivy, then shot up with his sword out in a Dolphin Slash. Ivy blocked with her gauntlet and let her sword into its whip state, then laughed as it spiraled around her body like a Christmas tree. Marth was struck in the back, and hit the ground belly-down. "Oww…"

"Fool…" Ivy laughed just before she landed on her feet. However, her stiletto heels weren't made for a forty-foot drop, and she sprained her ankle. "NO! CRAP!" She limped to her feet. "I can beat you in a stationary position," she said, a bit less confidently than she meant. "I still have my Valentine!" She whipped Marth's feet out from under him to punctuate her statement.

"Not for long!" Marth ran toward her. "DANCING BLADE!" He carried himself through a fancy sword combo, knocking Ivy's blade from her hand. "How does it feel to be in my position?" He asked as he held his sword at Ivy's neck.

"Never judge a woman helpless," Ivy said with a grin. "HAA!" Marth was dumbstruck as the tip of Ivy's whip lashed over her shoulder and rammed itself into his chest. As he began to gasp for breath, the rest of the blade pulled itself up over Ivy's shoulder to stick in Marth's ribs. "My blade is alive due to dark magic," Ivy crooned as she pulled the sword from Marth and it wrapped around her affectionately. "A trick like knocking it away won't work. Now…" She brought up her knee into Marth's gut, causing him to double over in pain, but also hurting herself. "MY GODDAMNED ANKLE!" She grabbed Marth and wrapped her sword around his neck. "DANCE!" She flipped him over her back, then fell to her knees clutching her ankle and swearing again.

"Ugh…" Marth got up, and saw her in a moment of weakness. "NOW!" As Ivy got to her feet, Marth used his blade to sweep them back out from under her. "TO VICTORY!" Marth thrusted his sword downward toward her throat, but she blocked by grabbing the blade with her gauntlet and hauling herself up. "NO!" Marth slammed her head with the pommel of his sword, driving her back, and slashed at her, scoring a shallow cut in her stomach.

"I will not be defeated," Ivy growled through gritted teeth, "BY THE LIKES OF YOU!" Marth darted forward, but Ivy laughed and spun her sword in front of her, creating a circular wall and forcing Marth back. She then pulled back her arm, and the whip floated around it as it began to light aflame again. "Be still!" She thrusted her attack forward, and the bladed cyclone of an attack slammed right thru Marth's guard. "SQUIRM!" She pulled her sword back, and stabbed forward, causing the tip to shoot straight at Marth's throat.

---

"This is so exciting," Black Mage said thickly through the popcorn he was eating.

"Yeah," Shina agreed. "Ivy's strong and ruthless as anything, but she's not built tough like I am; you can see it in the way she moves. If Marth gets just a couple of good hits in, it's over, but that crazy sword thing is near-impossible to get through.

---

"WHOA!" Marth ducked under the blade. It nicked through another strap of his armor and kept going, embedding itself in a tree. The strap gave way and Marth's armor fell apart as he charged forward, revealing the torn and bloody dark shirt underneath _At least I won't be weighted down now,_ Marth thought grimly. "YAHH!" He stabbed forward, and actually managed to slice a deep gouge in Ivy's non-gauntleted arm. She snarled and pulled her sword out of the tree. "DOLPHIN SLASH!" He slashed upward, soaring into the air. She blocked with her gauntlet, leaving a deep slash in it. Marth flew into the air, and pulled his sword up to come down with a downward slash. "Shield…"

"Ivy Lick!" Ivy shot out her sword again, but Marth dodged.

"…BREAKER!" he finished, and Ivy blocked again, but the force of the slash destroyed her gauntlet's forearm piece and slammed her back against a tree. She pulled back her sword, ready to slash a backhand blow at Marth.

"It's time to die. CRUCIFIXION!" She slashed forward. Marth ducked under, but Ivy punched him in the face with her free hand. It still had the clawed hand of her gauntlet, and Marth fell back from the full force of the blow. "DANCE!" She thrusted her blade at him, but he parried and countered, slashing a deep wound across her stomach. "No… this cannot be…" she sank to her knees.

"Sorry to end it this way!" Marth grabbed her sword, and made a motion to stab her with both blades at once. The Valentine curved in on itself and slashed Marth's wrist, causing him to drop it. "The hell?"

"I told you." Ivy got up. "This sword… is MY destiny! CALAMITY SYMPHONY!" She ducked down and thrusted the blade up into Marth's gut, causing him to fly into the air. The blade leapt off its wire and followed, splitting into two snakelike chains of sword segments which followed Marth thru the air and slashed him all over, opening more wounds and driving him higher. Ivy watched as a thin mist of Marth's blood wafted down onto her. "Enough!" She finally cried, pointing down with the hilt of the sword. Marth dropped heavily to the ground in front of her, gasping for air. Ivy laughed and pointed again, and all the segments swooped down and slashed Marth's belly at the same time, causing him to let out an anguished cry. The segments then finally reassembled onto the hilt, reforming a now-very bloody Valentine blade. "I won't let anyone stand in my way!" She yelled to Marth as his consciousness faded.

"**Ivy is the winner!**" Master Hand yelled. "**An excellent match. I was on the end of my… DAMN! I need to hire somebody to personalize metaphors for me and Crazy Hand.**"

"**Let's make biscuits!**" Crazy Hand yelled. Master Hand whacked him with a gigantic rolled newspaper.

Link and Zelda jumped over to help out Marth and Ivy (who couldn't walk anymore). "Hey, Master Hand," Link said, "Marth needs medical attention. Ivy just tore his heart open."

"**I'll... do something about that, I suppose,**" Master Hand said. He snapped his fingers, and bandages covered Marth from head to toe. "**Band-Aids heal everything. Now, to the new stage lobby!**"

**End of Chapter**

**Next chapter will be Bowser Jr. vs... that other person.**

**I won't be holding a poll just yet. Chapter 12's challenger will be a pink-haired girl with an overly large axe. I'm sure some of you know her.**

**I'd also happily like to announce that this fic has garnered more reviews than any of my others, excepting Ask the Brotherhood, which is a special case.**


	11. Chapter 11

**avatarjk137: Hi, everybody. Here's my newest chapter... early! READ THE NOTES AT THE BOTTOM, THEY ARE IMPORTANT! Disclaimer by Xion.**

**Xion: How the hells did I end up teleporting myself here?! Whatever. avatarjk137 does not own the rights to Super Smash Bros. or any other video game.**

**Chapter 11**

**Young Link vs. Bowser Jr.**

"So what-a level are-a we going to next?" Mario asked.

"**Another new one,**" Master Hand announced. "**Delfino Plaza.**"

---

"**Welcome ALL to Delfino Plaza!**" Master Hand boomed. "**Young Link, please step forward. It is your turn to prove yourself, and see if this challenger has what it takes!**" Young Link stepped forward, straightening his belt, and looked around. They were on a floating platform that was slowly cruising down toward the lush tropical city. "**Now, meet your opponent…**" A puddle of red paint appeared on the ground in front of Young Link. A turtle-like silhouette rose from the puddle, and the paint melted away. What remained was a small creature reminiscent of Bowser. He was much smaller, perhaps three feet tall, and he had a red kerchief around his neck. He also held a large paintbrush, dripping with multicolored paint, in his clawed hands. "**Bowser, Jr.!**"

"Heh," Bowser chuckled. "That's my boy!" He turned to Link. "If my boy kills your past self, will you cease to exist?" His smile faded as he thought to himself. _Young Link's pretty tough. I hope my son's been training, or he doesn't stand a chance._

"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Bowser Jr. yelled at Young Link.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot he just learned the concept of profanity," Bowser muttered.

"**Good attitude. You may… BEGIN!**"

"Yahh!" Young Link threw his boomerang at Bowser Jr.'s head, then drew his sword and shield.

He ducked and held up his paintbrush. "Paint whip!" A green string of paint extended from Jr.'s brush, and he lashed out with it. Young Link blocked with his Deku shield, but the whip left a painted gouge in it. Jr. then turned around and blasted the returning boomerang with a blast of fire. "Ha! You thought I'd forget about this thing's return trip, didn't you?" he yelled, his back still turned. Suddenly, Young Link took advantage of Jr.'s distraction and drove his sword into Jr.'s back. "AHH!! Holy shit! You… you pantsless little fag… it went through the shell! AHHH!" Bowser Jr. squirmed around on the ground, trying to get the sword out. Young Link reached forward and yanked the sword out, losing his balance from pulling so hard. "Crap…" Bowser Jr. struggled to his feet. "You little… I'll never let you do that again!" He breathed another fireball, but Young link dodged.

"OIL PAINT!" The paint on the brush turned black, and Jr. painted a circle on the ground around him. He then slid the brush tip along the ground toward Young Link, and a wave of black oil launched itself toward him. Young Link jumped away, but Bowser Jr. jumped over the oil ring and darted forward with his brush pointing forward. "Paint Spear!" A long spike of paint extended from the brush tip, lengthening it to over six feet, and Bowser Jr. began stabbing at Young Link. Young Link blocked every blow with his shield, spattering it in oil, and countered with a spin attack. Jr. blocked, but was still hurled back. "Now… DIE BASTARD!" Jr. began breathing fireballs everywhere. Young Link blocked a fireball with his Deku Shield, but the shield disintegrated under the heat. He backed up, and was immediately caught in the circle of fire created by the oil paint trail. "How you like THEM apples?!" Jr. yelled.

"Gahh…" Young Link put his Kokiri sword in its sheath and pulled out his bow. He loaded three arrows at once and fired at Bowser Jr. Passing through the flames lit them on fire, and Jr. yelped as the Fire Arrows whizzed by him, one grazing his cheek. Young Link fired more arrows, but Jr. spun his paintbrush, deflecting them.

"Magma Paint!" The black paint on the brush turned red. "PAINT WHIP!" He whipped the paint forward thru the firewall into Young Link, slamming his chest and leaving a nasty burn. Young Link staggered back into the far wall of flame, hurting himself even more. "That'll learn ya… huh?" The platform touched down in Delfino Plaza. "Ah… the memories…" Jr. reminisced. Young Link pulled a mask out of his pocket and placed it on his face. The mask solidified around his head, and began to glow, causing him to scream. "What now? Is your tunic on fire?" Jr. asked.

"RRRRAAAHH!" A Goron came rolling out of the ring of fire, and slammed into Bowser Jr, bowling him over.

---

"So that's what he's going to use to fight Bowser Jr…" Link nodded. "Good choice…"

"Your son is good with that paintbrush," Ivy nodded.

"You might even say he's a BATTLE ARTIST," Bowser cracked.

"Okay, shut up," Black Mage muttered.

---

"Crap! He shapeshifted or something!" Bowser Jr. got up and watched as Goron Link rolled off. "He's not the only one who can, though… PAINT SHIFT!" Jr. spread a layer of paint over himself, and shapeshifted into a translucent blue clone of Mario with glowing red pupils. "Now… good thing I memorized Mario's jumps!" Bowser Jr. triple-jumped to the rooftops and began jumping from roof to roof, chasing the wheel-like creature. "Paint Bullet!" He fired glob after glob of Magma Paint at Goron Link, but no success. The rolling hero was too fast. "Fine then… PAINT JET!" Bowser Jr. jumped on the paintbrush like a surfboard, and it created a jet of paint from the brush on the tail end. He slid forward at high speed, and skidded off the roof, landing alongside Goron Link. "Pull over, asshole!" He leaned in toward Goron Link and punched him. Goron Link responded by swerving and knocking Bowser Jr. off his paintbrush.

He rolled to his feet, and grabbed his paintbrush, changing back to his true form. "Asshole…" Meanwhile, Goron Link hit a dead end and swerved back the way he came. "Uh-oh… Paint Bullet!" Jr. hit Goron Link, but the magma had no effect on his tough Goron hide. Goron Link extended his spikes and rammed Bowser Jr. "AAAAH! CRAP!" Jr. pulled himself to his feet, and had to immediately duck under a pair of Goron fists. "Electric Paint!" The paint turned aqua-colored and began to spark. "Paint Slash!" He painted a broad stroke across Goron Link's chest, electrifying him. "Die!" He connected another Paint Slash into Goron Link's face, knocking away the mask and causing him to revert to Young Link. "Ooh…"

---

"Nice work, son!" Bowser called. "Destroy his stuff one thing at a time! Link's no good without a bag of tricks, young or old!"

"Oh, SHUT UP Bowser! We're trying to watch!" Samus smashed Bowser across the head, producing a hollow gong-like sound.

"Nice," Ivy commented.

"Hi," Samus said cheerfully, shaking hands with Ivy. "I'm Samus Aran. Big fan of your work."

"Same here," Ivy replied, her first genuine smile showing yellow British teeth. "Kraid won't be bothering _you _again anytime soon!"

---

"YAAHA!" Young Link swung his sword forward, but Bowser Jr. parried with his paintbrush. "Rahh…" Young Link kicked low, forcing Jr. to jump up, and drove his shoulder into Jr.'s shell-less underbelly, knocking him away.

"That hurt, you little… little…" Bowser Jr. stopped to watch as Young Link grabbed another mask from his pocket, this time a Zora mask. He slipped it on and began screaming again as it took hold. "There we go again…" Jr. muttered. Zora Link charged toward Jr., slashing at the turtle-demon with the bladed fins on his arms. Jr. tucked into his shell and spun under Zora Link, knocking him over. "Now you die, freak! Paint Spear!" He speared into the ground, but Zora Link jumped away, landing in the canal running through Delfino Plaza. "Where'd you go?" Jr. looked into the canal. "Come out and play, bitch!" Jr. was looking into the canal when Zora Link surfaced on the other side, facing Jr.'s back. He pulled back his arm, and launched his fin like a boomerang.

"AAH! My head! Crap!" Jr. almost dropped the paintbrush. "Fine, we'll play it your way. Paint Shift!" He transformed back into Shadow Mario. "Bet you can't hit me. NYAAH!" He blew a raspberry, his tongue a bit larger than the real Mario's. Zora Link threw another pair of boomerang shots, but Jr. jumped over both. "Eat this! Electric Paint… Paint Whip!" He shot out the whip of paint again, but Zora Link grabbed the tip of the whip. He concentrated, and the electrical current reversed, shocking Bowser Jr. "Ow! Stupid electric eel crappy merfolk…" he stumbled back, dazed, and one of the fin-rangs caught him in the shoulder, slicing his left arm off. "Oh… that's bad." The paint flowed up the shoulder, reforming the Shadow Mario disguise's arm. "Okay, all better. GODDAMN, do I love this paint!"

---

"I actually think this is a great fight," Ganondorf said. "I don't think too much of Young Link, but they're both really surprising me."

"Indeed," Mewtwo agreed. "Truly, they are the Smashers of the next generation." Ness looked angrily at him. "As are you and the Ice Climbers, Ness."

"If Master Hand doesn't kill Young Link for losing," DK pointed out.

"Yeah, I think we've had enough blood and gore from Ivy's fight," Diddy muttered.

---

_I'll have to yank the fish from the water,_ Bowser Jr. determined. "Alright then… TOXIC PAINT!" The paint took on an indigo hue. "Paint Drizzle!" He pointed the brush straight up, and a torrent of paint shot straight up, sprinkling down in a thin rain. However, this paint slid easily off of solid surfaces, pooling on top of the dense water. "Drink up, ya stupid fishie!" Jr. crowed happily. Zora Link began showing signs of pain, grabbing at his gills desperately. Finally, he shot straight up out of the water, landing in front of Jr. "Finally." Zora Link began slashing forward with his fins, but using all of the agility he had gained by matching Mario's moves, Bowser Jr. dodged every slash. Zora Link finally lashed out with his foot, tripping up Jr., and followed up with a high kick, knocking him away.

"Fine then," Jr. said, getting up, and wiping his face. "Magma Paint! Paint Tackle!" The coat of paint that made up his Shadow Mario form turned to burning-hot magma, and he shoulder-tackled Zora Link, burning him and knocking him back into a palm tree. He tried to tackle Zora Link again, but the fish-hero crossed his arms and created an energy field, repelling Jr. "Douche… PAINT WHIP!" He licked a whip of Magma Pain over Zora Link's head, snapping the palm tree in half. The tree's crown fell and crushed Zora Link. "HAA! Bowser Jr. stuck his tongue out again, and began to walk away.

"Ugh…" Young Link pulled himself from the tree, now without his Zora Mask. He notched an arrow in his bow, and it glowed with magical sunlight. "HAA!" Young Link let loose with the Light Arrow, knocking the paintbrush from Jr.'s hand. As Jr. turned around angrily, Young Link shot another Light Arrow at him, destroying his Shadow Mario disguise. "Hwaaa…" Young Link pulled out his Hookshot, pulling himself to the top of the next palm tree over. "Yahh!" He fired three arrows at once, and hit his target with all three. Jr. tucked into his shell just in time to block them, spun over to his paintbrush, and grabbed it.

"You're in for it now, fag!" Jr. pointed the tip of the brush away from himself and Young Link. "Paint Rocket!" The Magma Paint shot from the brush in a high-velocity cloud, launching Bowser Jr. toward Young Link and igniting the spot where he'd just been standing. "Paint Spiral!" He performed a spin attack with the paintbrush. Young Link let out a battle yell and swirled his Kokiri sword in a Spin Attack of his own, knocking them both backward and burning the tree as the attacks connected. "He could've done better," Jr. laughed as he landed. "Huh?" A Bombchu slid down the tree and straight to him. "Uh-oh…" The resulting explosion smashed Jr. backward through a second-story window into Delfino Plaza's jail. "This is awfully ironic…"

---

"Go Young Link!" Zelda screamed. "Beat that little monster!"

"You can _do _it!" Luigi added supportively.

---

"Alright!" Jr. jumped from the prison, only to have Young Link immediately pounce at him. He blocked two sword swings with his paint brush, rolled under Young Link's feet, and blew a fireball at him, forcing him to jump out of the way. "Time for some serious paint action! INK!" The paint on the brush tip changed to simple dark blue ink. "Now…" he inscribed a pentagram on the ground around him. "Magic Circle! Speed Boost!" Jr. began to glow with light. "Now you're screwed!" He dashed forward, moving at twice the speed he'd been going before. Young Link was barely able to parry the brush with his sword, and Jr.'s momentum knocked the short sword from his hand. Jr. kept going straight toward a wall, but tucked into his shell at the last second. "Whirling Pinball!" He bounced off the wall, cracking it, and coasted off at an angle. He hit another wall and bounced off that, traveling even faster now. He then bounced off the tree he'd split in half earlier. "Pinball Shot!" Now moving at maximum speed, he slammed into Young Link's knees from behind, cutting Young Link's legs slightly with his short spines and knocking him flat on his back.

As soon as he hit Young Link he pulled out of his shell. "Oil Paint!" He dragged the brush on the ground behind him as he skidded to a halt, leaving a line of oil between him and Young Link as the young Hylian got up. "Eat FIRE!" He spat a fireball onto the paint line and jumped back, blasting Young Link with the flames as they raced up the line of oil. "Ready to quit yet?" he snickered.

"Ugh… never…" Young Link got to his feet, his tunic burning slightly, and pulled out his bow and arrow again. He fired another arrow, but Jr. deflected the shot with his brush, still snickering.

"Suit yourself… I'll have to try something new on you then, fag. I've been trying this spell, but regular ink won't work for it…" he dipped his brush in the flecks of Young Link's blood on his shell as Young Link grabbed his sword. "Maybe the blood of a hero has enough power…" he inscribed a different symbol on the ground around him, and the blood on the ground crackled with black lightning. "Perfect!" he yelled gleefully.

---

"Damn, that's some magic right there," Black Magic said. "Something nasty, but I don't recognize it exactly…"

"That's a summoning spell!" Zelda gasped.

"That's the one…" Mage nodded. "What've you been teaching your kid?"

"Quite a lot," Bowser chuckled. "If he's gonna take over the family business someday, he'll need to be tough."

---

"SUMMONING STYLE!" Jr. squealed as he jumped straight up. "Dark Piranha Plant!" A jet-black Piranha Plant exploded up from the summoning circle, it's slavering maw filled with rows of jagged yellow teeth. Jr. landed on it's head. "Attack the little elf!" He pointed down at Young Link. The plant roared and reared back.

Young Link sighed and pulled his arm back. With all the strength he could muster, he threw his Kokiri sword, then immediately began rummaging around in his pockets. He found a mask of a cruel, tattooed face and put it on, then began screaming as it took over him.

"AAGGHH!" The Kokiri Sword lodged in Jr.'s leg just as the Dark Piranha Plant struck. Jr. held on for dear life as the plant bit down on… nothing. "What?" He looked down, but Young Link was gone. He looked up, and a figure was standing on a nearby rooftop. He looked like the older Link, but he wore black armor over a white tunic. His sword was a massive work of art made of two blades together in a helix. He was adorned with blue and red facial tattoos under his snow-white bangs, and his solid white eyes held none of the kindness reflected in Link's. Fierce Deity Link held his sword in the air, and swung it in a horizontal arc at the Dark Piranha Plant. A wave of energy leapt from the blade, slicing deep into the black flower-bud head of the plant, which roared in agony.

"RRRROOROAAHAHAGGHH!" Fierce Deity Link roared in reply. He leapt from the rooftop and slashed downward with his sword, slicing another deep gash down the Piranha Plant. It bit down on him, but he beat it away with his free hand. As the monstrous plant reeled back, it breathed a noxious wave of gas down onto Fierce Deity Link. He repelled it by spinning his blade like a propeller, then dashed forward and cleaved the Piranha Plant's head from its thick stem. The summoned plant disappeared in a blast of smoke, and Jr. dropped to the ground with a scream.

Master Hand cleared his nonexistent throat. "**I now declare this match to be-"**

"Not quite over!" Bowser Jr. interrupted. "One spell… I have one spell left to cast…" he dabbed the brush in Young Link's blood again, then in his own dark blood dripping from the blade of the Kokiri Sword, still lodged in his stubby leg and preventing him from getting to his feet. "Blood of my enemy, mixed with my own…" he chanted, and finished, "Dark Magic!" He inscribed a pentagram on the ground, then a ring of circles, then an outer ring. "Ultimate Paint Shift!' He and the circle exploded in a puff of smoke. Out of the smoke came a huge and familiar silhouette. It had a long, thrashing tail, huge, curved horns and claws, a spiked shell, and wild hair. The silhouette had no color, though; it was a solid translucent blue, with glowing red eyes. "SHADOW GIGABOWSER!"

"RRRAAAAUUUGHHH!" Fierce Deity Link jumped at Shadow Gigabowser's throat, spinning his blade wildly. Shadow Gigabowser grabbed Fierce Deity Link from the air in his sharp claws, and threw him flat against the nearest two-story building. He then curled into a massive Whirling Fortress, a blizzard forming around him, and spun into the building, demolishing it and catching Fierce Deity Link in an icy storm of debris. Finally, as the demon-masked Hero of Time flew into the air, Shadow Gigabowser blasted him with a stream of fire ten feet wide and four hundred feet into the sky. Fierce Deity Link collapsed to the ground, but struggled to his feet, raising his blade. Shadow Gigabowser grinned and swiped a claw at the blade, shattering it into metal splinters.

"Bow to me, mortal!" Shadow Gigabowser commanded. Fierce Deity Link obeyed and tilted his head forward, only for the mask to fall off and clatter to the ground, transforming him back to Young Link. Young Link regained presence of mind just in time for Shadow Gigabowser to stomp him flat. "Gets them every time," he laughed as he changed back to Bowser Jr.

"**Glad you got me to hold off on that judgement call,**" Master Hand said as he joined in Jr.'s laughter. "**The winner is Bowser Jr.! Now, let's get this place cleaned up!**" Some Wireframes appeared and began to repair structural damage, and Metal Mario and Metal Luigi appeared with FLUDDs on their backs, washing away all the paint and fire left from the fight. Link nervously jumped to the arena and picked up Young Link, watching to see if this would provoke Master Hand. It didn't. "**I like this new arena, and I want the damage cleaned up ASAP!**" Master Hand turned back to the Smashers. "**Shall we go, ladies and gentlemen?**"

**End of Chapter**

**Okay, everybody. I'm showing my hand, putting my cards on the table, and opening up this fic. Your votes have been helpful so far, and I'm going to give you the entire remainders of my plans:**

**Chapter 12: Peach vs. Presea aboard the Halberd**

**Chapter 13: The Ice Climbers versus Banjo-Kazooie**

**Chapter 14: Yoshi versus either King K. Rool or Spyro**

**Chapter 15??? vs. Waluigi**

**Chapter 16??? vs. King K. Rool or Spyro (whichever is not picked for Yoshi)**

**I need help with an opponent for Waluigi, whether Yoshi should face Spyro or K. Rool, and who the other one should fight. I have to do research for some of these fights, so I may not be able to keep churning out one a week. After 16, I'll be fresh out of ideas. Any help from reviewers would be appreciated, and remember, Waluigi and the reptile who doesn't fight Yoshi needs to fight a Smasher who hasn't fought yet!**


	12. Chapter 12

**avatar: thanks to everybody who helped me with suggestions from the last chapter. Today I've got ideas, and I'll need a vote on a few fights that had multiple suggestions, info is at the very bottom. Disclaimer provided by Yoshi and Kirby.**

**Yoshi: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros.**

**Kirby: Nor does he own any other game franchise.**

**Yoshi: He only owns the content of this story.**

**Kirby: Now we were told there was to be a make-your-own-ice cream sundae buffet table...**

**Chapter 12**

**Peach vs. Presea**

"**Hmm, which would be the best destination for our next match?**" Master Hand wondered aloud. "**Ah, here's something new: The Halberd. Come, everybody, let's fight atop Meta Knight's shiny ship!**"

---

The stage's audience area was in the comfortably large bridge of a comfortably large starship. Outside the front window, several floating platforms hovered comfortably. The fighters started on a large, flat platform nestled comfortably atop the bridge of the ship, and various weapons poked out of the starship in a comfortably symmetrical pattern. In the background was a comfortable sunset scene of the planet a few miles below. Oddly enough, nobody would ever look at the ship as a whole and say, "Gee, that's comfortable."

"**Peach, would you please step up to the plate?**" Without waiting for an answer, Master Hand snapped his gynormous fingers and Peach appeared atop the ship, her long pink dress and long blonde hair blowing in the high wind. "**Allow me to present you with your opponent…**" A small girl appeared in the arena. She had a short, blue, sleeveless dress, white boots and long white gloves, and a thick belt with a fanny pack on the back. Her pink hair was tied into long, spiky pigtails. Her large, blue eyes were entirely devoid of emotion, and she hefted an enormous axe easily with one hand. "**Presea. Presea Combatir.**"

Presea stared unblinkingly at Peach, and pointed her huge axe forward. "Probability of victory… high," she said clearly and emotionlessly.

"**Isn't she a cutie?**" Master Hand chuckled. "**You have fun now. Start.**"

"I shall destroy you," Presea spoke in the same unfeeling tone. She darted forward and easily hefted her axe, swinging forward. Peach dodged the attack, but Presea caught Peach on the backswing, knocking her over. "You should surrender," Presea advised.

"If you think I can be defeated so easily," Peach fumed, "you're sorely mistaken." She kicked forward, knocking Presea off her feet. Presea caught herself and got right back up, but Peach had already darted forward, and she slapped Presea's face mercilessly. Peach then delivered a high heel to Presea's gut. "How do you like that?"

Presea cocked her head in confusion, no pain present in her expression. "Why do you fight back? Do you not know you have no chance?" Presea then pulled back on her axe. "Infliction!" She swung the axe upward, knocking Peach into the air, and watched as Peach hit the platform hard and rolled back to your feet. "Destruction!" She jumped forward and slammed her axe downward toward Peach. Peach dodged back, but several rocks exploded upward from the axe-blade and peppered Peach's face and chest. Presea pulled her axe back to a battle-ready position.

---

"Where did Presea get those rocks from?" Donkey Kong asked. "It's a metal platform."

"I think the axe created them," Wario answered.

"The girl gives me the creeps," Captain Falcon shuddered.

---

"Yah!" Peach darted forward with her tennis racket and smacked Presea's face with it. The grid of red lines left in Presea's face quickly faded, and she darted forward to counter Peach. She brought her axe up, but Peach produced… a squirming Toad.

"Help me! Heeellllp meeee!" The Toad cried. The axe blade slammed into Toad, but the force of it reflected backward, nearly knocking the axe from Presea's hand. Peach slapped Presea's face with her tennis racket twice more, but Presea swung with her axe and splintered Peach's tennis racket.

"You are strong, but you are simply outclassed," Presea continued. "BEAST!" She drove her shoulder into Peach's gut, winding her, and spun her axe in a circle. As the axe head hit Peach, a blue lion's head appeared, knocking Peach forcibly off the main platform before it faded. Peach desperately opened her parasol and floated to the safety of a peripheral platform, but Presea jumped forward to follow her, still seemingly unburdened by her large weapon.

_It's got to be her necklace,_ Peach realized. _That red gem shines everytime she swings_. "Ha!" She began pulling out turnips and throwing them, but Presea took wide swings with her axe, deflecting the vegetables and slicing some clean. "Yahh!" Peach swung around and hip-checked Presea, successfully knocking her back a bit. "I won't be defeated easily, Presea!" Peach shouted.

"Do not resist." Presea ran forward, but Peach pulled out a Bomb-omb from her pocket and threw it instead of a turnip. "Earthly Protection!" A green barrier formed around Presea, reflecting the Bomb-omb, which exploded off to the side. She pulled her axe forward and slammed it into Peach, but Peach blocked with Toad again. While Presea was off balance, Peach got out her golf club and swung it into the gem in Presea's necklace. The gem flashed, and Presea stumbled backward. "Wh-what? Where am I?" Presea's face now showed emotion, specifically confusion, as she looked around. Then she shuddered, and looked at Peach, her face again blank. "Do not attempt that again. You will not succeed." She ran toward Peach. "Rising Punishment!" She spun in circles with her axe out, hitting Peach once, twice, three, then four times and nearly knocking her off the platform.

"What on earth is going on here?!" Peach yelled at Master Hand as she got up.

"**I found her this way,**" Master Hand replied pleasantly. "**Just fight her as best you can.**"

"I'll try," Peach said nervously as she ducked under another vicious axe blow. "Hiyah!" She swept Presea's feet out again and slammed her golf club into Presea's face as she rose. Presea took a step back, and Peach pressed her advantage by swinging again, slamming her golf club into Presea's hand. Presea didn't drop her axe, although the blow should've broken most of her fingers. "Don't you feel pain or anything?" Peach panted, holding her club forward.

"Destroy," Presea mumbled in response. She hooked her axe downward, knocking away the golf club. It was thrown off the platform and fell to the ground far below. "Devastation!" She slammed the axe down on Peach, then pulled it back up, pulling Peach into the air. "Deadly Destruction!" Presea flipped into the air and slammed her axe downward onto Peach, slamming them both to the ground, and causing a wave of rocks to hit Peach. "Endless Infliction!" She sliced upward twice, knocking Peach back into the air and tracing two crescent moons, and slammed it back down, grounding Peach again. Finally, she unleashed one more upward moon strike, sending Peach flying into the air with a scream.

---

"Peach!" Mario jumped out of the audience area, into the actual stage.

"Don't worry, my dear!" Bowser added. "I'll save you!" He followed Mario out the airlock.

"They're about to interfere with the fight!" Joe yelled at Master Hand. "Are you going to allow that?"

"**Yes.**"

"What?!" Sylvia yelped. "Why?"

"**I can do whatever the hell I want!**" Master Hand proclaimed. "**And I'm allowing this!**"

---

"I… won't… give in!" Peach opened her umbrella, floating right above Presea, and suddenly closed it and dropped, the umbrella pointing straight down.

"Earthly Protection!" Presea created the bubble-shield again, but this time, the umbrella's tip broke thru, knocking Presea back. "So cold…" Presea mumbled.

"What?" Peach asked as she advanced.

"Beast!" Presea plunged her shoulder forward again, but Peach jumped back, and when the lion's head appeared again, Peach jumped over Presea and kicked her forward. "New opponents approaching," Presea said as she rose to her feet. "Chances of victory dropping sharply."

"Don't-a worry, Peach!" Mario landed next to Peach.

"We're here to help you out!" Bowser landed across from Peach and Mario. "Eat this, little weird girl!" He breathed a stream of fire at Presea, and she jumped out of the way.

"Bowser!" Mario grabbed Peach and pulled them out of the flames' way. "Watch out!"

"Sorry…" He dashed forward and slashed at Presea. She swiftly blocked, and Bowser found that even with all his strength, he could barely push back the little girl's axe. "What's with this girl?"

"It's the gem on her necklace! It's magical or something!" Peach pointed out. Presea ducked and swept her axe low, knocking Bowser down on his belly, and then in the same motion swung the axe behind her and slammed it into Mario, knocking him away.

"Mama mia!" Mario landed on his feet and shot a fireball, then jumped into the air. Presea blocked the fireball and drove the handle end of the axe into Mario's gut, then turned and slashed a cut across Bowser's cheek. Peach ran forward with her umbrella and struck Presea across the head, making her flinch. Mario Super Jump Punched her into the air, and Bowser breathed a fireball into her, causing her to fall to the ground smoldering.

Presea got up. "Enemies must be defeated." She rolled under Bowser's legs and got in between all three of them. "Rising Punishment!" She did her spinning axe attack again, only now Bowser, Mario, and Peach were all caught in the spiral. Bowser and Mario were thrown away, but managed to grab onto nearby floating platforms. Peach was thrown against the side of the Halberd, and used her parasol to drift back toward Presea.

---

"This girl is so annoying," Black Mage muttered. "She's all, 'You Cannot Win', and 'Surrender or Be Destroyed', and 'Outlook Not So Good'. It's getting hella annoying!"

"That's it!" Meta Knight ran over to the weapons controls. "I don't care if she's tough, I'm not going to let three Smashers gang up on a little girl!"

"**Yeah, okay,**" Master Hand agreed.

"Really? Alright, then! Main cannons online…"

---

"I shall defeat you. There is nothing you can do to prevent this." Presea held her axe at the ready, pointing it at Peach.

"We'll see about that!" Peach grabbed another pair of turnips and threw them, but Presea knocked them away effortlessly. Peach grabbed her frying pan, ducked under an axe swing, and slammed the pan into Presea's face. Presea's head snapped back, and Peach slammed her heel into the gem in Presea's necklace. It flashed again, and Presea screamed and fell down.

"Did-a you get her?" Mario asked as he and Bowser approached her.

Presea got up, in obvious pain as she clutched her neck. "It… it… why? She looked at Peach. "Why did you do that?"

"Well, uh," Peach stuttered, taken aback. "It's controlling you or something, making you robotic and emotionless, isn't it?"

Before Presea could answer, various cannons unfolded from the side of the _Halberd _pointing toward Mario, Peach, Bowser, and Presea. "This is to even out the odds," Meta Knight's voice announced from a speaker. The cannons immediately began firing at Mario, Peach, and Bowser. Several cannonballs struck Bowser simultaneously and knocked him off the platform, where he fell roaring to the ground far below. Mario jumped in front of Peach and began deflecting cannonballs back at the cannons with his cape, destroying them.

"Go away!" Presea yelled, now with anger in her voice. She hooked her axe around one of Mario's feet, disrupting his balance, and a cannonball hit him in the gut and knocked him over.

"Mario!" Peach jumped in front of Mario and brought out the screaming Toad again. Three cannonballs hit Toad, and reflected into a destructive flaming whirlwind that destroyed all the cannons on that side of the ship.

"Whatever," Meta Knight announced. "I'll just come out there myself!"

"**No, you've helped enough,**" Master Hand ordered.

"Yessir…" Meta Knight somehow managed to roll his solid yellow eyes.

"Thank you," Presea said with a smile as she got to her feet. "You saved me from my Exsphere." Her expression hardened. "But don't think I'll go easy on you for it."

"Oh," Peach said. "You… still want to fight?"

"Of course," Presea nodded. "BEAST!" She spun her axe, and although Peach blocked with Toad, the force of the lionhead attack still knocked her hard on her back. The Toad backlash also forced Presea to the edge of her platform.

Mario forced himself weakly to his feet. "Bowser's gone?" Presea nodded wordlessly. Mario grinned, and his eyes sparkled. "Then let's-a get serious." With inhuman speed, he dashed forward and punched at Presea, but she blocked with the handle of her axe. Mario grabbed the handle and spun Presea around several times before letting go. He jumped after her, flying above her, and punched his fist down. "Let's-a GOOOOOOO!"

"Earthly Protection!" Presea protected herself from the damage Mario's spike would cause her, but she was still forced downward into the lowest platform on that side of the stage. Mario thrusted his hands behind him and launched a series of fireballs, propelling himself downward so that when he hit one end of the platform, Presea was flipped into the air.

Mario was about to launch after her, but Peach's voice stopped him. "Mario, let me finish her! It's my fight!" Mario blushed and nodded, and began to jump back to the top of the _Halberd_.

---

"That's the champ for you," Sonic said as Mario reached the top and jumped inside. "What a ham."

"Oh, like you're one to talk," Kirby scoffed.

"Seriously, Mario, just because you're the best here doesn't mean you have to show off and really pound down on Presea like that!" Donkey Kong scolded.

"I couldn't-a help it," Mario apologized. "Peach was in-a trouble."

---

"Let's really finish this now," Presea proposed, hefting her axe and settling into a battle-ready stance.

"I'm fine with that," Peach replied. She drew both her frying pan and parasol and ran toward Presea, parasol-first. "Hyaa!" She stabbed forward with the umbrella, but Presea parried it with her axe. Peach then vaulted over the extended axe and brought down her frying pan, but Presea sidestepped the downward attacked and kicked Peach in the side.

"Fiery Infliction!" Presea brought down the axe, generating rocks that slammed into Peach, then swung the axe back up, launching Peach into the air. She followed up with two upward crescent-moon cuts, slashing Peach. Peach rolled to her feet, and Presea swung the axe at her again. Peach blocked with her umbrella, and slammed Presea across the face with the pan, causing Presea's nose to bleed. She hit Presea again with a pan backswing, and kicked her in the gut, causing the pink-haired little girl to double over in pain. Peach then stabbed Presea with the closed parasol a few times in the chest, opened it, and slapped her backwards with the open parasol. Finally, the princess brought the pan up into Presea's chin, knocking her back.

"I've been a Smasher for five years," Peach explained, breathing heavily. "I doubt you have what it takes to defeat you."

"Well, then," Presea replied as she struggled to her feet. "You're about to be very surprised." She was bleeding heavily from her face where the frying pan had struck her. "Yahh!" She thrusted her axe forward, knocking the pan away from Peach. She then twisted it to the side, and Peach ducked under the axe, but it still clipped her parasol out of her hand. Presea brought her axe back and up over her head. "This will end the battle, one way or another! Hien Messhoujin!" She smashed her axe downward onto Peach.

"Toad, help!" Peach brought Toad up to meet the axe; however, the force of the blow was still enough to knock Toad from her hands, where he rolled to the edge of the platform, barely conscious, and knock Peach to the ground. Presea screamed as the Toad backlash shook her body, but she still kept Peach pinned down under the axe head. Presea then yelled a battle cry, and the axe head began to glow as it gathered energy from the air. Next, she pulled the axe back up over her head again, and the energy exploded, sending Peach rocketing into the air over the _Halberd_ and snapping the platform in half.

"Let's finish this now!" Presea leapt into the air toward Peach, front-flipping end over end with her axe out. She reached the apex of her leap, then began to fall toward the top of the _Halberd_, still flipping. The axe caught Peach in the chest, and she slammed Peach forcefully into the _Halberd'_s upper deck, creating a huge thunderclap, a massive explosion of energy, and a far-reaching spiderweb of cracks out from where she had driven Peach into the hull. Presea dropped the axe and clutched her heart, stepping back. Her Exsphere shined, and the dull emotionlessness returned to her eyes. "I'm all alone now…" she stated, a last bit of sadness sneaking into her voice.

Peach struggled to get up, but coughed and collapsed. "**I hearby declare Presea to be the winner!**" Master Hand declared. Presea blankly grabbed Peach and jumped into the bridge with the others.

"Master Hand, why did you allow Bowser and Mario to help Presea like that?" Pit asked. "Are you nuts?"

Master Hand began to sob. "**I've just… been so traumatized ever since my son Glover ran away from home…**"

Bowser jumped down through the same entrance as Presea, his wings out and his head shaven. "I'm okay, everybody, you can stop worrying about me. You may have noticed I'm missing my well-conditioned red hair, and you would _not believe_ how I got my head shaved on the way back to the _Halberd_, so I'm not gonna tell you."

"Shut up, turtle," Shina said sharply. "Nobody cares."

Master Hand instantly composed himself. "**Ah, yes, anyway, we're going to Icicle Mountain for the next fight, so file toward the exit, everybody.**"

**End of Chapter**

**Couple of notes: Yes, for anybody that remembers Glover (I think it was for the N64?), I do believe he and Master Hand are related, if not necessarily in the father-son position. Also, you may've noticed Hien Messhoujin is the only attack Presea uses that's named in Japanese. That's because Hien Messhoujin is exclusive to the PS2 version (which I don't have), and I only have info from the Japanese of the PS2 version. I've been told it translates literally into 'Bloody Flame Destroy Burn Position', so that's why I didn't use that.**

**NOW FOR THE IMPORTANT STUFF:**

**Chapter 14: Spyro vs. Yoshi (Spyro won by a vote of 4 to 2 to fight Yoshi)**

**Chapter 15: Waluigi vs. either Game & Watch or Wario (probably Wario, but I'm still open)**

**Chapter 16: King K. Rool vs. ?? (still up in the air. Kirby and Captain Falcon have been suggested so far)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Avatar: Yes, I'm finally back to this fic. Unfortunately, I have writer's block on 'Banjo-Kazooie vs. Ice Climbers', so this chapter's been put off indefinitely. Don't worry, I've also got some new fights planned, so no problem.**

**Dimentio: Yes, no worries, all you huddled masses, for avatarjk137 - who, by the way, doesn't own any game franchises, only the story contained within - has some new ideas. I want all you lovely reviewers to speak up if you want my fight to come soon!**

**avatar: Figures that he can't even do the disclaimer without helping himself.**

**Dimentio: Indeed. Now, like all the donuts at a four-hour meeting, I'm gone! _Ciao!_**

**Chapter 13**

**Spyro vs. Yoshi**

"**Ah, Fourside. You can just smell the freshly polluted city night air.**" Master Hand paused in thought as the rest of the Smashers filed through the teleporter. "**Well, I can smell it, and I don't have a nose, so I assume all of you can smell it. Anyway, my next challenger needs no introduction. Okay, he needs one, but just barely.**" A winged shape was flying down, silhouetted in the full moon. As it got closer, everybody could see it was a small purple dragon. He was definitely a quadruped in shape, with two small wings. He had yellow horns and belly scales to compliment his purple scales, and a short blade decorated the end of his tail. "**Smashing Ladies, Smashing Gentlemen, and Gender-Neutral Smashers, I give you Spyro the Dragon.**"

"Thank you, Master Hand," Spyro said, grinning. "It's an honor to finally be here."

"**Sure, whatever. Now for your opponent… ah. YOSHI! You shall be Spyro's opponent.**"

"Right!" Yoshi jumped to a rooftop, and struck a fighting stance.

"**Okay. Well then… BEGIN!**" Spyro immediately began to breathe out a volley of fireballs. Yoshi ran back and forth, dodging the fireballs, and tossed an egg in reply. Spyro dodged the egg, but it exploded, and the concussion knocked him sideways. He caught himself in midair.

"Nice eggs. But can you handle this?!" He spat out a bolt of blue lightning. Yoshi jumped away, but the bolt curved and struck him, singing him and tossing him back. "Guess not. Then you probably can't handle a lot of them, can you?" Spyro blasted bolt after bolt at Yoshi.

"Uh-oh." Yoshi tucked into his egg-shaped shield just before the first bolt struck, reflecting the first one back and narrowly missing Spyro. The other bolts were absorbed into the shield, blackening it. Spyro paused to take a breath, and Yoshi came out of his shield. "Now!" Yoshi tossed another egg at Spyro. Spyro slapped the egg back toward Yoshi with his tail. "HAH!" Yoshi swung his own tail and spun in a 360, reflecting the egg back at Spyro.

Spyro made a move to reflect it again, but the egg exploded in his face, knocking him away. "The hell?" Spyro yelled as he recovered.

"Time release eggs. A new trick I came up with," Yoshi replied.

"Oh yeah? Well, here's a trick for you!" Spyro breathed an intense stream of flame at Yoshi. Yoshi tucked back into his eggshell, and the deflected fire settled in a flaming circle around him. "Bullseye!" Spyro dove toward Yoshi, his tail blade glinting in the combination of moonlight and firelight.

"Yah!" Yoshi threw another egg, but Spyro blasted it with fire. The eggshell cracked away, revealing a hardboiled egg that was blasted back over Yoshi's head. Yoshi lashed his long tongue out as Spyro approached, catching him and reeling him in. He chewed the young dragon a few times, and spat him out into the wall of a building. He then jumped away from the flaming ring while Spyro was stunned, throwing another egg as he jumped backward.

"Ow… that was nasty," Spyro lamented. Then he saw the egg hurtling toward him. "I don't need this." He deflected the egg with his tail, and it sailed high into the air before exploding. "I'd like to see you try that again!" Spyro leapt back into the air and breathed a blue-white stream at Yoshi. Yoshi backpedaled, but the breath formed a cloud where it hit the ground and rushed over Yoshi's legs, encasing them in ice. "Ha! No dodging now!"

---

"Spyro's not bad," Link observed.

"He's been at this a long time," Sonic replied. "I would hope he's good."

"He's good so far," Ike noted.

"What? Who? When did you get here?!" Young Link asked.

"I'm replacing Marth," Ike said matter-of-factly.

"**Marth had a little accident,**" Master Hand said sinisterly.

"**Yeah, an accident,**" Crazy Hand added before vanishing.

"He fell down some stairs," Bowser chuckled. "And I didn't."

---

"Let's see you get out of this one!" Spyro shouted as he charged Yoshi again. Yoshi threw two eggs and shot out his tongue, but Spyro dodged them all and whipped past Yoshi, slashing his side as he passed. Yoshi cried out in pain, and Spyro turned around for another pass. "I can keep this up all night!" Spyro yelled. _And he can't attack me very well when I come at him from behind._

"Hey! You freaks shut up!" A man yelled as he leaned out his high-rise window. He then threw a Bob-Omb at Yoshi. Yoshi yelped and swallowed the bomb with his tongue, and an egg came out his rear.

"An egg!" Spyro breathed a fireball to intercept the egg, but only succeeded in cracking it open. "Uh-oh." He collided with the now-freed Bob-Omb in midair, and the explosion blasted him over to the next rooftop. It also knocked Yoshi free of the ice.

---

"Wow, that was disturbing," Black Mage commented.

"And yet, I am intrigued and envious of Yoshi's ability to do all those egg-based and tongue-based things," DK noted.

"That's really disturbing, but yeah, so am I," BM agreed.

---

"Okay, now you're in for it!" Yoshi tucked into his eggshell and Egg Rolled off the roof he was on, careening through the air. Spyro got to his feet just in time to see the eggshell land on his rooftop and race toward him, rendering him speechless. The egg slammed into Spyro, knocking him over, and Yoshi leapt out of it and landed in front of Spyro. "Ya-WA-HA!" Yoshi yelled as he repeatedly punch, kicked, and tail-slammed Spyro. He finished with a kick that knocked Spyro away.

"That… hurt…" Spyro mumbled. He then saw Yoshi run toward him again, pulling his head back. "You won't get away with that again!" Spyro pulled his own head back, and both fighter slammed their skulls into the other. Yoshi yelled in pain, and stumbled backward, blood dripping down his face. "Here's a tip," Spyro said as he flew back into the air. "Don't butt heads with guys who have horns! Another tip… THINK FAST!" Spyro breathed out a few shards of ice. Yoshi was too dazed to dodge properly, and one grazed him. Another sank into his arm. "Here's some more!" Spyro spat more ice shards at Yoshi, but now he was running and dodging the shards.

"Yah!" Yoshi threw an egg at Spyro. Some of the ice shards sank into the egg, and it went spinning off to the side. Spyro inhaled to breath more chunks of rime at Yoshi, but the egg exploded, hurling Spyro's own ice back at him. A shard pierced Spyro's wing membrane, and he cried out in pain, dropping for a second. He regained air control, but when he turned back to Yoshi, the green dino was surrounded by over a dozen eggs. "Like them?" Yoshi asked with a smile.

"When did you make those?" Spyro asked.

"Just now, while you were distracted," Yoshi replied. "EGG FIREWORKS!" Yoshi threw eggs all around Spyro. They all detonated at roughly the same time, battering the dragon around and preventing his escape. Yoshi threw his last egg and nailed Spyro in the face, knocking him out of the air and causing him to fall toward the streets below. "That's what happens when you go up against a veteran Smasher," Yoshi said matter-of-factly.

"Is that all you've got?" Spyro asked, flying back up the building behind Yoshi. "BECAUSE I'M ONLY WARMING UP!" Spyro breathed out a spray of fireballs. Yoshi jumped away to the next building over and threw an egg. Spyro dodged and breathed a blast of cold at him, and Yoshi jumped again and tossed another egg. They continued this way for a moment, Yoshi dodging and throwing eggs as he ran and leapt from building to building, Spyro dodging eggs and blasting Yoshi with fire and ice. "Can you handle this?!" Spyro breathed more electricity just as Yoshi leapt into the air. Yoshi dodged the first bolt, but the second, third, and fourth bolts all slammed into him and threw him back to the ground, crackling and burnt.

"Cheap shot," Yoshi muttered. "Try this!" He tossed another egg, throwing it harder and faster than usual. Spyro still dodged, but as he did, he found Yoshi right in front of him. "HAH!" Yoshi slammed his skull into Spyro's back, knocking him straight down. "Hmmm!" Yoshi flutter-jumped back to the skyscraper. "That won't keep him down long." Yoshi immediately began producing eggs and placing them around him again.

"Fool me twice, shame on me." Yoshi saw Spyro rise up into the air again, but before Yoshi could react, Spyro blasted one of the eggs with a lightning bolt. The eggs all exploded in a chain reaction, sending Yoshi rocketing into the air. "You won't escape THIS!" Spyro breathed out lightning which formed into a tornado, and Yoshi became trapped. "Perfect!" Spyro flew around his helpless opponent, slashing him over and over with his tail blade. "NOW!" Spyro shot a green shockwave from his mouth. "Taste Earth Breath!" It slammed into Yoshi and knocked him straight out of the tornado. Yoshi hit the rooftop and rolled to a stop. "That combo could kill an elephant. You aren't getting up."

"Obviously… you don't know… much about me…" Yoshi whispered, getting to his feet.

---

"Spyro's got the upper hand with his skill in the air," Mewtwo muttered. "He who controls the skies has already won."

"Agreed," Presea monotoned. "Spyro's chances of victory are very high. I do not believe Yoshi will win."

"You two don't know Yoshi very well, do you?" Peach asked.

"We know he's a lighthearted glutton who's skills just don't measure up to what they were when the first Smash tourney started," Mewtwo chuckled

"Then no, you-a don't know Yoshi at all," Luigi said, smiling through his moustache.

---

"When Mario was just a baby, I always protected him," Yoshi said. "I took attack after attack AFTER ATTACK to save that kid. It wasn't because I wanted to be a hero, or because I knew he would save the world someday. Do you know why I did it?"

"Because… it was the right think to do?" Spyro guessed.

"Because I never give up. When I start something… I finish it!" Yoshi got up and leapt at Spyro. Spyro dodged away, and Yoshi threw and egg before flutter-jumping to safety. Spyro tried to dodge the egg too, but Yoshi was throwing faster than ever, and he was still caught in the concussion.

Spyro shook it off and glared at Yoshi. "You won't have to give up. Your other options are to pass out or die!" Spyro blasted a stream of fire at Yoshi, who dodged and jumped to a platform suspended on a crane. "Wrong move, Yoshi. Now you're cornered!" He let loose a wave of the green Earth energy, trapping Yoshi in another tornado in midair. Then he flew up to Yoshi and blasted him several times with the Earth breath. "This is it!" He brought his tail blade forward.

"NO!" Yoshi grabbed the blade on Spyro's tail. The natural edge dug deep into his hand, causing blood to drip down his arm, but Yoshi squeezed anyway and a thin network of cracks spread up the blade. The earth tornado, disrupted by Yoshi regaining air control, dissipated, and Yoshi growled deeply, pulled his head back, and slammed it into Spyro's neck, driving him away. Yoshi landed unsteadily on his feet back on the platform and threw an egg, then jumped after it.

"Whatever you're doing won't work!" Spyro attempted to slap the egg away with his tail, but his blade snapped loudly on contact with the egg, and it exploded in his face. Spyro shook it off just in time to see Yoshi get right above him, and then Yoshi was flutter-kicking him in the face, a deluge of boots crashing down on Spyro's body. Spyro fell dazed to the rooftop below, and it was a few seconds before he could shake his head clear. "Where is he?" Spyro asked blearily, before a green light washed over him. "WHAT?! Aliens?" Spyro watched as the massive, ominous UFO passed over his head, a deep hum emanating from it. As it left, he saw a green figure jump off the top. "Oh no you don't!" Spyro flew straight up toward Yoshi, who was now directly above him.

"Brrrring… Hah!" Yoshi front-flipped in the air, and suddenly dropped straight down rear-end-first. He slammed into Spyro on the way down, and the two crashed down to the rooftop below. Spyro was crushed down into the rooftop, and the whole roof developed a web of cracks. Yoshi leapt back into the air with a "Yeh… Hmmmm…" Spyro managed to lift his head, and blasted a fireball up to Yoshi. "Brrrring… HAH!" Yoshi dropped again with even more force, straight through the fireball, and crashed down upon Spyro again, this time splitting the roof and sending them crashing through to an empty hotel room below. Spyro gasped and coughed, and Yoshi jumped up to the roof above again, and then back into the air. "Yeh… yeh… Hmmmm!"

"No," Spyro wheezed. "Not again! I won't let you do it again!" He shot another tornado of earth energy back up toward Yoshi.

"Brrrring… **HAAHH!**" Yoshi dropped toward his opponent with meteor force. He collided with the tornado and plummeted right through, and the whirlwind's only effect was that Yoshi now spun like a top as he fell. There was a resounding _BOOM _as Yoshi slammed into Spyro's struggling body again. Yoshi jumped clear in a cloud of smoke, but the downward force sent Spyro crashing down through floor after floor, headed for the bottom of the building. Yoshi jumped back up to the cracked roof and stared down the deep hole.

---

"How tall is that building?" Isaac asked incredulously.

"It must be sixty stories," Shina said in awe. "That was some attack."

"He's not done yet," Bowser said.

"Really?" Ike queried.

"Really," Kirby nodded.

---

_Master Hand had better give me a banquet for this,_ Yoshi thought grimly. He produced a beautiful golden egg and held it in the air, where it shined in the moonlight. He tossed the egg into the hole, and it began to glow as it fell. "Golden Egg Detonation!"

---

Spyro awoke among the ruins of a crystal chandelier. He was in a hotel lobby as far as he could see, and it had been fancy until he and sixty stories of rubble had fallen into it. He looked up the hole he had crashed down, and was amazed at how long it was. _It's alright. A minute to pull myself together, and I'll still be able to defeat Yoshi. I can still win._ Then he saw a golden light drop down the stack of holes, glowing brighter as it neared him. "What?" was all he could weakly groan after the attack he had sustained. The egg, now shining like a thousand suns and making a faint ringing noise, dropped to the ground next to him and bounced a few feet in the air. "Crap."

---

A massive explosion shook the first floor of the building, blowing out the windows in a plume of flame and destroying the frame. Then the explosion went upwards, blowing out the second floor in a similar fashion. As floor after floor was demolished in a cloud of fire and shattered glass, the building began to tilt and slide downward. Yoshi jumped off to the safety of the nearby helipad and watched through dazed, half-shut as the skyscraper crashed down upon Spyro, burying him in hot shattered steel and concrete. He hopped over to the audience platform, but stumbled when he landed in front of Ganondorf, flopping down onto his chest and chin. "What a lovely buffet," he mumbled. "Where's the make-your-own-sundae table?"

"It's alright-a, Yoshi," Mario said consolingly. "You won. You can rest now."

Master Hand snapped his tremendous fingers, and a burnt, dusty, unconscious Spyro appeared next to Yoshi. "**The Winner is… Yoshi!**"

"That was some egg," Mewtwo observed. "I didn't know Yoshi had it in him."

"I trained with him while he learned it," Kirby said. This was not a surprising fact; Yoshi and Kirby were the best of friends. "He takes the explosive power he would normally save for later eggs and concentrates it all into the one. He won't be able to make his eggs explode again until he's eaten a few Shy Guys."

"**A fantastic battle,**" Master Hand said happily, "**But we must move on to the next one. Please file out back into the lobby.**"

**End of Chapter**

**The fight was kinda short, but I hope you enjoyed it. Here's the current chapter plan:**

**14: Wario vs. Waluigi**

**15: TBD vs. K. Rool**

**16??? vs. Dimentio**

**17: Mr. Game and Watch vs. ???**

**18: Pit vs. ???**

**???: Ice Climbers vs. Banjo-Kazooie**

**Final Chapter: Mario vs. ???**

**These numbers are subject to change based on both my wishes and yours. Except for K. Rool's To Be Determined opponent, the fighters are locked in. K. Rool can fight any Smasher who hasn't fought yet, including the new ones that have been officially locked in, so feel free to opine. And I'm still accepting challenger suggestions!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Avatar: I am truly proud of this chapter. I think it's my longest yet, and I hope it's also my best. This is the fruit of four night's work. Enjoy it.**

**Krystal: Avatarjk137 does not own any game franchise mentioned within, only the contents of this story. If you want to see me get a fight in this fic, please check the end of the chapter.**

**Avatar: And now, without further ado...**

**Chapter 14**

**Wario vs. Waluigi**

"**So…**" Master Hand began as soon as everybody had arrived in the lobby, "**I had some trouble deciding the location of the next match. Eventually, though, in all my greatness, I decided to reveal a new location. Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to the Bridge of Eldin!**"

"Where's the bridge of Eldin?" Peach asked.

"It's in Hyrule," Zelda answered.

"WHAT?!" Bowser Jr. yelled. "Link and his buds get two new levels?! That's no fair!"

"**Be quiet and come with me,**" Master Hand ordered. "**Do you want to find out what happened to Marth?**"

"No sir."

---

"So… who's fighting?" Wario asked impatiently. They sat on top of a stone gate marking the south end of the massive Bridge of Eldin, a stone bridge several hundred feet long and only about ten feet wide, with no barriers on the edges.

"**You are.**"

"Okay, but he'd better… what? I am?"

"**Indeed.**"

"Great!" Wario jumped down onto the bridge, where his motorcycle materialized in time for him to land on it. He drove slowly out onto the bridge, but it was deserted. "Where's my opponent?"

"I'm right _here_." Wario jumped a bit, and turned around. Behind him was a very, _very_ lanky man in black overalls, a purple shirt and cap, pointy orange boots, and white gloves. He had an upside-down 'L' on his hat and gloves in yellow, and a mustache that spiked up on either side, forming a 'W' (or two mirrored 'L's). Blue bags hung under his eyes, his nose was long and pink, his ears were pointed, and he had a sour expression. All in all, he gave a very sinister impression… and a very familiar one.

"**May I introduce…**" Master Hand announced.

"Waluigi, yeah, we get it," Wario snapped, cutting off the giant appendage (not literally). "MH, why am I fighting my brother?"

"Because I'm a nominated Smasher," Waluigi said, counting mockingly on his gloved fingers. "Because you're an _official_ new Smasher, so it's your job to test us nominees. And because I specially requested you."

"Why is that?" Wario sneered. "Because you thought I'd go easy on my little brother? Sorry to burst your bubble, but-"

"I requested you to beat the stuffing out of you!" Waluigi yelled angrily. "You left me out of the Warioware games! I was left all alone, only just barely allowed into the parties and the tennis and golf and soccer and racing tourneys! It sucked! And I want _revenge_!"

"Oh…" Wario looked a bit nervous about his furious brother. "Alright…"

"**GET SMASHING!**"

"Gladly!" Wario regained some of his bravado and charged at Waluigi on his motorcycle. Waluigi waited for him to near, then sidestepped the motorcycle and kicked the side of it hard. Wario spun out of control, but grabbed Waluigi's long, skinny arm in his panic. The motorcycle's momentum pulled it off the side of the bridge, and Wario nearly fell off himself… except that Waluigi was still hanging on with his free hand. Waluigi kicked his brother's helmeted head a few times, but gave up and swung his brother up before pulling himself up. "Thanks, brother," Wario said with a smirk, "I didn't know you cared."

"I wasn't about to finish this so quickly," Waluigi said. Wario growled and ran toward his brother, but before he could touch him, Waluigi lashed out with his long reach and grabbed Wario by the head. He smashed Wario's head into the ground a few times, and kicked him away. "You've gotten out of shape, brother," Waluigi sang. "Too lazy to treasure hunt?"

"I'll show you!" Wario blew a cloud of garlic breath out of his mouth. Walugi began to cough and shut his watery eyes, waving the stench away. Wario took the moment of distraction to shoulder-tackle Waluigi into the ground and begin to pummel him. After landing several blows, Wario got up, lifted Waluigi above his head in triumph, and brought the purple plumber down on his knee. Waluigi shrieked in pain as he rolled to the ground. "Yeah, I didn't think you could beat your big bro," Wario sneered as he kicked Waluigi's struggling form.

---

"You know, I don't know all that much about Waluigi," Peach said. "He's pretty creepy, but he's also pretty mysterious."

"We've hung out a bit," Bowser revealed. "He's not that much like his brother. Wario's greedy and materialistic because… well, he sees something, and he just wants it, you know? But Waluigi's different… he's a bully. He can't feel big unless he tears down everybody else, mind and body. He's not really strong like his brother, but he's a brilliant trickster and he's got creepy powers."

"I have recurring night-a-mares about his a-face…" Luigi whimpered.

"With a face like his, who could blame you?" Ivy asked with a laugh.

---

"Enough," Waluigi hissed, and his gloves suddenly were alight with a dark, violet flame. He grabbed Wario's ankle, burning it, and tossed him away, using the same centrifugal-force fling that Mario and Luigi did. Wario almost fell off the bridge, but stopped just short. Wario got up in time to see Waluigi pump his arms forward in a rapid punching motion, spewing out several fireballs. Wario easily dodged the slow-moving projectiles, but failed to notice Waluigi draw his tennis racket and a ball. He threw the ball into the air, ignited it with a cackle, and served it at a high speed toward Wario. The ball struck Wario with enough force to knock him flat on his back. "15-Hate…" Waluigi noted.

"Shut up!" Wario got up and prepared to attack Waluigi, but he heard a thundering sound behind him. He turned and saw a huge, green horned humanoid monster with beady red eyes riding a massive boar with identical horns in addition to its tusks. The rider was racing down the bridge toward them, and Wario only watched as he produced a bomb. "What the-" Wario began, but he felt Waluigi's hand close around his head and smash it into the ground again.

"You got distracted," Waluigi sneered, but Wario tossed him off, into the path of the boar. Waluigi screamed and was crushed flat, and Wario laughed. He was almost to busy laughing to notice the bomb tossed to his feet by the monster… almost. Wario ran out of the way, and a massive explosion shook the bridge as the King Bulblin retreated. Waluigi and Wario stared at each other from across the gap. "My advantage," Waluigi laughed. He began to pull out more tennis balls, and tossed them all into the air, igniting them.

"If that's the way you want to play…" Wario laughed and drew his own racket. Waluigi served the first ball over the gap, and Wario returned it. Waluigi yelled in anger and returned the ball, following it with another, faster ball. Wario swung and hit both balls, but the second burned right through his racket. He looked at his ruined racket and frowned, then yelled in shock as Waluigi was sending over a dozen burning tennis balls his way. Wario ran back away from the gap in the bridge, but the tennis balls smacked him all over, causing Waluigi to laugh.

"30-Hate," he sneered. He watched in curiosity as Wario got up and brought out his motorcycle, which had rematerialized. "What's he doin' now?" Suddenly, Wario stomped on the ground near the edge, tilting part of the bridge into a ramp. "He's nuts."

"Wahaha!" Wario built up some acceleration and launched himself of the bridge, heading toward his brother with an airborne motorcycle. Waluigi blasted the motorcycle's side with a fireball, and the gas tank exploded, but Wario continued to ride it through the air. As he neared Waluigi, he jumped clear, and Waluigi was unable to react in time to prevent himself from being the target of a flaming motorcycle. It came to a screeching halt on its side with him underneath, and Wario strode confidently over. "Not so tough now, are you?"

"Watch it," Waluigi growled, his eyes flashing bright blue.

"Watch THIS!" Wario's belly began to swell, and he pointed his rear toward his little brother's face.

"Oh… no…"

"Oh, YES!" Wario replied gleefully. "It's the Wario Waft!" He passed a tremendous amount of gas, hurling himself into the air. The gas was immediately lit up by the burning motorcycle, and Wario's height in the air just barely allowed him to dodge the resulting explosion. "_Have a rotten day!_" He dropped to the ground on his feet, and walked over to survey the damage. "What the-"

Where Waluigi had been, there was now a dome of ice with a purplish tint. As the remaining flames raged, the dome began to sweat and melt, revealing a dazed Waluigi inside. He saw Wario, and shook his head clear. He then grinned and lifted his hand, which was emanating intense cold. "The Icebrand," Waluigi spoke reverently, "my birthright." He then grinned at Wario. "You never claimed yours, did you?"

"No, well, I… uh…" Wario babbled, as Waluigi stepped closer, menacing his brother with his icy grip. Suddenly, a large dark portal opened up over their heads, and a humongous chunk of stone fell from it. With a resounding crash, it fell to the bridge, perfectly fitting into the gap blown away by the King Bulblin's bomb.

---

"Where'd that come from?" Captain Falcon asked.

Link and Zelda grinned. "I know where," Zelda said as Link looked toward the portal.

"I'm more interested in Waluigi's new ice power," Ness said. "Do all four of you have an element besides fire?"

"Mario's just-a the best with fire," Luigi explained. "I think Wario's element is-a stone, but he never developed it."

"Why's the ice purple?" Kirby asked.

"Where I'm from, ice is always associated with purple," Vyse said with a shrug. "But in other places, it's blue or white. You never know."

---

"Ready for a real fight?" Waluigi asked with a sneer.

"For fights, gold, and pie, I'm always ready," Wario replied with an identical sneer. Waluigi lashed out with his hand, and a path of ice shot forward from him and under Wario, causing him to slip and fall on his back. Waluigi skated forward on the ice and slammed his knee into Wario's face as the WarioWare creator got up, knocking him away. Waluigi laughed and chased Wario, but Wario rolled forward on the ice and punched Waluigi in the face as he came up. Wario then punched Waluigi in the stomach several times, causing Waluigi to fall to his knees.

"Time to have some fun!" Wario grabbed Waluigi by the shoulders, picked him up, turned him upside-down, and suplexed him into the ground, cracking the bridge. Wario stomped the ground, and a small pillar shot up from the ground near them. Wario jumped onto the pillar, then double-jumped off so he was high over Waluigi and dropped onto Waluigi's chest, helmeted-headfirst. He got up and jumped onto the pillar again, but this time dramatically cupped his hand to his ear, taking obvious inspiration from pro wrestlers.

---

"Woo! Go Wario!" Ganon shouted.

"Yeah! Kill him!" Bowser added.

"Smear the bridge with your brother's blood!" Black Mage suggested.

"Rid him from my life!" Luigi pleaded.

---

After Wario had gotten his fill of cheers from villainous Smashers, villainous nominees, and Luigi, he proceeded to leap of the pillar and elbow-drop down toward his brother. Suddenly, Waluigi's eyes flashed again, and there was a flipping motion…

_Waluigi's_ elbow crashed down onto _Wario's_ very surprised neck. "Now who's having a rotten day?" Waluigi asked cruelly as he got up and stood over Wario. He twitched his hand, and an icicle spike formed over it, which he pointed at his struggling brother's jugular. "Have a lousy afterlife." He pulled back the spike, but before he could end it, he heard a horn blow. Both brothers looked up, and saw the King Bulblin approaching again on his boar mount, Lord Bulbo. "Want to put this on hold?"

"Agreed," Wario nodded. Both of them stood up and faced the nearing enemy. Wario pulled out his motorcycle and got on, Waluigi riding behind him. They motored toward the Bulblin, and the fat monster pulled out a lance and leveled it at them. "Can you take care of that lance?" Wario muttered.

"Yes!" Waluigi blasted the lance with a fireball, melting it. As they passed the disarmed King Bulblin, Waluigi stabbed him in the side with the icicle, which he had still been holding on his other hand. The King roared in pain, but kept going. Wario and Waluigi slowed, did a quick 180, and chased after the King and his boar again. The King pulled out another bomb and blew out a section of the bridge again, and Waluigi charged up violet flame in his hands. "We can jump it!"

"Right!" Wario careened down into the gap in the bridge, and Waluigi blasted especially large twin fireballs downward. This blasted them upward, but not enough. "Uh-oh!"

"I got it!" Waluigi ignited the gas tank again, and the motorcycle exploded up and forward as it began to immolate, hurling it into the sky above King Bulbin. "Want me to set him up, brother?"

"Hell yes!" Wario replied.

"Great!" Waluigi leapt off the flaming motorcycle, and brought out his trusty tennis ball and racket. "Come on…" Waluigi lit the ball and smashed it downward, right into the nose of the boar. It immediately crashed to the ground, flinging the King Bulblin into the air. Wario laughed maniacally as he drove his flaming motorcycle into the King's chest, slamming him back into the bridge.

Wario leapt off the motorcycle wreckage and pulled the horned monster out from underneath. "No more of YOU!" He threw the King off the side of the bridge, and watched him fall. When Waluigi landed gently on the ground next to him, he didn't turn around, but he asked, "Ready for more?"

"Of course!" Waluigi jumped forward in a flying kick, but Wario grabbed him and threw him back. Waluigi flipped to his feet and created a pair of ice blades with his hands, then charged forward. Wario growled and grabbed an exhaust pipe from his ruined motorcycle, and used it to block Waluigi's first attack, a downward strike. Waluigi brought his other blade forward, and slashed at Wario's gut. Wario was too slow to completely dodge, and Waluigi laughed as he drew a bit of his brother's blood. "Come meet death!" Waluigi forced Wario back, swinging his blades, until Wario was nearly at the gap in the bridge.

"It won't be this easy!" Wario blocked Waluigi's double-handed downward strike with a horizontal swing of the exhaust tube, shattering the blades. He kicked Waluigi in the gut, and uppercut him with the tube, knocking him away. "You could never beat me in close combat, brother!"

"I don't have to!" Waluigi snarled as he got unsteadily to his feet. His eyes flashed, and suddenly a pair of blue beams shot from them. The beams swept across the bridge in front of Wario. Waluigi laughed as the beams faded, and waved goodbye.

"Uh-oh." The segment of the bridge that Wario stood on was blown away as a series of dark explosions went off where Waluigi's eye beams had struck Wario and the small piece of bridge fell into the abyss.

"He deserved that," Waluigi laughed as he turned around.

"So do you!" Wario yelled. "Wario Waft!" He delivered a massive fart, propelling him into the air and back up to the bridge where Waluigi stood. "Take this!" Wario opened his huge mouth almost impossibly wide and landed face-first on his brother, shoving Waluigi's entire head into his mouth. "Grlck Brff!" Wario exhaled a blast of garlic breath through his full mouth, causing the rest of Waluigi's body to flail wildly. "Heh! Ptooie!" Wario spat out his dazed brother. "Take this!" Wario jumped and landed with his knees on Waluigi's chest, and began pummeling his face, bashing his nose this way and that. Wario lifted his pounded-momentarily senseless brother and grinned at the audience, beckoning for more cheers from the crowd, and the villains and Luigi responded again.

Wario smashed his brother to the ground, grabbed him again, and jumped into the air. "Wario Piledriver!" Wario spun through the air and slammed his brother into the ground, cracking the bridge again. Suddenly, the missing sections of bridge dropped from the portal in the sky and fell with a crash back to the bridge, repairing it again. The display distracted Wario long enough for Waluigi to grab his face with a shaking hand and blast him with purple flame. Waluigi then kicked Wario back.

"You haven't beaten me yet!" Waluigi snarled, his eyes now sporting a constant blue glow. "Tennis isn't the only sport I play, brother. Up for some soccer?!" He leapt into the air, and pulled out a half dozen soccer balls. He covered half in ice, and ignited half with dark fire, and began kicking them at Wario at high speeds. Wario punched away the first two, but burned his right hand and frost-burned his left. The third slammed into his face, the fourth into his gut, causing him to double over, the fifth into his neck, and the final ball into his… balls.

"AAGHH!" Wario collapsed onto the ground. "I'll throttle ya!" He got to his feet, to see Waluigi had created one last soccer ball. It was icy, but lit with a purple glow from within. Waluigi drop-kicked the icy ball downward toward his brother before falling to the ground. "That won't work!" Wario blasted a wave of garlic breath at the ball, dissolving the ice. However, a dark fireball was hidden inside the ice, and it continued to scream right through the garlic breath and down onto Wario, lighting him on fire. "OwowowowAHAAHHH!" Wario ran around, lit aflame.

---

"Stop, drop and roll!" Bowser Jr. yelled in suggestion.

---

Wario rolled around on the ground and got up, panting. He gave Bowser Jr. the thumbs up, and began to slowly walk toward Waluigi, who was also panting. "Time to show you what I've been doing with my money, little bro!"

"Have you bo… bought a wea… a weapon… strong enough… to stop me?" Waluigi asked with a grin as he held his sides, breathing heavily, his eyes still glowing.

"No," Wario said with a smirk. "I've just been hoarding it! Golden Shower!" He brought his hands up, clenched his fists, and slammed them down.

Waluigi, who had tensed up, relaxed. "I thought you were going to do something _really _disgusting-" He heard a whistling above him, and looked up. Dozens of bags of money, jewels, and loose gold coins and bars were falling from the sky toward him. "Oh… no."

"Oh, yes! Wario said. "What can you do about this, bro?!"

"I can… I can…" Waluigi was gritting his teeth, sweat was running down his brow, and his eyes glowed brighter than ever. "YYYAAAAUUUGHHH!" He screamed, and a violet flash emanated from his entire body. The treasure slowed its meteoric descent toward him, coming to a stop mere feet above his head. He looked around, and everything else had stopped as well, except Crazy Hand, who was still twitching. "I haven't fully stopped time in years," he growled. "I forgot how much it took out of me."

Waluigi walked out from under the now-frozen money, and grabbed Wario. He began dragging his brother back under the money cloud. "I'll just put him where I was, and get clear." He shoved him back under, but then the world around him began to shudder. "NO! I need to get clear! I-" The glow in his eyes faded, and time started up again at full speed. The Golden Shower completed its crushing fall, and both brothers were caught underneath.

"**We have a DRAW!**" Master Hand cried. "**Double Knockout!**" The treasure faded away, revealing Wario and Waluigi both bloody and unconscious, their clothes torn, laying where they had stood. "Go fetch them!" Captain Falcon and Mario leapt out and picked up the pair, and brought them back to the audience platform. "**That was interesting. Now come to the lobby, we must move on to the next fight.**"

**End of Chapter**

**I forgot at the end of last chap: Mega shoutout to Megahog14 for his/her help with Spyro's powers. I could never have written Chapter 13 without that help.**

**Crazy Hand wasn't affected by Waluigi's Time Stop because he's just mad enough that he exists outside of time's flow. I'm very proud of this chapter, especially how they temporarily ally to destroy the King Bulblin, and then continue with the fight like nothing happened. I think that says a lot about their relationship as brothers.**

**Next Chapter is King K. Rool vs... who? I've narrowed it down to three: Donkey Kong (battle of old foes), Captain Falcon (boxing match), or Kirby (battle of people who will attempt to eat each other). I need your votes on which of these finalists will make it in! Also, Krystal was suggested to fight, and I think it's a good idea. So far, I have her slated to fight Solid Snake, but suggestions are still open for that one. I'm also thinking _maybe_ Master Chief vs. Fox. All other fights are locked in.**


	15. Chapter 15

**avatar: Sorry you had to wait a couple weeks for this one. To make up for it, I think it's, again, longer than all the previous fights. I made King K. Rool very crazy; I hope I didn't overdo it, I haven't played a Donkey Kong game in a while. Also, I'm introducing Pokemon Trainer this chapter.**

**Pokemon Trainer: avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros. or any other game franchise contained within. He only owns the contents of this story.**

**avatar: Not much personality seasoning here. Don't go getting your hopes up for him to get lots of lines.**

**Chapter 15**

**Donkey Kong vs. King K. Rool**

"Who the hell are you?" Shina asked. They had just gotten back to the lobby, and were greeted by a young teenager in a red, white, and black jacket, blue jeans, black and white sneakers, a red and white cap, and a yellow backpack.

"I'm the Pokemon trainer," the Pokemon trainer replied. "I'm a new Smasher."

"He's the next nominee?" Diddy Kong asked. "He looks kinda scrawny, and that's coming from me."

"Are we fighting him here in the lobby?" Nana asked.

"**The Pokemon Trainer is already a full new Smasher. In my infinite wisdom, I made him one while Wario and Waluigi fought.**" There were a lot of mumbled complaints from the Smashers, and especially from the nominees that he got special treatment. "**Enough!** **My judgement is FINAL!**"

"**Except when it isn't,**" Crazy Hand added with a giggle.

"**Now, let's proceed to Rumble Falls. It's a new stage from Kong Island**."

---

Rumble Falls was an amazing vertical maze of ladders, rickety wooden bridges, stone walls, floating platforms, foliage, and a lot of cascading water. One false step on slippery wood or stone could spell doom. It stretched up almost to the horizon, where some huge vines could be seen in the distance at the top of the falls. Sharp eyes would also spot the occasional concealed barrel cannon or TNT barrel among the palm leaves. "It's beautiful," Fox said.

"I'd say it would be more beautiful without the platforms and development, but okay," Peach said.

"**Donkey Kong, get out here,**" Master Hand ordered. "**Since you're a senior Smasher, I gave you the privilege of fighting on a stage you're experienced with, against an opponent you're familiar with. May I now introduce… King K. Rool.**"

Donkey Kong, who had just jumped to a wooden platform, stared as a hulking form (even more hulking than his) emerged from the waterfall. King K. Rool was a huge, obese anthropomorphic crocodile with green scales and a shining gold belly. He wore a gold crown, a red cape, and had a pair of boxing gloves tied around his neck. His right eye was huge, bloodshot, and twitching, giving him a very psychotic appearance. "It's good to see you again, Donkey Kong," he said in an attempt to keep his cool, but his voice was broken with bloodlust and anticipation.

"**The only way I was able to sign K. Rool in as a Smasher nominee was to allow him to fight you before any other Smasher,**" Master Hand said matter-of-factly. "**Oh, by the way… BEGIN!**"

"DIE!" K. Rool immediately charged forward in a shoulder tackle, and Donkey Kong responded with a massive forward clap. The blows connected and canceled out, and K. Rool and DK were both forced back. They both charged forward, arms out, and began to grapple with each other, each pushing back on the other's hands. Suddenly, K. Rool swept his tail forward, knocking Donkey Kong off his feet, and grabbed the ape's feet while he was down. "It's my turn for victory now, Kong!" K. Rool flipped DK over his head and into the ground behind him, back to the the ground in front of him, then spun DK around him a few times before hurling the hapless ape at high velocity into the gleaming wet cliffside, where he was imbedded with a series of cracks and a wet _splat._

---

"K. Rool's a psycho," Black Mage stated.

"Oh, you think?" Spyro asked sarcastically.

"Absolutely. We can always single each other out."

"If he's strong enough to toss DK around like a ragdoll, he deserves to be here," Ganon said with a grin. "He'd be easy to manipulate, too."

---

"I'm not done, Kong," K. Rool sang. He pulled his crown from his head and threw it at DK. "Crown Boomerang!" DK pulled himself from the crater and jumped away just before the crown hit. When it did, a large section of the cliffside exploded in a massive fireball. "Oh, did I not mention my crown is rigged with incendiaries now?" K. Rool chuckled as he gently placed it back on his head.

"You haven't been taking your meds, have you?" DK asked as he dropped from above onto K. Rool. He punched the mad Kremling in the face, causing him to stagger back, but K. Rool jumped forward again. DK punched with his other hand, but K. Rool weaved and bit the gorilla's arm. "AHH!" DK backhanded K. Rool's face, knocking him off, and inspected his bleeding arm.

"So what if I haven't?" K. Rool asked with a mad grin. Then a rumbling sound made them both look up.

"You idiot!" DK yelled. "That dynamite crown's destabilized the cliff!"

"Too bad," K. Rool said with mock disappointment as he jumped away, onto a more sturdy stone platform. The rocks plummeted toward DK, but he jumped back a bit and punched the falling stones, smashing them into smaller rocks and redirecting them toward K. Rool. The crocodile covered his arms with his face as the storm of gravel hit him, leaving shallow cuts on various spots on his body. "Jerk!" K. Rool threw his exploding crown again. Donkey Kong jumped away, and the platform he was standing on, already abused by the two super-strong fighters, was blown to bits.

DK grabbed a ladder, and looked to see that K. Rool was now, oddly enough, dressed as a pirate. "King K. Rool?"

"That's Kaptain K. Rool now, ya scurvy bilge rat! ARRRGGGHHH!" 'Kaptain' K. Rool pulled out a massive blunderbuss and fired a cannonball from it. DK frantically climbed to the top of the ladder as the bottom was blown away by the lead orb. "Arrr-hahahahaharrrrr!" K. Rool laughed as he loaded up another shot and fired. Donkey Kong kept climbing and dodging cannonballs until he found an explosive barrel on a rickety bridge.

"Bingo," DK said with his trademark creepy Donkey Kong grin. He grabbed the barrel and dropped it toward K. Rool. "Here ya go, Kaptain Krunch!" At the same time, K. Rool fired a cloud of yellow gas from his blunderbuss. The two shots passed in midair, and the TNT barrel detonated, destroying the stone platform he stood on and causing the platform to vanish from view. The gas passed by Donkey Kong, who fell to his elbows and knees and began coughing and retching. "What _was _that stuff?" he choked out. Suddenly, a massive set of jaws erupted from the waterfall right next to DK. He only just managed to hurl himself out of the way as K. Rool regained his footing, standing over DK, who was now on his back. "Where'd you come from?" DK asked, still weak from the gas.

"Little known fact: Crocodiles can swim up waterfalls at over eighty miles per hour," K. Rool said with a grin. He pulled out his blunderbuss again (the primitive shotgun had been tucked into a large belt holding up what DK supposed were pirate pants), and fired a _spiked cannonball _from it. DK dodged and began to climb up a ladder, but K. Rool destroyed the top of it with another spiked cannonball. "Shatter your timbers!" K. Rool cried, awash in mad glee. He pulled out a cutlass and sliced the bottom of the ladder away, causing DK to plummet down the falls.

"If he thinks he's rid of me yet…" DK jumped from the falling ladder and caught a vine, "that psychopath's got another thing coming!" The vine stretched almost to the breaking point, before yanking DK back upward. DK saw an empty barrel on the way up and snatched it. As he rocketed back up to the level he and K. Rool had been on, he yelled out, "Hey zebra-breath!" 'Kaptain' K. Rool turned around just in time to get the barrel stuffed over his body down to the waist. "Here's a radical new therapy technique!" DK began pummeling K. Rool as he was still blinded and prevented from using his arms by the barrel, and finished by spinning around with his arms out. The attack knocked K. Rool away and sending him rolling back across the bridge to the end, where he hit a rock and the barrel burst.

"That wasn't funny!" K. Rool snarled. "I'll devour you, Kong!" He blasted another spiked cannonball toward Donkey Kong, who dodged and pulled out the coconut cannon. The cannonball tore a hole in the bridge, and DK fired off several shots with the cannon while backpedaling. K. Rool advanced, dodging the coconuts and returning fire. DK dodged a shot and suddenly fell backward, his foot stuck in the hole in the bridge.

"Uh-oh," DK said quietly as he attempted to jerk his foot free.

"Enjoy," K. Rool said quietly as he fired another spiked cannonball. DK blocked it with his Coconut Cannon, which was sent sailing through the air to a higher platform. The deflected projectile smashed another hole in the bridge right next to the first, and the bridge could no longer support their combined weight and snapped. DK grabbed onto one side as it fell and hung on for dear life, when it hit the cliffside, he took the blow with gritted teeth and climbed back to the end of the bridge.

The famous Kong glanced toward the other half of the fallen bridge, looking for K. Rool. "Where'd you go, you slimy reptile?" A look of realization dawned on DK's face, and he turned into the waterfall and punched it. "Nope," he grunted in frustration. He jumped and climbed up to where his Coconut Cannon was. "It can't hurt to have it for when the slimy reptile does come back," he chuckled, reaching for the gun.

"Slimy, am I?" A booted claw stomped down on the Coconut Cannon, breaking it in half. 'Kaptain' K. Rool leveled his blunderbuss at Donkey Kong. "Bye-bye," he laughed. DK frantically swatted his fist forward and knocked the Blunderbuss away, causing it to clatter to a higher cliff. "Arrgh!" K. Rool pulled out his cutlass and swung it at DK. Donkey Kong leaned back, but the swing still clipped his chin, drawing a thin line of blood. "I'll make ye walk the plank!"

"Oh yeah? STRONG KONG!" A white, electrical glow spread across Donkey Kong's arms, and he blocked the downward slash of K. Rool's sword with his right arm, and slapped the gator king away with his left. DK looked at his right arm, which was unharmed. "Oh yeah, it works!"

---

"I've never seen DK do that before," Fox said.

"That's the Strong Kong ability," Diddy explained. "It makes him invincible, but using it without a Crystal Coconut isn't easy… or safe. Even only spreading it to his arms like that is going to cause some internal bleeding if he uses it for too long."

"Why's he risking such serious injury if it's just a Smash fight, then?" Ness asked. "It doesn't make sense!"

"K. Rool seems pretty unstable, Ness," Mewtwo argued. "I don't think this is just a Smash fight. If DK loses, he'll probably die before Master Hand can step in."

---

"EEEYYAAHHH!" K. Rool shrieked, slashing wildly with his cutlass. DK blocked blow after blow with his invincible arms, and as soon as he saw an opening, he slammed K. Rool's reptilian muzzle with his own skull, crushing him into the ground.

"Take some-a this!" DK began slapping his huge hands into K. Rool, and by extension the stone platform they were on. Suddenly, the platform crumbled, and DK jumped back with a yell of surprise. K. Rool jumped off the crumbling stone after DK, and snapped his jaws forward. DK stuck his fist in K. Rool's mouth, but K. Rool smiled and began slashing with his cutlass as soon as they landed together unsteadily. DK now had only one free arm and a limited range of movement to block and dodge with, and K. Rool managed to slash several cuts across DK's chest, stomach, and legs. "RAH!" Donkey Kong smashed his other fist into K. Rool's mouth, knocking out half his teeth and pulling his hand free. He winced in pain. _I've about had it for Strong Kong,_ he realized. _Time to end this_. He grabbed a TNT barrel they had happened to land next to, and stuck it over his right fist.

K. Rool recovered, spat out some blood, and charged with his sword forward. DK dodged the clumsy attack and uppercut K. Rool into the air with his left arm. "Primate Punch…" DK yelled, as he brought his right fist forward, explosive barrel and all. "Explosion!" He shielded his face with his other arm, and the resulting explosion knocked K. Rool off the log platform they stood on down to the mist at the bottom of the falls.

"Arrr… ye haven't seen the last of me!" K. Rool yelled as he fell.

"Phew!" The Strong Kong glow diffused, and DK massaged his hairy arms. "That'll hurt in the morning!" Suddenly, the platform began to shake. "Uh-oh." He jumped off the log platform as it collapsed, dropping logs downward after K. Rool, and grabbed a ladder. "No way he's getting up from that… right?"

"WRONG!" K. Rool rocketed up toward DK, now dressed in a pair of boxing trunks with his gloves on his claws. "I'm takin' you down, Kong!" He grabbed onto the ladder DK was on, and began to chase him upward. DK climbed the ladder frantically as K. Rool began to snap and bite at his feet (apparently, all K. Rool's teeth had grown back when he changed pants). DK caught K. Rool's jaws as they snapped shut, using his hand-like feet to hold his opponent's mouth closed.

"Take this!" DK squeezed K. Rool's mouth, crushing his jaw. K. Rool responded by going limp, pulling DK down with the sudden addition of the mad gator's weight. He then pulled DK below him as they freefalled, and punched him in the gut, crushing DK between his fist and the stone platform they landed on. DK yelled in pain, and clapped K. Rool's head in between his hands. As K. Rool recovered, the DK forced the tyrant off him. "Gorilla Grab!" DK grabbed K. Rool by the neck and squeezed, then picked up K. Rool with both arms, held the Kremling King above his head, and threw him into another TNT barrel, which exploded on impact. The entire stage began to shake. "I need to reach higher ground," DK yelled as he jumped upward. "This whole place is unstable." Donkey Kong climbed up to another shaky plank-and-vine bridge before K. Rool appeared again.

"It's over, Donkey Kong! You can't defeat Krusher King K. Rool!" He launched his glove off his hand, and charged after it. DK ducked the glove, but this made him vulnerable to K. Rool's follow-up knee attack. DK stumbled back, and K. Rool kept him off balance with a body-slam as his glove returned to him like Link's hookshot. "Kremling Kick!" K. Rool leaned back, placing his weight on his tail, and kicked DK in the stomach with both feet. DK doubled over, and K. Rool hammered his head down, slamming DK's face through a plank of the bridge. "DIE!" K. Rool stomped down, intending to force DK through the bridge entirely, but DK managed to yank his face back and now it was K. Rool with a foot stuck through the bridge.

"You want a boxing match?" DK asked with a grin. "I can give you that!" He slammed K. Rool in the jaw with a flurry of punches, and tried to slam him in the gut, but hurt his hand on K. Rool's armor-plated belly. "Ow! The heck?"

"This isn't just good waxing, Kong," K. Rool laughed as he pulled his foot out. "It's real armor plating super-glued on over my belly scales! Krocodile Kross!" He slammed DK with a vicious right cross, and DK tumbled over the vine rope that was the bridge's handrail, hanging on only by one hand. K. Rool grinned at the hand. "And _this_ little piggy was severed in a crocodile attack!" He snapped at the hand, but DK had let go upon hearing K. Rool's rant. "Get back here so I can eat you up!"

DK looked below him. "I'll be back soon enough!" He dropped into a Barrel Cannon, which spun around once before launching him back up. "Yeah!" He slammed his fist into K. Rool's waiting jaw as he passed, and the vicious uppercut lifted DK's nemesis into the air with him. "Spinning Kong!" DK spun with his arms out, and delivered several blows to K. Rool's head before knocking him into an empty wooden shack at the top of the waterfall. DK landed neatly at the door. "Come out, come out, nutcase," he said softly.

"Here I am!" K. Rool jumped at DK from behind the door and began to pummel him relentlessly. Left, right, left, right, left hook, right cross, left uppercut, double-fisted downward hammer, tail slam, double-fisted hammer… the blows were raining down with the force, speed, and unbridled fury of a Category 5 hurricane, and DK was too exhausted from using Strong Kong earlier to defend himself. "Where's that famous Kong spirit you had earlier?" K. Rool asked mockingly. He picked up DK, slammed him down again, and hurled him into a boarded-up window, which DK cracked when he impacted it. "This is fun, whether you fight back or not," K. Rool sniggered as he launched his glove again. The force of the blow sent DK hurtling through the window, glass, wood, and all; he slammed into a rocky ledge sticking out from the center of the waterfall hard on his back.

---

"Yikes, DK is really feeling that move from earlier," Diddy said.

"Anybody would," Zelda said sympathetically.

"That was a poor strategic decision, showing off a trick like that so early in the fight," the Pokemon Trainer said.

"Shut up," Black Mage retorted. "Nobody likes you; nobody ever will."

---

"My everything hurts…" DK groaned. He saw K. Rool peek eagerly out the broken window, and then begin swimming sideways along the waterfall toward him. "I guess K. Rool really is a natural swimmer. Who knew?" He spotted 'Kaptain' K. Rool's Blunderbuss next to him. "That's convenient."

"Butter the pan, ma, we're havin' _KONG_ for lunch!" K. Rool screamed as he neared Donkey Kong.

"Butter this!" DK propped himself up on one elbow and began firing the blunderbuss at K. Rool with the other. He missed with the first two cannonballs, but the third shot sprayed a blue cloud. K. Rool was hit by the blue cloud just as he burst from the waterfall, and he was frozen up to his neck in a block of ice as he landed on the stone outcropping. "How do I control what comes out of this thing?"

"You don't," K. Rool grunted as he struggled to free himself from the rime. "I just set it to randomly shoot stuff."

"That's – nevermind," Donkey Kong said. "You're going down, K. Rool." He noticed a nearby small pit made of wood and vines. "Would you look at that." He grabbed K. Rool, ice block and all, and with a groan, lifted him above his head. "YYAAHH!" He threw K. Rool into the pit.

"What was the point of that?" K. Rool snapped, as the ice began to break.

"You'll see." DK climbed up a nearby vine to another lever he could pull. K. Rool broke free of the ice, but he was still too deep in the hole to get out easily. He looked straight up, and gasped. A huge stock of TNT barrels was directly above him, sitting on a flimsy wooden ledge.

"NO!" K. Rool hurled first one glove at DK, then another, but DK missed and continued to climb and swing closer to the lever. "You give me no choice," K. Rool snarled as DK approached the lever. "Gavial Gale!" He thrust both claws forward, and a circular plume of cyclone winds erupted from them and whistled toward DK.

"AAAHHHH!" Donkey Kong yelled in pain as the wind attack buffeted him, carving into his body in various places. He stumbled from the attack and collapsed, his hand half a foot from the lever. "Uggghhh…" he moaned, struggling to get up.

"I probably would've done that even if you had given me a choice," K. Rool called out from the pit, which he was now trying to haul his fat body out of. "That was very entertaining!"

"Got… to… YES!" Donkey Kong managed to reach forward and pull the lever. Nothing happened. "What? Oh, son of a-"

"MWAHAHAAHAAAA!" K. Rool cackled. "Poor DK… some rusty hinges cost him a battle! Gavial Gale!" He blasted another cutting wind attack toward DK.

"Shoot…" DK forced himself up to a sitting position. "Bongo Blast!" He got out his bongos and began to play, and the sound blast formed a barrier, blocking the attack. "Try that again!"

"Alright, but only because you asked!" K. Rool chuckled. "Giga Gavial Gale!" A significantly stronger blast of wind was whipped up this time, and it actually took on the rough shape of a crocodile's head with jaws open as it whistled toward DK.

"I just had to say it!" Donkey Kong played his bongos with renewed vigor, and the Bongo Blast managed to parry the attack again, but the skin on the bongos tore from the strain. "Oh no. This won't work again." DK saw K. Rool preparing the attack again. "Just one chance. But it's going to hurt!"

"Giga Gavial Gale!"

"STRONG KONG!" The Giga Gavial Gale smashed into DK, causing a burst of smoke. Before it cleared, a silhouette leapt from the dust toward the TNT barrel platform. Donkey Kong's entire body was enveloped in the shining glow that had earlier suffused his arms. His fur was also beginning to char and smoke from the strain of a full-power Strong Kong with no Crystal Coconuts. _Just one shot_, DK thought as he aimed for the hinges holding up the wooden platform above K. Rool. "SUPER DUPER SIMIAN SLAM!" DK crashed down rear-end first on one hinge of the platform, snapping it. The other hinge gave way, sending DK and over a dozen TNT barrels tumbling down toward K. Rool, who had hauled himself halfway out of the pit.

_BOOM!_ The entire wooden platform was blown to smithereens by the force of the explosion, creating a massive, fiery cloud in the air. Flaming wooden shrapnel began to rain down from the cloud, down toward the platforms and the water beneath. Amid the shrapnel was K. Rool, falling face-up toward a sharp set of rocks. "You haven't beaten me yet, Kong!" He snarled. "I will annihilate you!"

"No, I haven't beaten you yet!" DK dropped after K. Rool from the flaming cloud, his fur now crimson and actively burning underneath the Strong Kong glow. "Primate Punch!" He slammed a flaming fist into K. Rool's crown – which was still filled with dynamite. K. Rool let out a high-pitch scream as his entire body was consumed with flames like DK's. "Simian Spike!" He brought both of his hands down in a hammer-blow, cracking the golden armor plate on K. Rool's belly and sending him downward in a meteoric fall. "NOW I've beaten you!"

"Ow," K. Rool muttered just before he crashed into the jagged rocks, shattering them with the force of his descent. He lay unconscious in a crater that was quickly filling up with water. DK landed on top of him, the Strong Kong fading again, and the water extinguished the flames all over their bodies.

"**The winner is Donkey Kong!**" Master Hand made a beckoning motion, and DK and K. Rool were teleported to his side. "**I don't know why I wasn't doing this for the earlier fights. Anyway, congratulations to Donkey Kong for blah blah blah blah blah.**"

"DK!" Diddy yelled happily. "I knew you could do it!" He ran up to DK, jumped up, and hugged his chest, but DK fell forward and collapsed on him. "You're crushing me…"

"Sorry, little buddy," DK said with a weak grin. "I can't move a muscle."

"I'll help you guys," Bowser said, helping DK off of Diddy. "I never really liked K. Rool, so this makes us even for you stomping his guts."

Master Hand cleared his nonexistent throat. "**Attention Smashers. Please leave in an orderly fashion and head to our next destination, Smashville.**"

**End of Chapter**

**Gavial – a reptile in the alligator-crocodile family found in India, Sumatra, and the surrounding area, also called a gharial. Bet you all didn't expect to learn biology in my newest chapter, did you?**

**I'm sorry, but to clear this up, PAPER MARIO WILL NOT PARTICIPATE. Sorry, Unknown One and anybody else who asked. I'm not acknowledging Mario and Paper Mario as separate people, because that's just not how I roll.**

**Next chapter: Dimentio versus Meta Knight in a battle of masks!**


	16. Chapter 16

**avatar: Here it is, the culmination of my sweat, tears, and blood. I seriously worked hard on this chapter, but I certainly enjoyed it, and I hope you do too. I have some worries about how well I pulled the characters off, but hopefully everything's fine.**

**Popo: Nana got a line last chapter, so I'm doing the disclaimer here. avatarjk137 does not own Super Smash Bros. or any other video game franchise mentioned here. He only owns the contents of this story.**

**Chapter 16**

**Meta Knight vs. Dimentio**

The town of Smashville was your usual town, populated with your usual occasional human and the usual talking animals, walking around with their usual big heads on usually much smaller bodies, living their usual lives out at a relaxed pace, enjoying the usual holidays. Of course, this was all considered usual only for the towns in the Animal Crossing world.

What was unusual about this usually usual town was the long, slender stage. Although the stage was, as usual, the place for K.K. Slider's concerts, this stage was much larger and designed to simultaneously host a battle between the famous Smashers. It featured several floating platforms, which was unusual in an Animal Crossing town. Standing on one such platform was Meta Knight, a most unusual fighter in any respect. Standing in the crowds were the rest of the Smashers and Smasher nominees. Floating above it all was Master Hand. "**I'd like to thank you all for attending. Today I will bring all you an excellent match, starring my good friend Meta Knight. But first, congratulations to Diddy Kong. Although technically I haven't judged yet, my higher-uppers have told me he is already an official new Smasher.**"

There was a round of applause for Diddy, but Falco asked Master Hand, "What higher-uppers? What authority do you respond to?"

"**There is no higher authority than me,**" Master Hand replied reassuringly. "**Now, Meta Knight, let me introduce your opponent…**"

"If you don't mind, I'll introduce myself, Master Hand." A strange figure popped into view, seemingly from nowhere. He didn't stand opposite of Meta Knight; rather, he floated there, bobbing around slightly. He wore the headdress and cape of a court jester, made of alternating strips and cones of yellow and indigo material. Gold ornaments decorated the ends of the indigo pieces of his headdress, and a gold brooch pinned his cape into a tunic around his body. Underneath that, he wore black pants, shirt, gloves, and pointed shoes, all of which had a faint white glow. His face was covered by a smiling, angular mask: the right half was white with an empty black eye, the left half black with a shining yellow eye. "I am Dimentio, master of dimensional magic!" His eyes twinkled merrily, and the mask moved as he talked.

"You're my opponent, are you?" Meta Knight asked calmly. "Some fool who fancies himself a magician?" _Obviously he's a lot tougher than he looks, or Master Hand wouldn't have picked him._

"Oh, no," Dimentio said softly. "I'm some magician who fancies himself a god. I'll be happy to play the fool for you, though." Meta Knight ignored Dimentio's words and scanned the other Smashers, looking for reactions that showed they knew him. He didn't have to look far. Bowser, Peach, and Mario all wore determined and angry faces as they looked at Dimentio, and Luigi was quaking in his boots far worse than he had for Waluigi. "Would you like to concede now?" Dimentio asked, driving Meta Knight's attention back to him. "I'll give you a bottle of my world-famous cologne, _Demented._" There was a whispering echo to the word _Demented._

"What?" Meta Knight asked, completely taken off-guard. "No!"

"**Smashers, get to Smashing!**" Master Hand ordered.

Meta Knight pulled out a plain sword and threw it. Dimentio watched lazily as it arced through the air and landed just beneath his dangling feet. "What is this?"

"It's not very fair to attack an unnarmed opponent," Meta Knight said coolly as he drew his own sword.

"Aha, thanks," Dimentio replied, levitating the sword into the air, "But I don't think I'll need it." He created a square portal, and the sword vanished inside.

"Suit yourself. Triple Dash!" Meta Knight shot forward with three explosive bursts of speed, his sword out in front followed by his feet. Dimentio shot straight into the air, easily dodging the attack with a chuckle. _Damn, he's quick. _"Shuttle Loop!" Meta Knight opened his wings, and shot into the air in a high backflip. At the apex of the arc, face-up, he met Dimentio. "Yah!" He cut Dimentio with his sword, only for it to be an illusion that split in half as it faded. _Sneaky, too._ Meta Knight finished the loop and continued back to the ground, looking around for Dimentio. "Where'd you go, you coward?"

"Coward? Oh, silly Knight of Meta, your words wound me!" Meta Knight turned, and Dimentio was floating where Meta Knight had begun the battle. Dimentio smirked. "Which is fortunate for you, because your swordsmanship could never do so."

"We shall see." Meta Knight advanced slowly this time, his sword pointed forward. Dimentio laughed and held his hand over his head, producing a starburst of colorful energy. He tossed the glowing attack at Meta Knight, who dodged it and dashed forward. He almost struck Dimentio, but the sneaky jester dipped and slid past him, his feet almost grazing the ground. "How long do you expect your tricks will keep you out of danger?"

"Until you tire, my friend!" Dimentio laughed. "But, I have to strike back eventually, haven't I?" Dimentio produced a red handkerchief, seemingly from nowhere. "I am, as you say, a magician. Keep your eye on the hanky!" Dimentio suddenly lashed out with the handkerchief, and a whip made of interconnected handkerchiefs of all colors extended and wrapped around Meta Knight before he could react.

Meta Knight struggled for a few seconds, but it was in vain; he was trapped. "I suppose now you plan to yo-yo me around?"

"No, you fool. I am Dimentio! I _never_ do what's expected!" Dimentio sent a massive electric shock down the chain of handkerchiefs, and Meta Knight lit up like a Christmas tree as raw electricity coursed through him. The handkerchiefs burned to ashes from the power flow, and Meta Knight fell to his hands from the attack. "I'm still offering the _Demented_, my friend…"

"You wish," Meta Knight said as he got to his feet.

"No, but you'll wish you had," Dimentio said with a sick grin. He thrusted his hand forward and clenched it, and Meta Knight barely dodged as a translucent orange cube appeared where he had been, and the air inside it exploded. "Keep dodging until you tire, Meta Knight, for I do not!" Dimentio thrusted and clenched, thrusted and clenched, and Meta Knight had to run, jump, and twist to avoid being trapped in the death boxes. Finally, Dimentio aimed for where Meta Knight was about to land after a jump, and Meta Knight was trapped inside. "_Ciao!_" Dimentio sang, and a series of explosions engulfed the inside of the box. Suddenly, the box exploded outward, and Dimentio was blown slightly back by the force of the detonation. "That was a strange anomaly."

"That was no anomaly. That was Dimensional Cape!" Meta Knight appeared from the billowing smoke that filled the space the cube had formerly occupied. "You're not the only one here who can manipulate dimensions."

"Bah," Dimentio said, the grin flickering on his face. "You're a mere neophyte. Watch!" He opened up a dimensional portal and pulled out a black top hat. "I pulled a hat out of my pocket dimension! And now…" He waved the hat, and a flock of black doves flew from it and circled the fighting arena. "Impressed?" The Smashville crowd certainly was, from the way they gasped.

"That's just a child's trick," Meta Knight chuckled. "_This_ is practical magic." Meta Knight suddenly slashed his sword backhand with extreme speed, despite standing thirty feet from Dimentio. There was a spark of light from the air Meta Knight had slashed thru, and one of the points on Dimentio's jester cap slid off and fluttered to the ground.

"You think the doves were impractical, do you?" Dimentio snapped his fingers, and the point returned to his head. "Check again," he sang. Meta Knight obligingly looked at the doves. As soon as his eyes passed over them, they turned into flying sabers and flew end over end toward him.

"That's not bad," Meta Knight admitted. "But it's not great. Dimensional Cape!" Meta Knight disappeared, and when the sabers struck the spot he had been in, they all changed direction and hurtled toward their creator. "What do you think of that, Dimentio?"

"All smoke and mirrors, I'm afraid." Dimentio thrusted both palms at the sabers the instant before they reached him, and they exploded into a cloud of purple and yellow butterflies, which scattered into the crowds.

---

"So, what's your sign?" Waluigi asked, slicking his greasy hair back. He and Wario had recently woken up, and Waluigi had since decided that Samus was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, armor or no armor.

"It's me pulling out your still-beating heart and loading it into my missile launcher," Samus responded coldly.

"Dimentio and Meta Knight seem to have settled more into a competition than an actual fight," Isaac noted.

"I think Dimentio's trying to gauge how seriously he wants to take this fight," Peach said. "When he saw that Meta Knight also had access to dimensional magic, he stopped completely treating him like a child."

"And Meta Knight's always eager to prove he's better than you at something that looks like it matters," Kirby added. He turned to the Ice Climbers, who were playing with the colorful butterflies Dimentio had transfigured. "You guys probably shouldn't play with those, they might turn back into weapons."

---

"You want a magic trick?" Dimentio asked. "I could saw you in half." He pulled a circular saw out of his hat.

"No, I don't think so." Meta Knight ran at Dimentio again, slashing downward with his sword. Dimentio blocked with the chain of the circular saw, and turned it on, spraying a shower of sparks into Meta Knight's eyes. Meta Knight yelled in surprise and jumped away, and Dimentio threw the still-running saw at him. Meta Knight dodged the saw, but it struck the ground and continued forward. "What sorcery is this?" Where the circular saw cut, a dimensional fissure opened, and it began to spread, revealing a silvery void.

"Sorry," Dimentio laughed, "I brought the enchanted power tools by accident, and I thought, 'why not?'! You like it?"

Meta Knight slashed the air again, and the circular saw split in half and lay there. "Not particularly." He advanced toward Dimentio again, but failed to notice another Dimentio rising from the silvery void. Suddenly, the new Dimentio kicked Meta Knight from behind, causing him to stumble forward. The old Dimentio backflipped, kicking the hapless Meta Knight into the air.

"Ahahaha!" Both Dimentios cackled and unleashed a maelstrom of magical starbursts on Meta Knight in midair, and he fell to the ground smoking and face-down. "Specifically," the new Dimentio said, "my circular saw created minor time rifts."

"That was nasty of you to destroy it," the old one added. "Ciao!" He flipped into the time rift, closing it behind him. The now-only Dimentio gestured with his hand, and Meta Knight was lifted unsteadily to his feet. Dimentio created a large starburst with both hands overhead, and propelled it at Meta Knight.

"D-dimensional Cape," Meta Knight said, his eyes regaining focus. He disappeared again; however, the starburst exploded when it struck his former location, knocking him out of his defense and into the air, where he tumbled and landed on his face.

"Like I said," Dimentio laughed, "only a neophyte." A small silver shard clattered to his feet. "What's this?"

---

"W-w-why's Dimentio so much more powerful than last time, bro?" Luigi asked Mario.

Mario shrugged, but Dimentio himself turned from the shard he was inspecting to answer them directly. "My fine friends, when you destroyed the Chaos Heart and I, we went down together. Master Hand, in all his infinite wisdom, recruited me from the afterlife to participate in this fine tournament, but by then we were inexorably combined into a single entity. For you see, the Chaos Heart now beats within my chest in place of my own, and that is what grants me this wondrous power." His eyes narrowed as he regarded the Mario Bros., but his smile didn't shrink. "Of course, once I've become a Smasher, I'll have endless opportunities to rain agonizing defeat upon you, as you have already done to me."

"Whatever-a you say," Mario responded.

"We'll all have a piece of you, bub," Bowser snarled at Dimentio. "But Meta Knight still has first whack."

---

Meta Knight struggled to his feet. "Give that back to me," he growled.

Dimentio's eyes continued their merry, mischievous twinkling as he refocused on Meta Knight. "What's that? You want this?" He held up the shard of silver. "Oh, I see."

"I said GIVE… IT… BACK." Meta Knight was holding his left hand over the top-left corner of his mask. The right hand still held his sword, which was beginning to glow menacingly. Even through his mask, Meta Knight's glare would drop an elephant faster than any poison.

"This is part of your mask, is it?" Dimentio flipped it into the air like a coin. "Come take it from me," he whispered cruelly.

"No more pulled punches, then!" Meta Knight slashed his sword in a pattern, and then clicked it against the floor. Dimentio stifled a yell of pain as his hand was shredded like confetti and the shard of mask flew into the air. Dimentio caught it with his other hand and vanished. Meta Knight noticed that instead of blood, a black, glittering liquid had dripped to the ground from the pieces of Dimentio's mutilated hand. "What's this, now?"

Dimentio's head leaned out from a portal above Meta Knight, his face hanging upside-down in front of his opponent's. "Funny thing about the Chaos Heart being my actual heart; hilarious, really…" Meta Knight slashed at Dimentio, but he was already gone. In his place, a ring of mirrors appeared around Meta Knight, all bearing Dimentio's grinning visage. "It's not blood that pumps thru my veins."

Meta Knight concentrated, and determined that the real Dimentio hid above him. "Meta Tornado!" Meta Knight pulled his cape around him and began spinning rapidly, and Dimentio was pulled out of his hiding place in thin air. As cutting winds from the tornado shattered all the mirrors, Dimentio was also sliced several times and thrown through the air. Dimentio tumbled head-over-heels before regaining air control, and looked at his remaining hand only to find it was empty. "That's better." Dimentio caught a glimpse of dark blue skin and a yellow, glowing eye before Meta Knight re-attached the mask piece.

"So, you haven't been truthful with me about the extent of your power…" Dimentio wiggled his fingers, and pulled up his hand-less sleeve to reveal a brand new hand. "No matter. Neither have I." Dimentio spun playfully in the air, and split into four of himself, all of which raised their hands above their heads and created large starbursts of mana.

"Illusions again? That's getting old quickly." Meta Knight held his sword behind him, and it enveloped in flame. "En garde!" He rushed forward, but the Dimentios all launched their attack at the same time, cackling like hyenas. Meta Knight expertly dodged all the attacks, but they exploded on impact with the ground, and Meta Knight was hurled into the air. All four Dimentios rocketed into the air after Meta Knight, who brought out his wings and stabilized.

"Three of us may be illusions," the Dimentios crowed, just out-of-synch enough to be very unsettling, "but none of our attacks are!" Two of the Dimentios charged straight up toward Meta Knight, and the other two hung back, preparing more starburst attacks and floating in dizzying patterns. The two approaching Meta Knight flew up to his height, flanking him, and summoned magical energy to their hands. They then began to stab and claw at Meta Knight with their magically charged gloves.

Meta Knight parried one clone's attacks with his blade, and kicked at the other to keep it from properly landing a hit. He twisted in the air to dodge a clawing attack, but the clone's other hand scratched a series of thin gouges in his mask. _The attacks ARE for real._ He slashed at the clone, and his sword passed through without disrupting it in the slightest. _But the clone isn't._ Suddenly, a burst of energy slammed into him, followed by another. Meta Knight recovered and looked down; the Dimentios staying at a distance were creating starbursts and serving them at him like volleyballs, causing them to move faster and hit harder. And the other two were still sticking to him. Meta Knight slashed through the other Dimentio, finding it also to be a clone. "That leaves two!" Meta Knight folded his wings, and dropped like a stone with his still-burning sword down. He passed through the third (clone), and grazed the shoulder of the fourth (not a clone).

"Yow! That's quite hot!" Dimentio grabbed his smoking and bleeding shoulder and vanished, and the illusions vanished with him. As Meta Knight pulled out of the dive and dropped lightly to the floor, Dimentio reappeared across from him. Dimentio, surprisingly, was scowling. "Last chance, Meta Knight. Although you missed your chance at the _Demented_, you can still surrender and live."

"Not a chance."

Suddenly, the stage to Meta Knight's left and Dimentio's right lit up. A small, large-headed white dog with prominent eyebrows sat down on his usual bench and pulled out his usual acoustic guitar. "Hey there, pals. Can K.K. Slider hook you up with some free tunes?"

"Write anything new recently, my musically inclined friend?" Dimentio asked.

"Yeah, man. Wanna hear it?"

"That would be excellent." Dimentio's smile returned.

"I agree," Meta Knight nodded.

"Alright, but I warn you guys, I had been drinking a fair amount of coffee when I wrote it. Here goes: _K.K. Madness!_" And with that, K.K. Slider began strumming his guitar at almost twice the speed of his usual melodies, and began whistling in a twisted mirror of the guitar notes. The song was aptly named: it was enjoyable at first, but would probably drive both musician and listeners to madness if played at length.

"Now here's a tune befitting the Master of Dimensions!" Dimentio placed his palms side-by-side facing toward Meta Knight, and another small flock of black doves flew out and flapped toward the masked swordsman.

"Repeating tricks? I'm disappointed." Meta Knight held his blade behind him for a second, and it glowed white. He then whipped it forward, and a twister formed, taller and slimmer than the one Meta Knight created with his body. It zigzagged toward Dimentio, sucking in the doves, which exploded this time. Dimentio smirked and waved, and the tornado dissipated harmlessly in front of him. He then opened up his portal again and pulled out a saw (this time, an old-fashioned one). "What's with the saws?"

"Well, I have always wanted to really saw somebody in half…" Dimentio said softly. Then he vanished again. Meta Knight looked around. No Dimentio. Suddenly, a long, deep gash appeared down Meta Knight's mask, just over his left eye.

"Crap!" Meta Knight swung the sword in a circle around him. No blood and no yelp, even though he thought he had felt the blade tear through something like cloth. "Meta Tornado!" He spun with his cape around him again, and Dimentio reappeared across the stage from him, far enough to avoid the tornado. "Now I have you!" Meta Knight stopped spinning, and immediately began slashing the air rapidly, causing the same flashes as before.

"Oh, my, it seems you're finally giving it your all." Dimentio skated forward along the ground, his feet millimeters from actually touching the ground. He rapidly moved the saw in front of him to block all the cutting forces Meta Knight was unleashing, and finally reached Meta Knight. "But your all isn't enough!"

Meta Knight blocked Dimentio's diagonal slash, and used his free hand to tap the saw, which turned to dust. "I beg to differ." Meta Knight slashed at Dimentio, who slid back again. "Your saw couldn't take the force of my attacks. Now, get over here and fight like a man!"

"Why fight like a man when I am so much more?" Dimentio summoned up the same square portal that he had tucked the sword into.

---

"What a catchy tune. Care to dance?" Waluigi asked Samus, offering her a rose. Samus responded by charging a shot from her power beam, ramming her arm cannon into Waluigi's mouth, and firing. Waluigi fell to the ground, smoke billowing from his eyes, mouth, nose and ears.

"It is good music," Young Link said, tapping his foot to the rhythm.

"Do you think Meta Knight can win?" Kirby asked Luigi.

"I really-a hope so," Luigi responded shakily.

---

"I'm afraid your road has come to a dead end," Dimentio said with a smile. He thrust his hand into the square portal, and a portal opened up to Meta Knight's left and punched him in the head. Meta Knight slashed at the hand, but the portal closed before he could counterattack. Another punch came from behind him. Meta Knight whirled around, but there was nothing to attack. Another punch, and Meta Knight looked at Dimentio. The laughing jester was thrusting his hands into the portal, teleporting them to attack Meta Knight.

"Stop!" Meta Knight sent a sword tornado Dimentio's way. Dimentio waved his hand and cancelled out the cyclone, then shoved his leg into the portal. The kick in the back of the head stomped Meta Knight to the ground. Meta Knight managed to regain his footing, and slashed the air toward Dimentio again. Dimentio held the portal in front of him, and Meta Knight was knocked over by his own attack as it warped back to hit him. His sword flew from his hand and skidded across the arena. "Any dirty trick to win, eh?" Meta Knight asked as he got to his hands and nonexistent knees.

"Absolutely. Watch!" Dimentio held his hands up, and a dozen smaller versions of his starburst attack flared up above his head.

Meta Knight laughed. "You think that'll work against my Dimensional Cape?"

"This attack isn't meant for you." Dimentio cackled and blasted the attack toward the citizens of Smashville in a shotgun-style spray pattern.

"NO!" _I can't use Dimensional Cape, the attacks will ricochet all over and hurt innocent people. _Meta Knight jumped in the way of the blasts, and fell to the ground mask-up, burned and smoking.

"Silly, silly fool," Dimentio said, shaking his head condescendingly. "Didn't you get the memo that chivalry is dead?" He laughed, and then added quietly, "I killed it along with hope and innocence." He thrust his hand into the portal, and pulled out the sword Meta Knight had given him at the start of the battle. Dimentio tossed the sword end-over-end, and it struck Meta Knight's left hand, pinning it to the ground. Dimentio then widened the portal, and shoved both hands into it. "_Ciao!"_ Both of his hands exploded out of the center of Meta Knight's face, obliterating his mask completely and showering some very disgusting fluids across the stage. Dimentio retracted his hands from the teleportation square, and closed it. "A little sloppy compared to my usual work," he sighed, conjuring a towel and rubbing the gore off his hands, "but it got the job done." He was turned away from Meta Knight, and didn't see him desperately reaching with his free right hand for the sword pinning his wounded left one.

"Aw, dude," K.K. Slider said, looking down as he stopped playing, "You really harshed my mellow right there."

Dimentio was about to reply to this remark, but a whistling noise caused him to turn around… just in time for a sword to strike his mask tip-first, shattering both mask and sword. Meta Knight staggered to his feet. Without his mask, he was a dead ringer for Kirby, except for midnight blue skin, glowing yellow eyes, and an expression intense enough to make lesser men wet their pants. "All bets are off," he growled. "When it comes to ridding the universe of underhanded scum like you, chivalry can be set aside for a few minutes."

Dimentio's head was pointed to the ground, so his face remained hidden. "You're not harmed at all… how?"

"You haven't faced Kirby like the Smashers, so you wouldn't know… but a Star Warrior's skin doesn't tear in the traditional sense. Your attack certainly didn't mutilate me like it would for any humanoid." Meta Knight then dashed to where his sword had landed, grabbed it, and turned on a dime, heading straight for Meta Knight.

Dimentio raised his head. His face seemed to be fairly handsome, except that like his mask, his face was split between white and black down the middle. He still had a glowing yellow eye on the black side and an empty black void on his right side. Locks of hair hung down from his headdress: black on the white side, white on the black side. The only real change was a total lack of anything that resembled a smile. "_How… DARE you expose my face, mortal?!_"Dimentio snarled. He flipped his hand, and dark tendrils snaked up from the ground and grabbed Meta Knight's feet, holding him in place. Meta Knight pulled back his sword to cut the tendrils, but Dimentio gestured again and more tendrils grabbed his wrist. "_I wished to save this attack for the Mario Bros…_"

Dimentio raised his hands above his head once more. "_CHAOS RESERVE! BREATH OF THE VOID!_" A black portal opened above his head, and a bright green caricature of a face appeared on it; the same happily winking eyes and smiling mouth that usually adorned Dimentio's mask. The portal began to radiate power, and green lightning crackled through it.

"You'll never get a chance to use that attack! TRIPLE DASH!" Meta Knight snapped free of the tendrils and powered himself forward, slamming the tip of his blade into Dimentio's chest while the mad jester still had his arms raised. Dimentio slid back on his feet, then collapsed to his knees, his head down and his arms still up. Meta Knight pulled back his sword arm to strike again, but his blade was still plunged into Dimentio's heart, more of the black, glittering liquid dripping from his wound and his mouth.

"_Fool. This wound may end my game, but I still have enough power to end -_cough-_ yours. Ciao… for now._" Dimentio swung his arms forward to point his index fingers at Meta Knight, and a cloudy black beam erupted from the mouth of the void's face and slammed into Meta Knight. Where the beam touched Meta Knight, his body turned glossy and dark gray. Finally, the void disappeared, and the statue that had been Meta Knight cracked and shattered, reduced to a pile of glossy shards. Dimentio fell over on his side, clutching madly at the sword in his chest as his yellow eye began to dim.

"**I've seen enough. Dimentio is the winner… barely.**" Master hand beckoned, and the dying Dimentio and dead Meta Knight were teleported to the audience platform. Then Master Hand and Crazy Hand made a heart shape with their index fingers and thumbs, and Dimentio and Meta Knight were instantly healed of all their mortal wounds.

"Why didn't you do that with Meta Ridley?" Zelda asked.

"**If I had, he would've attacked you all over and over,**" Master Hand explained. "**That would've made it difficult to watch the fights.**"

Dimentio, satisfied that his mask was back on and his wounds were gone, looked up only for Bowser to land a solid right cross on his face, cracking his newly repaired mask. "What was that for?!"

"That… was for attacking the audience!" Bowser roared. "Around here, you need to be a card-carrying villain to do that!" Bowser, Bowser Jr., Black Mage, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, K. Rool, Wario, and Waluigi all held up ID cards. They all identified the occupation of their owner as 'villain', although Black Mage's read 'hero/villain', and Wario and Waluigi's cards read 'part-time villain'.

"Can I have one of those most beautiful cards?" Dimentio asked hopefully.

"We'll see," Mewtwo said.

"'We'll see' means no," Black Mage added helpfully.

"**Now, on to our next match… in the new, IMPROVED Pokemon Stadium!**"

**End of Chapter**

**I would like to thank Specter 24. I 'borrowed' a minor idea from his fic, specifically Dimentio wanting to literally saw people in half. It's perfect for Dimentio, who's so whimsical and yet so psychotic. Also, I hope I didn't lay the hippie-talk on too thick for K.K., but I really wanted him to say 'harshed my mellow'.**

**Upcoming Chapter line-up:**

**17. Solid Snake vs. Krystal**

**18. Mr. Game and Watch vs. unrevealed**

**19. Fox vs. Master Chief**

**20. Pit vs. unrevealed**

**21. Pikachu vs. Crash Bandicoot**

**Unknown chapter: Ice Climbers vs. Banjo-Kazooie**

**Final Chapter: Mario versus unrevealed.**

**Still accepting suggestions, I suppose.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Avatar: Sorry for the **_**long **_**wait everybody, I've been busy and such. However, I'm back. I bet you're wondering what happened to Snake vs. Krystal! Well, one of the things that sidetracked me was this brilliant Wii/PS2/Arcade game, Guilty Gear XX Accent Core (GGXXC for short)! I couldn't resist putting the series' star character into this fic, and kudos to any Guilty Gear fans in tonight's audience.**

**I do not own Super Smash Bros. or any other game franchises owned within. I do not own the personality invented for Black Mage by 8-Bit Theatre. I only own the contents of this story.**

**Chapter 17**

**Ike vs. Sol Badguy**

"**Now, before we start,**" Master Hand said, "**I'm making some on-the-spot decisions. Sonic, you're in. It's official. King Dedede is also in.**" A blue penguin-like person wearing red, white and yellow robes and a red cap swaggered triumphantly into the audience box, wielding a large hammer with a star on the face over his shoulder. Kirby began to object, but Master Hand continued talking over him, and Meta Knight gave Kirby a nod of reassurance. "**Also, Ness is being replaced. Everybody, say high to our new friend Lucas.**" Indeed, while nobody was looking, a young child with tall blonde hair who resembled Ness had entered the room, and Ness was gone.

"That's just Ness in a wig," Bowser said.

"**No, it's actually somebody else. THIS is Ness, see?**" Crazy Hand giggled. He was hovering insanely (yes, giant hands can hover in an insane fashion) in the corner above a pile of gore wearing a baseball cap backwards (yes, piles of gore have a backwards).

"NESS in a WIG," Bowser insisted stubbornly.

"Who's telling you to make these changes?" Zelda asked.

"**Um… uhh…**" Master Hand struggled for a moment. "**Why it's my good friend the Ancient Minister.**" The Ancient Minister, a mysterious, bell-like entity, appeared out of nowhere, and floated silently in front of them. "**Say hello, everybody."**

"Hello, everybody," Viewtiful Joe joked. The others just glared at the A.M., and he stared coldly back.

"**Now, for one last introduction.**" Master Hand turned out over the new Pokemon Stadium, which was like the old one except a little larger and a lot shinier. "**Say hello… to SOL BADGUY!" **A fireball exploded in the middle of the arena, and when it faded, a tall human figure stood amongst the heat. Sol had brown hair which spiked up despite the long ponytail in the back, and reddish-brown eyes. He wore long white pants and a tight, muscle-revealing black undershirt under a red sleeveless jacket. He also wore black gloves, red shoes, a red sash of cloth hanging from the front of his waist, and an alarming number of brown leather belts with gold buckles (two around his waist, two on each thigh, two around his forehead, two on each glove, one on each side of the sash, one on his chest, and one on his left bicep. The ones on his waist supported a silver plate with the word 'FREE' engraved in it, the ones on his head supported a cracked red piece of armor engraved with 'ROCK YOU', and the one on his bicep served no purpose whatsoever. He held a sword with a red guard and a strangely rectangular blade in front of him. "**Any words for your opponent, Sol?**"

"I don't know who it is yet."

"**Of course! I must have left my brain in my other finger today! Ike, get down here! You're fighting Mr. Badguy!**"

"Right!" Ike jumped down and pulled his sword out, pointing it at Sol. Sol pulled his sword behind him, in what Ike thought was a rather strange fighting stance. "You ready?"

"I do have words for you," Sol said with a smile. "I want a good fight, so keep yourself alive."

"**In honor of Sol, I'll start the match the way he's used to it. HEAVEN OR HELL? FINAL DUEL! LET'S ROCK!**"

Sol immediately began the match by slamming his sword into the ground, grinding it toward Ike. "Gun Blaze!" A series of fiery bursts erupted toward Ike.

"Whoa!" Ike jumped over the attacks, and flew toward Sol. "Yah!" he slashed downward at Sol, who blocked with his own sword, forcing Ike back away. "So you like to play with fire?" Ike asked, his blade glowing as he charged his energy into it. "Eruption!" he slammed his charged blade into the ground, kicking up fire and rocks in a path toward Sol. Sol brought his sword up and somehow blocked the attack, although it burned his arms a little and pushed him back.

"I _love _to play with fire," Sol responded. "That's why I use the Fireseal!" He jumped toward Ike and slashed again, and Ike blocked, noticing that Sol's sword cast off embers instead of sparks. "Now, let me show you its power. Grand Viper!" Sol suddenly exploded forward headfirst, slamming his skull into Ike's gut and carrying him backwards. He then reared back and yelled, causing a fiery explosion that launched Ike into the air, only to come crashing down on a raised platform. "You're just warming up, I hope!" Sol yelled as he jumped to the platform after Ike and began slashing.

Ike frantically blocked the attacks, but the shock of the blows was hurting his arm and he was being pressed back. "Counter!" he yelled, pulling back into a counter-stance, and he managed to score a deep cut across Sol's face on Sol's next attempt to strike. Sol staggered back, and Ike thought he saw his opponent's eyes flash; but the instant passed and Sol leapt forward again, blood dripping from his chin. He continued his attack ruthlessly, pushing Ike off the elevated platform and jumping after him. "Don't you let up?!" Ike yelled frantically, forced into the ground as he parried yet another slash.

"What kind of ruthless warrior would I be if I did?" Sol asked. "Bandit Revolver!" he kicked Ike into the air, followed his target with his own rotary force, and twisted, bringing his other foot down into Ike's chestplate, slamming him back to the ground. He then leapt back as Ike swung his sword around and jumped to his feet. "Gun Flame!" Ike wasted no time in jumping away from the inferno wave, but it still lit his cape aflame. Ike frantically put it out, and that gave Sol time to close again and begin attacking.

Ike gulped as Sol's nonstop assault pushed him back toward the edge of the stage. Then, suddenly, a friendly voice resounded through his head: _Sol will slash to your upper right, then to your mid left, then stab low center. When he stabs, he'll leave his left shoulder open. Go for it. _ Ike decided it couldn't hurt to try and follow the directions, and was slightly surprised to find the directions entirely accurate. Sol jumped back, clutching his shoulder in surprise. _You're welcome. _ Ike looked around, but whatever it was wasn't there, and Sol was ready to resume his assault.

"Bandit…" Sol leapt into the air, but this time he charged his arm with red energy. Ike put up his shield in anticipation. "BRINGER!" He created a cone of fiery energy that slammed Ike, almost shattering the shield and forcing Ike entirely off the edge of the stadium.

"Oh no," Ike groaned, "not when I'm just starting to fight back!" He tossed his sword into the air, and Sol had to jump back to avoid the flying blade. "AETHER!" Ike raised his arms and an invisible force pulled him up to his blade, which he caught. He then plummeted down toward Sol, his blade cleaving downward in front of him.

"This is still almost easy!" Sol said. "Volcanic Viper!" His blade ignited and he leapt into the air toward Ike, and they passed each other with a _ping._ Ike stumbled and fell as he hit the ground, blood dripping from his right side. Sol's right side sustained a cut as well, and he barely managed to land on his feet. He felt his wounds. "You're good…" he remarked, but swept out his arm in a dramatic thumbs-down gesture. "But not good enough." A fiery burst encircled his feet, punctuating his judgement. Ike scowled in response, and lifted his blade in a ready position.

---

"So who is this Sol Badguy? _I've_ never heard of him," Dedede asked with a smirk.

"He's a bounty hunter from the late 22nd century," Lucas explained. "He gets his fire manipulation abilities from his sword _Fuuenken, _or the 'Fireseal'. His other abilities are of unknown source. He used to be part of the Sacred Order of Holy Knights (where he got the nickname Corrupted Flame), until he stole Fuuenken from them. Real name is rumored to be Frederick something. He hasn't aged in upwards of one hundred years. Favorite band is Queen, favorite clothing brand is Riot, because they're durable and fireproof."

"Told you he's Ness in a wig," Bowser said. DK nodded in agreement.

"He's a pretty good fighter to have Ike on the ropes from the beginning," Shina observed. "Or maybe Ike's just a lame-ass."

---

"Radiance Dance!" Ike slashed at Sol high, which Sol easily blocked, then low, which was jumped, then an upward thrust leading to a downward slash, which Sol hastily blocked. Ike followed up with a series of low and medium thrusts, and finished with an upward slash. Sol managed to block it, but his blade was forced upwards. Ike then kicked Sol in the gut and brought his pommel down Sol's forehead plate. Surprisingly, the battle-scarred plate shrugged off the attack, and Sol angrily grabbed Ike by the shirt collar and hoisted him a couple of feet into the air.

"You can cut me all you want, but you don't _ever _touch this plate," Sol warned. Ike responded by swinging his legs up and kicking Sol in a very sensitive place. Sol yelled in surprise and pain, and smashed his forehead plate into Ike's forehead, knocking him across the arena. He then fell to the ground, clutching his most intimate parts.

Ike managed to get to his feet and make the world stop spinning. "Quite the headbutt you have there." He revealed a golden figurine from under his cape. "Unfortunately, I need some help. "Come on out, Lyn!" He slammed the trophy on the ground, and a young woman with green hair in a long ponytail, boots, a blue dress with yellow lining, fingerless armlets, and a Japanese sword at her waist appeared. She grabbed her sword and got down into a ready stance.

Sol staggered to his feet. "Who's this? That's hardly fair," he chuckled. Then Lyn vanished, and reappeared behind Sol. A long slash appeared on his chest, and he fell to one knee clutching the wound. "SHIT!" Lyn vanished again, but she didn't reappear this time. "I'm bleeding quite a bit," he noticed, his voice wavering.

"Does that mean you give up?" Ike asked, walking cautiously toward Sol. As he walked, the arena began to change to a sleek grey surface, and large fans began to pop up: the new stadium had shifted to Flying mode.

"No way." Flames appeared in Sol's general area, and began to draw themselves inward. "Dragon Install!" Sol's headband crackled, and the flames covered him, reducing him to a flaming silhouette. "RAAAUUUGHH!" As he screamed, the flames largely vanished, leaving him grinning and still smoldering a bit. "Grand Viper Installed!" A flame blasted from Sol's heels and he barreled forward, smashing into Ike before the indigo-haired swordsman could react and propelling him almost straight up. Sol grinned, his eyes flashing yellow, and waited for Ike to drop. When he had almost hit the floor, Sol jumped toward him and lit up his sword. "Volcanic Viper Installed!" he held out one foot next to his blade, and a massive snaking flame carried him upward, slammed him into Ike, and continued to lift them into the sky. Ike finally rolled off of the fire pillar and fell to the ground, and Sol dove after him, roaring with mania and blazing with flames.

---

"Somebody help Ike! He'll come back to us in pieces!" Peach yelled.

"No, he's-a fine," Mario said, squinting to watch closely. "Ike's-a weathering every blow, doing what he can to minimize-a the damage. He's hoping-a Sol will tire out, and-a he may yet-a win this one."

"My money's on Sol," Ganondorf said. He then turned back to Black Mage, who he had been conversing quietly with. "It's powered by _love_, you say? How interesting. Tell me more."

"Your money's on Sol, you said?" Wario asked.

"Yeah, it is," Ganon replied coldly. "You offering a bet?"

"We each bet half of our stolen-from-castle gold," Wario suggested. "You in?"

"Absolutely." Ganondorf took Wario's hand, crushing it slightly, and gave it a hearty shake.

---

Just as Ike managed to regain his air control, Sol was right in front of him. "Bandit Revolver Installed!" He spun his body with his legs out, kicking Ike four times and pushing him back into the air. Then for his final kick, he ignited his foot and slammed it into Ike's face, knocking him to the dark grey surface with a large fireball. Ike scrabbled at the floor as he slid across it, his sword sliding away. Sol landed lightly between Ike and his sword, and plunged his blade into the ground. "Gun Flame Installed!" A fiery spike burst from his sword, knocking Ike into the air and back across the arena. Sol chased after him, running faster than usual, but about halfway there he suddenly stopped and fell to his hands and knees, his body smoking like a dying fire. "Ugh… Dragon Install always makes me want to throw up…" he muttered. The flames around him, and the yellow glint in his eyes, were gone. However, so were most of his wounds, and the few that remained had partially healed.

Ike got to his feet and began running toward his blade. "I've got to get to my blade…" he panted, "…while Sol is still too weak to move. I can finish this now!"

"Oh no you don't!" Sol procured an Assist Trophy from his pocket and slammed it on the ground, which was rapidly transforming back to normal. "Faust!" The trophy flashed and was replaced with a strange, crouching figure. He wore a stylish white coat with large, silver buttons, a black tie, a pair of khakis, walking shoes, and a brown paper bag over his head with one eyehole cut out. He held a massive scalpel (about six or seven feet long) in both hands, and he was incredibly lanky – if he stood up straight, he would be upwards of eight feet tall. "Faust," Sol barked, "You help people in need, right?"

"Of course!" Faust replied in a voice that was cracked and twisted with more than a little insanity. "I'm Faust, the Dark Docter!"

"Well, help _me_ by hurting _him!_" Sol pointed to Ike, who had grabbed his sword and was now carefully advancing on this new threat.

"That's completely against the Hippocratic oath!" Faust said, aghast. "Okay." He ran toward Ike, scrabbling in a kind of mad crawl. Suddenly, he jumped toward Ike headfirst and began to spin his body rapidly. "GOING MY WAY!" he shrieked, and he barreled into Ike, spinning like a drill. Both were thrown to the ground. Ike rolled to his feet, and immediately was forced to jump away as Faust got up while spinning his very sharp scalpel like a baton. "Rerere no Tsuki!" he yelled, stabbing forward. Ike barely dodged the thrust, but it sheared the left shoulder plate off his armor. Ike then angrily slammed his sword into the scalpel, knocking it away. Faust seemed completely unfazed by this, and suddenly pulled something out of his coat pocket. "What's _THIS?_" he asked, holding up a large black bomb with a white skull on it. The bomb was lit.

"Yah!" Ike ran away from Faust, who was enveloped in a fiery explosion. When the smoke cleared, Faust was totally unharmed, except he was disappearing.

"That will be all," Faust said, "I have others in need to help. Be sure to get regular checkups!" then he was gone, as was his scalpel.

---

"What a freak," Falco muttered.

"Oh yeah," Sonic agreed.

"That was… very strange," Presea concurred.

"That guy reminded me of Yoshimitsu," Ivy said with a shudder. "And Voldo… no, don't crawl on me, you withered, half-dead freak!" Everybody jumped away from Ivy as she began brushing her skin frantically with her gauntlet while swinging her sword wildly with her other hand. "He's on my skin!" she shrieked.

---

"Well, that's one less freak of the week to deal with," Ike said.

"Are you implying something?" Sol asked. Ike turned. Sol had somehow gotten behind him, and he was about to slam Ike in the stomach pommel-first. "Block Head Buster!" Ike jumped out of the way just as Sol thrust the pommel forward, and a line of explosions erupted from the sword down the arena. "Ugh… now I remember why I don't use that attack anymore. Such a waste of energy when I miss…"

_That could've blown me away_, Ike realized. _But Master Hand wouldn't have me fight Sol if he didn't think I could win._ "Emblem Flare Blade!" Ike pulled back his sword and charged it with glowing red energy.

Sol waited for Ike to make a move, but the energy only grew in magnitude, eventually shaking the whole arena. "I'm done waiting for the attack. Riot Stomp!" he jumped back, then flew forward with his foot out and ready.

"Took you long enough. Release!" Ike swung the blade, now crackling with power, down toward Sol's head.

"Roman Cancel! Faultless Defense!" Sol stopped his kick and threw an arm out to either side, creating a green bubble shield around him. The blade crashed down on the bubble and released a huge red fireball, forcing Sol back across the arena as it changed to Ground mode. "That was annoying. "Riot Stomp!" Sol jumped straight up, and burst forward again in another kick.

"Deadeye!" Ike lined up his sight along his sword, and then thrusted it forward, causing a thin blue bolt of arrow-shaped force to fly toward Sol. It stuck Sol in the chest and knocked him over. "Yeah! It's a hit!"

"Ow… piece of crap…" Sol got to his feet and dashed toward Ike again. "Grand Viper!" he slid forward, his feet ablaze, but Ike dodged back, remembering the explosive end to the tackle. Ike then jumped forward again, preparing to strike. "Fefnir!" Sol yelled, and he brought his free arm forward in a fast flaming punch. He caught Ike in the stomach, knocking him back. Before the blow could send Ike flying, Sol brought forth his blade, creating a massive spinning fireball. "Tyrant Rave… Alpha!"

"Ahhh!" Ike was sent flying back into a dirt mound, where he slid to the ground. He lifted his head to see Sol charging him, and got to his feet, coughing up a bit of blood. "I'm not finished yet! Astra!" Ike jumped forward, blade flashing, and scored five shallow cuts on Sol's chest, struggling him back. "Your name's not so unique! SOL!" Ike stabbed Sol in the gut, and as Sol's wound bled, Ike's wounds healed. "How's that?"

"Not bad…" Sol stumbled back off of Ike's blade, then jumped forward again. "Fefnir!" Ike ducked under the attack this time, not wanting to expose himself again to the powerful attack or the even stronger blow that followed it. Sol kneed Ike in the face, knocking him away. "Riot Stomp!" Sol exploded forward, foot out for stomping, but Ike was ready.

"Counter!" Ike slashed at Sol in midair, causing him to hit the ground rolling. "How's that?" Ike turned to face Sol, but Sol had already recovered and was charging Ike again.

"Yah!" Sol delivered a vicious uppercut, smashing Ike into the air, and slammed the flat of his blade into Ike. "Tyrant Rave… Beta!" Another fireball burst forward from the flat of his blade, pinning Ike back into the dirt and turning it to glass around him. "I'm interested to see if you'll be getting up. Only my strongest opponents can tolerate a double Tyrant Rave."

"Well then, should I feel honored?" Ike managed to pull himself out of the mound of glass, which disappeared after he left it, and fell to the ground. "Your attacks are really strong… but I beat the Black Knight, I can definitely beat _you._"

"Oh, please. I don't know him, but I doubt the Black Knight is the same kind of threat that Justice and Ky Kiske are." Sol shrugged, and suddenly pounded his sword into the ground again. "GUN FLAME!" Ike dodged around the flames and jumped forward, bringing his blade down. Sol parried, and brought his free hand forward. "Fefnir!"

"Counter!" Ike parried the devastating punch, and returned with a strong flaming slash of his own. Sol staggered back, clutching his bleeding side. "Luna!" Ike slashed Sol in the chest twice, and then finished by bringing his blade up in a devastating blow that sent Sol sailing. The brown-haired swordsman-for-hire dug his blade into the ground, pulling himself to a halt as the stage reverted to normal.

"Good work," Sol said, forcing himself to a standing position. "Let's see how you fare against my strongest attack!" Ike tensed up, ready to dodge, and Sol threw a pair of fireballs from the flat tip of his sword… both of which missed Ike, sailing to either side of him.

"Hey, what gives?" Ike asked, but Sol dashed right towards him. Ike tried to dodge to the side, but found a wall of fire blocking his way. _Crap, so that's what the fireballs are for!_ He began to jump, but it was too late, Sol was right on top of him.

"Tyrant…" Sol delivered a vicious fiery uppercut to Ike's chest, sending him up and backwards. "…Rave…" Sol spun, jumped, and slammed the same fist down on Ike again as he fell, causing him to strike the ground hard and bounce back up. Sol's momentum carried him forward until he was right next to Ike, and he pulled his blade forward. "…OMEGA!" As Sol slammed the blade into Ike's chest, a huge, fiery dragon's head erupted from the blade, sending Ike skidding back across the stage to its edge, where his head hung over. "You still alive over there? My only opponent ever to survive a triple Tyrant Rave dodged two of them."

"Urgh… my chest…" Ike struggled to move. "I may have to throw in the towel before this kills me."

_Come on, is that any way for the greatest hero in Tellius's history to talk? t_he phantom voice from before asked playfully. An auburn-haired young man with a carefree smile, blue armor with gold trim, and a sword at his waist floated in front of Ike. He was transparent. _I expected better, I really did,_ he continued.

"Tormod?"

He laughed. _Close enough. I'm Roy, the guy you took the place of for the Smash tourney. I died yesterday when the lineup was being modified, but that's besides the point. Anyhoo, I think I can help you beat this guy. I was Smashing for a good six years, and I know a thing or two about predicting sword attacks. Plus I've been watching Sol the whole time._

"Uh, Master Hand, isn't Ike dead or something? We can call the match, right?" Sol yawned. "I for one am exhausted."

"**Shush, it's rude to interrupt his conversation.**"

"What?"

"So… you want to help me beat Sol?"

_Yes._

"Alright, here goes nothing." Ike, with some difficulty, hauled himself to a standing position. "Quick Draw!" He dashed forward and slashed, but Sol blocked, locking their blades. "Nice timing."

"It's what I do." Sol brought up his foot for a kick, but Ike deflected it with his knee. Sol tried for a punch, but Ike caught his wrist and twisted. "Your durability is getting annoying, kid!" Sol broke the locked blades apart and began slashing rapidly at Ike.

_Okay, he'll attack low center, high right, left center, low right, high center…_ Ike was dodging or parrying each blow as it came, but Sol simply refused to leave himself open. _Low left, right center, high right, low center again, and then he'll jump back…_ Roy's predictions were all accurate as Sol leapt back thru the air. _Now he'll use his special attacks…_

"Gun flame!" Ike dodge the waves of fire and rolled, coming up on one knee. "RIOT STOMP!" Sol flew slightly back and into the air, and then blasted forward with his foot out.

_Riot Stomp homes in on you, and you're hurt too badly to take the shock of blocking it. There's a split second before it hits you where he's open to just about anything, so give it your best shot._

"Right," Ike said with a smile. "PREPARE YOURSELF!" When Sol came within sword range, Ike slashed upward, knocking Sol into the air, high above the center of the arena. Ike threw the sword up toward Sol, slashing him again, and leapt into the sky, catching it right above Sol. "GREAT AETHER!" he began to unleash multiple vicious slashes on Sol, slicing up his arms, legs, torso and face.

_NOW! _Roy's voice resounded through Ike's head over the sick sounds of a blade carving flesh and bone. _Destroy his headband with your last strike!_

"Whatever you say… YAH!" Ike slammed his sword down onto the headband, bisecting 'ROCK YOU', and brought both Sol and himself crashing to the ground. In the middle of a shallow crater, Ike pulled his sword from the plate, snapping it in half and revealing a strange symbol underneath, tattooed into Sol's forehead. "I win…" Ike said grimly.

Sol's body was ruined. Slash marks covered his head, chest and stomach, and his arms and legs had been nearly severed near the hips and shoulders. His breaths were shallow, and blood bubbled up from his lips with each exhale. "I'm sorry…" Sol mumbled.

"Sorry?" Ike asked, noting that Roy's presence seemed to be gone. "Sorry for what?"

Steam began to pour from Sol's many wounds, and his eyes turned yellow. "I can no longer be held responsible for my own actions," he said with a chuckle as his incisors elongated into fangs.

---

"What's with Sol?" Vyse asked.

"Sol's not human," Mewtwo said. "I've been trying to read his mind, and I just got in. Apparently, he's something called a 'Gear', although the headband suppresses that side of him."

"Sol's a gear?" Lucas paled. "Ike's a dead man. Sol will tear him apart."

---

Sol's wounds were all closing up as he got to his feet, and flames wreathed his body. He looked up with a maniacal grin. "Dragon Install: Sakkai!" He leapt forward and slashed Ike across the chest, and unleashed an uncontrolled volley of slashes, stabs, punches, and kicks on Ike, lighting him ablaze. He ripped a diagonal slash up and across Ike's chest, launching him into the air. Finally, a flaming tail and pair of draconic wings manifested from Sol's back. "DIE!" he flew into the air and slashed back down across Ike's body, slamming him into the ground.

"**That's enough, Sol. You win!**" Master Hand snapped his fingers, and Sol's headband reassembled itself around his skull, causing him to calm down and causing his wings and tail to vanish.

"I'm… alive…" Ike managed to gasp. "What… happened… Roy?"

Roy's spirit appeared, hovering over Ike. _Oh, I forgot to mention. I resent you for taking my spot. You probably shouldn't be taking my advice without consideration._

---

After Master Hand had patched Ike up, he brought Sol and Ike to the audience platform. "**Okay, everybody, I've decided on a few more lineup changes.**"

"Shouldn't that wait until we get to the stadium for the next fight?" Samus asked.

"**Oh, we're staying right here for the next fight. This place is barely destroyed at all! Anyway, please welcome Captain Olimar and his Pikmin…**" a small man with a large nose and a space suit showed up, accompanied by a half-dozen small, plantlike beings of various colors. "**…and Lucario.**" A blue and black wolf-like bipedal Pokemon showed up. He had spikes on the back of his hands, red eyes, a tail, and two black dreadlocks on the back of his head that resembled the back of a headband. "**Mewtwo, say hello to Lucario.**"

"Hey, Lucario, long time no see," Mewtwo said, shaking… paws with the Aura pokemon. "Wait… why do you want me to shake hands with Lucario?"

"**Because… he's your replacement.**" As Master Hand spoke, Crazy Hand snuck up behind Mewtwo and grabbed him. "**Sorry, Mewtwo, but the people have spoken. You're out.**"

"What 'people'?!" Mewtwo yelled. "You know what? Screw this! SPARK! RAPID SPIN!" Mewtwo began to emit electricity and rotate in Crazy Hand's grip, causing him to let go. "PSYCHO CUT!" He slashed off Crazy Hand's thumb. "DOOM DES-"

"**Momma, it hurts, it hurts SOOOOO BAD!**" Crazy Hand went flying off, causing Mewtwo to turn his next attack toward Master Hand.

"**Okay, that's enough, you can stay,**" Master Hand sighed apathetically. "**Whatever. Anyway, I'm also bringing back Marth and Ness.**" He snapped his fingers, and they returned.

"Wait, I thought that was Ness," Pit said, pointing to the bloody, cap-wearing pile in the corner.

"**No, that's fresh hamburger meat that Crazy Hand put Ness's spare hat on. I swear, that brother of mine…**"

"But… but…" Bowser turned to Lucas, then to Ness. "Ness, but… Ness in a wig…"

"Pay up, Sol won," Ganon was yelling at Wario.

"No way!" Wario snarled.

"Look, don't make me go Dark Beast on your round ass!"

**Rerere No Tsuki – In this case, Tsuki means stab, lunge, or thrust, but Rerere didn't translate. Given the nature of Faust's character, it probably doesn't mean anything.**

**There might not be a next chapter. I don't know, I'm burned out on this story. Sorry guys, I warned you it wasn't really a serious fic for me.**

**By the way, I'm holding a writing tournament, for anybody who's interested. There will be a prize, and all you have to do is write fight scenes starring the character of your choice better than any other author in the tournament. See my forum, A Winner Is You! (link provided in my profile), if you're interested.**


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